Was sex painful for you at first? How do you make it less painful?

[Anonymous]

Please specify age when you first agreed to have sex. I know these answers may vary from person to person. To the girls who experienced pain, what were some precautions you took to make it less painful for the next time? Or does it just take some getting used to? To those who did not experience pain, what were the circumstances for you like? Did you use lube, do you just naturally get wet enough, was there a significant size difference in you and your partner? Also what are the best positions?

I am 19 and lost my virginity to my boyfriend (22, more experienced) a few months ago, when I was 18. However we stopped after minute or so because I was bleeding and he didn't have condoms. Earlier today we tried again, with apparently lubricated condoms (though it didn't feel very lubricated when I touched it), and it still felt a bit painful. not so much during entry or exit but it was when he was actually inside and pushing. I wanted to stop because it hurt. He agreed he will pick up some lube for next time. Are there any other ways to make sex less painful for a beginner besides lube, or is it just the more the better?
Please give me advice, also just want to know im not the only one who thinks it hurts at first.

[Anonymous]

A lubricated condom isn't enough lubricant. You should use a lube alongside it. Also whether or not it hurts varies depending on each individual woman. The flesh of your hymen may be thicker than other peoples (which also determines if you bleed or not which is perfectly normal!) Everybody's body is different. Foreplay is something you should definitely do before having sex so that you can produce your own lube which will make the experience less painful if not painful at all.

[katieschlesener]

I first had sex with my boyfriend when I was 14 (only a month before id turn 15) and im still with the same guy today. I experienced no pain and I didn't bleed at all. we didn't use a condom or lubricant. the only "pain" is when he first tried to go in but the pain went away once he was in and I didn't feel any pain during sexual intercourse. I guess it depends on the person, but the best position in my opinion is lying down on my side

[Asker]

Interesting, Both times we tried it was me laying on my back, missionary. In a nonsexual sense i find lying on my side more relaxing so maybe I will try that. Did your boyfriend enter from behind you or the front?

[katieschlesener]

behind me :) it's definitely more relaxing for when you are just beginning. if you are at all nervous or uncomfortable, you will tense up and it can be harder for him to go in.

[itsallover]

Sex should never hurt or make you bleed, even when you do it for the first time. It didn't hurt at all when I lost my virginity. This is because I was adequately aroused AND relaxed.

[Asker]

True, I am finding it difficult to relax and would like tips on how to

[BellePepper]

Sex shouldn't be painful and you shouldn't ever bleed.

https://youtu.be/9qFojO8WkpA

[katieschlesener]

well some people bleed their first time so that could be normal

[BellePepper]

@katieschlesener Honey no. Blood is not normal. I understand why you think that and I used to as well, but the fact is that if you are bleeding you are being hurt. Sex should not hurt you.

[katieschlesener]

I mean I've only ever had sex with one guy and I have never bled but I heard that lots of girls bleed their first time.

[katieschlesener]

not saying you are incorrect because i don't necessarily look this stuff up. im just going off knowledge from people i talk to lol

[Asker]

Thanks for the info. Im sure I was bleeding the first time cause we moved in too fast and we had little to no lubrication. I should specify I didn't bleed today but it still hurt inside, like closer to the cervix (?)

[BellePepper]

@katieschlesener Lots of people do bleed their first time. Do any of them say "OMG IT WAS GREAT SEX!111!!"? No. Because it HURTS to have sex when your skin is being ripped and torn because neither of you know that girls' bodies need time to stretch and lubricate. You would know this if you watched the video that was included for a reason.

[katieschlesener]

no need to get super defensive lol. I was just giving insight. im not doubting you at all :) thanks for the extra knowledge

[BellePepper]

@katieschlesener LOL I'm not defensive but I'm glad to help XD

[LastNightmare]

does he eat your pussy before entering you?