Do you get over your first love?

[Anonymous]

I've found myself single, at the age of 24, having only had one relationship of 2 years who I lost my virginity to. He did plenty of sweet things and we had good times.

However he's also treated me very badly, was emotionally manipulative and didn't put much effort in I don't feel like. He didn't really care about my feelings.

Will I always love him? It's like I thought I always would but he's treated me so badly and now we don't talk at all that I don't know if I will. I thought we would remain friends at least...


Do you still love your first? Do you think I would feel better if I had had more that one partner?

Getting with someone else almost feels like a betrayal I guess because it's not just a special thing between me and one person anymore. Like I don't want to get with a random.

[Dim1213]

Sadly only with time and another man. Is the only way that I found to get over your first man. For me it took time and another woman.
My first love was in junior high and I liked this girl so I listened to the others and told her. Soon after we were close friends. Only she was not interested at all romantically. She just wanted a guy she could use when needed. Everything was all one sided. I asked her to hang out but she never asked me to hang out. I listened to her but she never listened to me. For 3 years we were "freinds" but she was anything but a freind. She hated me hanging out with any girl. Even my freind and their girlfriend. She got mad when I hung out with my cousin and his wife without her.
The only thing that made me notice was my mates telling me that she was using me after she chewed out his girlfriend. I had known both of them since kindergarten so I actually did listen to their advice. Unlike the others that told me the same thing but cause I was head over heals for her I did not listen.
I gave her one more chance to go on a date with me to the school dance but like normal she gave me a BS reason she could not go. Little did I know she was always dating behind my back. She told me her parents would not let her date. After I told her that I just wanted to be her freind. She threw a huge fit but told me we could just stay freinds. After she was anything but freindly. For the rest of highschool she would do everything she could to hurt me. She drove off my dates, she made fun of me being a gentleman, she regularly threw mustard on me. So I would start just dressing in black. I had one yellow sweatshirt that kind of looked cool with the stains.
After highschool I was finally rid of her. It took me about a year to get used to not having to deal with her.

Do I love her nope, Would I have felt better if I had liked another girl before her probably not. For a bit it did feel like I was betraying her. However I eventually got over it when I realized that she just did not like me. She was not jealous, she just hated me and wanted to hurt me.

[Asker]

sounds like she liked the power she had over you, knowing you liked her but didn't wanna be with you or let anyone else be with you either. she sounds like a horrible person so you are much better of without someone like her. good for you

[Dim1213]

I fully agree. Try writing him a long letter letting him know how you feel and then just let go of him and burn the letter. That strangely often helps.

[Asker]

I might do. im so so tempted to contact him and let him know how bad he treated me, was emotionally abusive etc but maybe i'll just burn it instead

[Dim1213]

I'm quite sure he knows how he treated you. They all do. My exfreind contacted me our second year in college and basicually said that she is tiered of being used by guys and she want to try things with me cause I was always good to her. She admitted that she was a huge bitch back in highschool cause of... We both still lived in the same town but I wanted nothing to do with her. So I just told her no she had her shot and used me for it. She kept messaging me so I blocked her. They know what they are doing and won't be sorry for it until they miss you. Even then I doubt that they would change.

[Asker]

I doubt he missed me as he split up with me but yeah I like to thik one day he'll realise he won't find someone as good as me (I put up with a lot and was very good to him). I told him how bad he treated me and he acted surprised and got upset before but I think he was manipulating me to feel sorry for him again. I dunno if he has the self awareness to realise what he did

[Dim1213]

Either way he is not worth wasting your time over. Time to move on girl.

[Asker]

I kniw I know I am tryin! haha

[1derweye]

Having one of the longer spans of years here at GAG, since that much simpler time, back when everything was too complicated, I'm very fortunate to still retain amazingly vivid memories... of when I made so many mistakes! My first Love, of course, fills much of this imagery. The "several"-ish decades in between, have their own jump-off venues, but they don't cloud some Beautiful visages, of such a young us. I love the age that I am, right now! I can not imagine a better period to have grown-up, matured and still remain able-bodied, capable and... virile... in, thank you very much! The ages do take a toll. They will take much more, much quicker. I got that... a long time ago. Like time is going to jump out of nowhere and go straight for my throat? Well, it can! Growing old, or suffering misfortune, I have to accept with a realistic perspective.
However, something has been wrong in the philosophy I've adopted for most of my life. A "tic".
I'm confident in my problem solving skills, but I don't have clue in how to cope with this... To not ever again see my first Love, outside of my head, standing in front of me, for only a minute... that...
oh... that frightens me so.
Where are you Merry?

[1derweye]

I got pretty drawn into my own mortal obsession when I was writing an answer to you're question. I had to step back after finishing it. 'When I returned, I thought I should reread the content you posted with this question. Glad I did. I like to personally refer to the individual I'm writing to, so how about "Anony"? Kinda catchy? I know, right? "Mous" just doesn't have that... ugh... certain... eloquence... to it. Anony, this writing-pane doesn't have much capacity to it. I'd like to write a summary of your story with my own interpretations to serve as a "common denominator" for tying thoughts and concepts together. I'll need you 'reverification if I got things exactly right or not. I don't have explicit answers. I believe you're a moral, decent Woman. Thats a lot at stake. The inner conflicts your wrestling with could jeopardize that. I have a couple of ideas that may help. Take a look at my posts. More than just a few! If you get an acceptable impression, please message me, K?

[Asker]

um, you wrote an awful lots of words without much to say other than that you wanted me to message you? couldn't you just give me any advice you do have, here? no offense haha

[1derweye]

I apologize for my point being unclear. I mistakenly assumed the issues you we're coping with, were more complex than a few lines of random advice would have any impact on. I retract.

[Asker]

cheers, well lines would help but written concisely or not, they tend to help if there's advice there haha :) I'd still love your help but just, you know, on here not over PM

[Snow-Girl36]

I struggled to get over my first love (I dated him when i was 17) and it took me a long time to build myself back up, grow happy with myself, and who I am again.
I was in a simiar situation, my ex was the only relationship I had, until I was 20. He treated me terribly, he was addicted to drugs, got into heavy drinking and eventually i had to leave that unhealthy relationship.
I spent 3 years being single, working on myself and happily met my best guy friend (who helped me through this breakup) who became my boyfriend years later.

I think you need to take time to get over him, heal your heart and sometimes it is better to put yourself out there and try again. You will find that right someone you click with, who will put those broken pieces back together and make you forget all about your past. You don't have to get together with someone random, start slow and be friends first. Try going on dates with new people, they can be mutual friends, friends of friends, or even new people if you want to give it a shot.

I think it'd benefit you well to start dating. You need to get out there and stop dwelling on the past. You should be proud of yourself for getting through it, and though you may not feel you are over it yet, i gaurentee once you start seeing someone else, you will forget about the constant heart ache, and learn to enjoy being happy, opening yourself up to new people, building bonds and searching for that connection the last relationship didn't give you. Being friends with your ex isn't ideal, it just makes it harder for you to move onward, and having him there is a constant reminder of what happened, which doesn't help.

You will be okay! Take your time, and take things at your own pace. Give yourself time to heal, and find someone new. Good things come to those who wait, and i assure you that wait is most probably worth it. In the mean time, keep working on you. Being happy with yourself first is most important. :-)

[Asker]

thank you! i'd love to start dating people but I don't know where i'd find people to go on dates with! haha. I really like this answer it's really comforting

[Snow-Girl36]

You're very welcome! I'm glad I could help. Honestly, there's so many places you can find dates, but sometimes it's better to take things one step at a time. You can let friends offer you dating ideas, maybe they can set someone up with you who they feel is a great match, or if you're into online mingling, there's plenty of apps you can meet new friends and seek potential dating partners. Honestly though, do your thing and keep your options open. I've had friends who met their significant others at coffee houses, pubs, school, I met my ex at a mall when he was working (i was visiting out of my city), there's endless opportunities out there to meet and find someone new to date. You could even ask, if you're interested in anyone :] You just gotta keep searching, and keep your options open. Allow yourself to get out there and enjoy it again!

[Asker]

thanks :) think im gonna chill for a bit and see if I meet anyone naturally (my options are limited tbh because I live in a rural area and work with mostly women!) and if I get really worried about it i'll try online dating. I always worry that people on dating sites will be, I don't know.. a bit weird? im sure their not though

[vonasaurus]

you will move past it eventually, though this is a wound that only time and tears can heal.

in my teen years, i dated a guy who was much the same as the one you described. we had both good and bad times; i was in love (in fact, it was the first time i'd set my trust issues aside and allowed myself to let someone that close), and the end was disastrous. it only cemented my belief that people were self-serving and couldn't be trusted.

after that, i thought that i was unworthy of love; that i'd had my one chance at it, fucked it up, and would never have it again. i fell into a deep depression and got into relationships with people who were totally wrong for me because i was more afraid of being alone than of what would happen to me if i stayed. and yes, it felt like i was somehow being disloyal if i did anything with someone who wasn't him.

but it got, as it does, better.

i'm long past loving my first; if he does cross my mind, as any acquaintance does from time to time, i think of him as just another person from my past. the opposite of love isn't hate: it's indifference.

just keep in mind that grief doesn't have a timeline. so cry, watch sad movies, and eat ben & jerry's for as long as it takes... your heart will heal when it's ready.

:) <3

[Asker]

awh I really like this reply! I don't like being alone but maybe im better off waiting for someone nice. cheers

[Paris13]

First Love is Someone, hun, where No one ever Can... Dare to Compare.
I was 13 when I had my First. We were Happy together for 3 years. However, Dan the Man was still Wet behind the Ears in Years and I found that it was Best from the Rest to Let Go of him and let him Expand himself, where in the End, he Ended up with someone who was Better for him in Life and in Having 6 kids.
For along time, I was Comparing him to every Tom, Dick and Harry. But finally, I was Able to Move on and even Now Somehow, with All of the Many Dates and Mates I Would and Will have in my Life, my Husband out in Egypt, is the Next One, hun, Even being Estranged. xx

[Asker]

thanks. why is your husband in Egypt?

[Paris13]

He lives out there. We found one another back in 2011 on Facebook and I flew out there a few times, where we had tied the knot. I lived with him and his family for awhile, came back to the states and never returned. Middle East has Grown so very bad now.:((xx

[Asker]

you don't send him money do you? I hope its not a scam

[Paris13]

lol!! No, never, and not a scam. I Married him, hun and we are still very much in Love. He Supported me in Egypt when I lived with him and his Lovely family. Gooood Muslim family. Look more into Nigeria and Ghana which is a sure scam. I am Facebook advocate for Online scammers so I have done plenty of Homework in 7 years, dear. xx

[Asker]

okay, good! by the way I remember your username, you gave me good advice a couple of years ago so thank you

[Paris13]

Thanks so much for the Trip down your own memory lane. I have been here now for 3 years and it is Great Gals like yourself, and also the Gag Guys, who make me Motivated to Continue my own Journey of Helping Others. Happy to have Helped Here, dear. xx

[Asker]

that's alright, you gave me good advice a couple times when I was scared to get into a relationship. so thank you :)

[Paris13]

lol Ironically, I am Now Influencer now of "Relationships." "Break up and Divorce" too. Hope I helped some, hun, and surprised you never saw my story of the Husband from Egypt I married. I tell this a million times. lolxx

[Asker]

haha, actually I think you might have helped me to open up to this guy in the first place. but oh well I was a scared little 22 year old 2 years ago and although I've got a broken heart now i'm more confident in a lot of ways and at least have a bit of life experience. I might have read about your husband before, I don't remember doing so though

[Paris13]

lol!! being you have been on Gag still this Long, you have become Strong. lol!! Yes, my story is out there, some even comment on this and say "You are still Married to him?"lolxx

[Asker]

well I was on it a lot before the relationship then didn't bother much unless I had concerns (I did with him) and have come back now. so are you guys still together, just obviously in different countries? how do you make that work? can't he come to the US?

[Paris13]

We have not spoken since Last New years day when I told him I could Not talk to him that minute and that I was going to go to NYC to do some business, he called me a Cheater and then he deleted Circles, I never answered any Skype and then he Blocked me again on "Our own" Facebook page. It's best this way. Difficult to get a Foreign spouse here legally with Visa deal. xx

[Asker]

ah right! so are you looking for someone new now or hoping it will work out? sounds tough

[Paris13]

I live with an Ex as a Roomie and family and friend but I date when I want. Just going slow now, enjoying life, and keeping buys with my Healthcare job and Gag, of course. lolxx

[Asker]

good for you. wish you the best

[Paris13]

You too, hun, and Thanks so much for the Great chat. xx

[Asker]

is okay :)

[Paris13]

:)) xxoo

[tinyclit]

There is "love" and there is "in love." You may love each and every one of your past lovers for the rest of your life. The other feelings you had for them, the ones that made you split up, will gradually fade away and only the fond pleasant feelings of love will remain. In the mean time you can be in love with and enjoying the company of someone else.

[Asker]

thanks. I feel like maybe I don't even have love for him at the moment cos he was so bad to me. but I still think about him a lot. at the moment I can't think of the ice stuff as its tainted by how bad he was and it makes me sad we'll never have the nice bits again

[AriadneSky]

really depends. i think some people do some dont. depends on if you put effort into it. i think if you did what you could and it dd not work it makes it say to move on. poll probably be ok.

[Asker]

I did sooo much for him to improve his life and make the relationship nice but just never got the same back and he ditched me anyway. thanks

[lightbulb27]

you will have feelings until you release him and let those feelings go. Accept. then that spaces allows someone else to come in.

The chemicals of mating are amazing... read about them.

[Asker]

I will do that sounds interesting. I've accepted its ended its just hard to stop thinking of him

[lightbulb27]

that's what drugs do... make you think about that drug. think about that... addicts always go back to and focus on the one thing they need... that drug. true in relationships. I'm just addressing one angle of this, but oxytocin is strong bonding chemical... bonds woman to fetus, bonds woman to man. focus on something else, ask God to find you a good mate, and stop perfecting him in your mind. you'll get past it.

[Asker]

thank you :) it felt like withdrawal - I couldn't sleep eat or concentrate for a week. I kept messaging him like a crazy person. it only stopped when I came off social media

[Unesjomajo]

I know its hard to believe what Im gonna say but there are guys who will love you and do anything to make you happy and treat you nicely and with respect. And trust me, you will forget about your first love. He was just a life lesson. you'll find your luck.

[Asker]

thank you! :) I hope so. I thought he treated me with respect at the time but looking back he didn't really do that much he just told me he did

[Unesjomajo]

Yesh, actions speak louder than words... you'll know exactly what I mean when you meet the right guy, trust me.

[Asker]

thanks :D I did always have doubt about him as much as I wanted it to work out cos I loved him

[Unesjomajo]

Yeah, of course you loved him. But that gut feeling of yours was right. Its always right. But see it as a lesson learned. You won't ever let anybody treat you that way again. You are worth so much more.

[Asker]

:D cheers. I ignored my gut cos I was so blinded by my feelings. also he emotionally manipulated me so I kinda didn't know what I thought through the break up it messed me up

[NJ_Casanova]

Depends on what you mean... First girlfriend, I wasn't in love with, seconds I was in lust with. I still haven't gotten over my EX who I felt was my soul mate.

[Asker]

do you think i''ll get over mine since he treated me so badly? I really loved him and wanted a future with him but he hasn't been good to me

[NJ_Casanova]

I think it will take time.. you are young and aren't linked to him by a kid. I've had friends with benefits relationships since my EX... had fun/great time... but when I'm alone I still think of her.(I'm a hopeless romantic) It's not as painful as it use to be... but it still sucks she didn't feel the same, as the dreams of what could have been were great. If I ever get over her.. I'll PM you;-)

[Asker]

cheers!

[Streamhopper]

You will. I promise. I still remember the first girl I was with; she was a sweet girl, but in the end it just didn't work out. And that's life. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go for the next round. You never know when the right person will be there, but the adventure is in the trying, and finding, of that special one.

[Asker]

thanks! I don't even know where I could meet anyone at the moment, that's the scary bit

[Streamhopper]

You meet people all the time; you just met me, as an example. You meet people at the store, the library, the mall, everywhere. It may seem limited, but when you think about it, there's a lot of ways to meet people. =^.^=

[Asker]

true! you don't tend to meet people there that you really talk to though do you (im British. people don't talk to strangers much haha)

[Streamhopper]

Ah, well, yeah, we're shy in America, too. If I saw you at the mall, I don't know if I'd say hi or not. I guess it'd depend. But anyway, I think you'll be fine. Just relax and let life take its course. :)

[Asker]

thanks! I think you'd be a bit old for me anyway im only 24!

[Streamhopper]

My girlfriend is your age, so no, I wouldn't be. :) Age is nothing but a number. Feelings are forever.

[Asker]

fair enough! not judging. I know that for me I am far too naïve to be with an older man right now though. good luck to you both

[Streamhopper]

Oh , don't be silly. You can be with anyone you like. Older, younger, no matter. What you have to get past is the present. You can crawl into your bellybutton. That's your choice. I'd not recommend that.

[Asker]

well I could but I don't think i'm mentally or emotionally mature enough - that's just my preference. plus like I wouldn't want that person to die if their that much older and to leave the kids alone. that's stuff I would think about

[Streamhopper]

But how do you know? I could live to 100. And if I had a reason to, I just might. I've got a lot of love yet to give. We'll see how that works out.

[Asker]

you might well do! but my older father died when I was young and I wouldn't want the same for my kids or for me again. so that's a fear of mine

[Streamhopper]

Love's always a fear. It's always a risk. You can embrace that, or you can run from it. That choice is yours and yours alone. It could be the best you've ever had; or it could be your worst nightmare. But if you never take that chance, how would you know?

[Asker]

well I wouldn't know. maybe if I can't find a twenty something i'll branch out but I think im okay for now haha

[Streamhopper]

You'l be fine. :) Just keep up hope, you'll be fine.

[Asker]

thanks

[BubbleQueen]

I never got over my first relationship and doubt I ever will, during the time I experimented with both sexes, having boyfriends and girlfriends.

[Asker]

oh noo haha (about the not getting over it, I've obviously nothing against the experimentation)

[WaterRat]

It's attachment more than love. This moment is great for getting back to yourself and self love, you don't want to be treated like crap that's why it's over. Do some yoga, get self help books. It feels like forever, I took almost 2 years to get over it. Eventually you'll want to meet other people and they will show you attention too.

[Asker]

yeah I feel like it might be attachment. my father passed when I was a teenage very suddenly (he went to work and never came back) and since then I never feel safe because of abandonment. so I clung onto this boy cos I didn't want him to leave too. even though he split up with me. thank you :) do you have any recommendations for self help books? I might look into doing yoga

[WaterRat]

Sorry to hear that, that is real abandonment. I've tried "how to heal a broken heart in 30 days", it had nice advice. There are others you can preview online as well. They said the healing has already begun <3

[Asker]

thanks :)

[BeautifulPromisesx]

To answer your questions:

1. No I'm not in love with him anymore.

2. Yeah you need to start meeting more people out there.. There are some amazing dudes who will treat you so good.. You just need to open up and realize life goes on.

[Asker]

thanks! I feel trapped at the moment like im not meeting anyone

[Dinaomg]

You will get over your ex if you decide to move on and get a man who deserves to be with you, love you, care about you and respect you. A year ago a broke up with a guy I thought that we going to get married and a lot of nice stuff but that didn't happen. So he dump me and I had a bad time to move on cause I thought that he is the best guy and nobody is better than him but i was completely wrong wrong wrong. After 4 months i met my current boyfriend and he helped me to move on and forget my exbf forever.✨ give it a try

[Asker]

thanks! I'm happy for you. that's what I thought would happen with my ex and he wasn't very nice. where did you meet your bf?

[Dinaomg]

I met him when i was in London ( restaurant )

[Asker]

aww that's nice!

[weirdusername]

Honey please please stay away from people who treat you that way, you learn who you are as a woman when you explore the dating world. Not saying you should be a wh*** but please date more and leave him alone. A man will manipulate and treat you horribly if they see you as naive and no one is more naive than a girl who's never had more than one bfs.

[Asker]

yepp i'm deffo naïve I know that - less now than I was but hey ho. I wanna date other people but I haven't met anyone that wants to! I didn't realise how bad he had treated me until after we broke up

[Asker]

and people started telling me what he'd done was bad

[weirdusername]

I was treated badly by a few guys in my early dating life, I however am a bold one, I take chances and found out that I was one of the few of my kind, they were trying to keep me from knowing that, this is why I don't advise girls saving themselves and confining themselves to one person, that can destroy you.

[Asker]

yeah. I was getting sad thinking it didn't work out with my first but maybe its good because i'll get to experience other people. I was scared I wouldn't find anyone else and that's why I clung to him

[weirdusername]

That's the thing they know, it's hard to leave someone who appears to be special, he was to you because he's the first but not very special because he's an asshole screw him. Go have fun but be safe, plenty more assholes out there, just be confident and know that men only pretend to be hard to please because they are really the insecure ones, think about it you're the one who settled for him because he was first, but he tried to make you think he settled.

[Asker]

he never even seemed to think it was that special that he was my first anyway. yeah true. I am much better than him anyway. he doesn't look after himself at all

[Melissa4]

I had the same feeling/experience like you too. And the worst that he left me hanging for another chick.
It's been almost more then two months and I'm strarting to move on well with my life. I find myself happier. At least I don't have to handle the relationship stress anymore.
I deserve a way better guy then him and he was never worth it.
I thought I will never be able to get over him cause he was my first love/kiss and we dated for almost six years but no that's not very true. I'm getting over him with time.

IT WILL TAKE TIME TO GET OVER HIM!
And trust me it will come back to him and bite him in the ass.

STAY STRONG!

[Asker]

people have told me they thought he might have another girl, because he dragged it out for a few weeks (the break up). mines been 2 months too and although I am happier I still think about him and wish I was with someone really. thank you! I'm here if you wanna talk/vent. sounds like a similar situation

[jacquesvol]

It was a a one sided love. Since we both dated and married others.
We see each other about twice a year, 10 minutes or so.

[Asker]

is that hard?

[jacquesvol]

No, it's 50 yr old history.

[Asker]

ahh fair enough!

[Kipperprincess]

Yes, although the first time your heart ache is the biggest.

[Asker]

if I have another break up do you think it will be as bad as this one? bc it nearly killed me

[Kipperprincess]

I think the first time hits you harder, at least that was what happened to me. It never is nice but the second time affected me less and I was more in control

[Asker]

ah I hope that's true. thank you

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Nope for me.

[Asker]

how long ago was yours? what happened?

[OrdinaryGentleman]

About 2.5 years ago... a little over that perhaps. She broke up with me through text after a 3 year relationship... i have my suspicions about her talking to someone else... but i no longer had a reason to confirm after she broke up... sad thing is she has since then tried to add me on facebook, snap chat etc... but each time I blocked her. It's just like "do me a favor and leave me alone." I will never truly know what happened. And frankly, at this point, I have no need to.

[Asker]

mine did it on the phone. he said he told me everything he had to say. but never really told me why I don't think. he wouldn't reply to my messages though

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Hmm i think it's best just to let it die. It's worse if you try to figure out what happened.

[Asker]

maybe

[Thrifty]

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After my first heartbreak I was wrecked. It literally felt if some shattered my heart of glass with a hammer.

I didn't take it well. My hair grew long. I stopped caring about my appearance and before you knew it I had a beard and my hair was down my back.

In this time, though, was when I got closest to God thus far. I learned a lot.

Lesson 1: True love comes from God
-Let God love you until you learn to love yourself. The more you love yourself then the more love you're able to love God back and give that love onto others.

Lesson 2: Be dependent on God rather than on yourself or other people/humans.
-People will fail you. Doesn't matter who it is, but God is the one who you go to in any situation and you better bet your ass that he will put the right people in your life to help you through your problem.

I can only bring myself as far as I have gone before. But God will open doors for you that you didn't even know existed.

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[Asker]

I don't want a God I want a new boyfriend! haha

[Thrifty]

When you are dependent on God, you develop a relationship with God and he treats you so much better than a human (a boyfriend would) by teaching you how to love yourself. By loving yourself, you learn how valuable you are and how you are deserving of the very BEST and you will get to a point where you won't even allow a boyfriend to EVER treat you bad... they wouldn't even dare because you are IRREPLACEABLE. You will be singing: "You must not know about me because I'll find another you in a minute because I am irreplaceable." -Beyonce However, in this current position, if you jump right back into the pool with your current thoughts and vibration then the law of attraction will only bring you another similar guy who will also treat you badly. Why do you think that certain people attract relationships with the same problems? It is because the person hasn't changed (internally) their thoughts about loving themselves. Don't allow anyone to love you less than you love yourself.

[Thrifty]

Let me answer a few of your questions: Q: Will I always love him? A: With my first love: I don't really think about her, to be honest. Every once in a while I might, if it's her birthday, but even then it's maybe a minute of a thought and feeling. Point is, you will get over it. But to do so, you have to love yourself first. Q: Do you still love your first? A: Do I still love my first love? I guess... I know that I don't hate her. I think more than anything, I am just thankful for her teaching me the things that I know today because of her. What I learned is that: I love ME. In 20 years, I am still going to be with me. But in 20 years, the is ZERO guarantee that my partner will be there, too. Q: Do you think I would feel better if I had had more that one partner? A: No. Because at this moment, it sounds like you would attract a different body, but same situations.

[Asker]

Thank you - I guess the message I've really taken from this post is self reliance and self love and what need to be there first before someone else (whether a person is religious or not).

[Thrifty]

Yes, you were born in this world alone and you will leave on your own. You didn't need them then and you don't NEED them now.

[Thrifty]

Check this out. The question was "How often do you think about your ex?" from a previous GirlsAskGuys question.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2163585-how-often-do-you-think-about-your-ex

[Asker]

than you :)

[Thrifty]

Love you, babe. Good luck and LOVE YOURSELF!!!

[Asker]

thanks haha

[Blueeyes81]

You do. In 5 years the guy will be a distant memory. Someone who pops into your head once in a blue moon

[Asker]

really? I thought he'd always be important. I don't go a day without thinking about him atm

[Blueeyes81]

It will pass. I hardly ever think of my first love anymore. At first it was daily and then I just started to think of her less and less as time went by. Someone else will take his place in time and that will help to speed up the process for you.

[Asker]

thank you ^_^that's good

[venomhbk1313]

Love always hurts no matter what you get over it and move on

[Asker]

yayy :D

[venomhbk1313]

😉😉😉😉

[nadskirk]

It takes time. i was very much in love with this guy four years ago and you always love them but it changes. DO NOT rush into something else until you know your ready (you will know). You have to accept love that is good for you, there seems to have been abuse in your relationship and that is never ever okay. Good riddance he is no longer in your life. Good luck in your life, xo.

[Asker]

thanks hun :)

[Anonymous]

Hun its probably. as. its. still fresh. As time. goes. on you'll feel less about it

[Asker]

thanks. I wanna go at least a day without remembering him

[Opinion Owner]

I know its hard now. Hell my. first love was the hardest to get over as was together a year. and. a. half. but friends. for 10years. And he was mentally abusive and controlling but you get over. it with time and meeting new people

[Asker]

did you mean it took you ten years to get over him?

[Opinion Owner]

I knew him as a friend for 10 years before we got together

[Asker]

oh I see! good for you