Would you date someone who is bigender?

[Anonymous]

Sex does not equal gender so a person with a penis can be a woman inside their head. Bigender is a gender identity which can be literally translated as 'two genders' or 'double gender'. Bigender people experience exactly two gender identities, either simultaneously or varying between the two. These two gender identities could be male and female, but could also include non-binary identities.
#bigender

[samhradh_leannan]

I'm attracted to men, in terms of both sex and gender. Dating a bigender person would probably be hard for me, even if their sex was male, because their gender identity wouldn't align completely with the gender that I'm attracted to. I wouldn't rule it out completely, but as a totally straight woman with a traditional gender identity, dating someone whose sex and gender identity are both male simply makes the most sense to me. Dating someone who isn't fully the gender/sex that I'm attracted to would be a constant compromise in a really major area, and that's a lot to ask of someone.

You're not doomed. But you'll probably have the best chance of finding a good match if you seek out others who are also bigender, or who are bisexual.

[curiousnorway]

But not every bigender is visible bigenders. Some of them may behave, dress and look alike their biological sex. It's just what they identify themselves with that is constantly changing. Not everybody have very visible man and woman days where they are constantly changing their behavior or clothing style. If you're not a mind reader, it would probably not bother you too much.

[samhradh_leannan]

@curiousnorway If they identify as bigender, how will it not affect them in any noticeable way? Forgive me, but this is not something I have ever been exposed to before.

[curiousnorway]

A bigender person may experience gender dysphoria some days, but other days not. That means they sometimes feels comfortable in their biological sex, but other times thinks they are supposed to be the opposite sex. But that doesn't mean they have any needs of dressing like the opposite gender.

[samhradh_leannan]

@curiousnorway But they COULD have those needs, right? Plus, if my partner is uncomfortable with their gender half the time, even if they don't dress differently, that's still going to affect our relationship. And as a straight woman I'm attracted to men, period. So I just can't imagine how I'd be attracted to someone who is not totally comfortable with the fact that they're a dude. Friends? Absolutely. Attracted to them? Not so sure.

[curiousnorway]

People aren't attracted to everybody and that's fine. But for me dating a bigender wouldn't be a issue as long they dress, behave and looks like my preferred gender. If they doesn't want to have sex or being naked in front of me one day, I'm fine with that too. Maybe a couple of days later when they change again they are able to do it. It depends from day to day. Cisgender people do have days they wants to have sex and days they doesn't want too.

[samhradh_leannan]

@curiousnorway True. But the idea that my partner will have days when they don't want to have sex because they feel like they're another gender is just a little much for me to grasp. For the right person, maybe I could get used to it. But I see gender identity as a big deal. I have the absolute respect for every gender identity and that also means I take it very seriously. So it's not easy for me to grapple with the idea of having a partner who isn't my preferred gender half the time, even if they still look and dress the same way.

[curiousnorway]

By the way, some bigender/genderfluid people may stay boy in some months before changing to girl in their mind etc. How often they change their girl and boy mode depends from person to person. Some change several times a day, some change weekly and other monthly. Some may identify themselves as one gender several months before identify themselves as another one. And so on.

[curiousnorway]

People aren't attracted to everybody and that's fine. Gingers are some of my least preferred physical appearance when it comes to dating.

[samhradh_leannan]

@curiousnorway That's genuinely interesting to know. But it doesn't really change my opinion on this. It actually confirms it- having a partner who might not be my preferred gender for months at a time or may not want sex because of their gender identity for months at a time would make a relationship really difficult for me. And again, maybe for the right person, I'd learn to deal with it. However, I can imagine that a bigender person would be better suited to someone who either is in the same position or at least would be attracted to both/all of their gender identities.

[curiousnorway]

You've a good point. It would be a advantage to be bisexual or pansexual if you're going to date people like that. It's also a benefit to be bisexual/pan if you're going to date transsexual people who isn't cis-passing.

[samhradh_leannan]

@curiousnorway Yes, exactly. Because then at least you would have the potential to be attracted to both/all of your partner's genders. That would go a long way in making the whole thing easier.

[SadpersonT]

Maybe, the thing is, and I feel bad saying this, but if they don't have the type of body I am attracted to (not handsomeness but literally the anatomical differences), I don't feel attracted enough to the person to consider dating them. I am straight so it would be difficult if they felt more like a girl sometimes. But if I like their personality, maybe.

[curiousnorway]

Not every bigender is visible bigenders. Some of them may behave, dress and look alike their biological sex. It's just what they identify themselves with that is constantly changing. Not everybody have very visible man and woman days where they are constantly changing their behavior or clothing style. If you're not a mind reader, it would probably not bother you too much.

[ninetynine]

I wouldn't date someone who considers themselves bigender. I don't mind when guys have some feminine qualities (such as being warm, sensitive, and empathetic) or interests (such as fashion and grooming), but dressing or talking like a woman would be a huge turn off.

[curiousnorway]

Not every bigender is visible bigenders. Some of them may behave, dress and look alike their biological sex. It's just what they identify themselves with that is constantly changing. Not everybody have very visible man and woman days where they are constantly changing their behavior or clothing style. If you're not a mind reader, it would probably not bother you too much.

[kaylaS91]

no.
I'm only interested in dating people who are biologically as well as mentally male.

[JuicyBrain]

I hate this trend where people keep inventing new genders all the time. I prefer people who choose to be one or the other instead of giving a name to their incertitude. There are only 2 genders and the others just don't know what the fuck they are. It's ok if you don't know but I won't waste my time with you.
By the way. Being bigender or whatever the fuck you call yourself does not make you interesting. It makes you annoying.

[JimRSmith]

Took the words right out of my mouth. You have your best answer right here, OP.

[starfyredragon]

Research into the genetics behind sex and gender makes your opinion clearly uninformed. One gene determines sex (the SRY gene, although usually denoted by it's host chromosomes, the X and Y chromosomes), this gene can be dominant setup, recessive setup, deleted, or duplicated. This means that there are 15 genetic sexes (allowing for only a single duplication per chromosome... more are possible, but not uncommon). There's the well-known XX (female) and XY (male) and there are 13 intersexes (X- , XXX, XYY, YY, Y-, YXX, YYY, --, -XX, -YY, XXXX, XXYY, and YYYY). Many people are these intersexes and don't even know it until they get tested or find out later in life their bodies don't function exactly like a boy's or a girl's, and 5 of them are nearly always stillbirths. However, although the genetics are still being researched, it's been narrowed down to between 12 and 35 genes that determine gender. Each one of these genes can have a dominant, a recessive, repeats, or deletions. So EACH ONE is as complex as the sex genes. And they interact with -eachother- as well, and they are NOT tied to the XY chromosomes, which means they're more free to duplicate and delete. This means, since they interact, the possible combinations between genes aren't added, they're -exponential-. This means there are, AT MINIMUM, 1,946,195,068,359,375 genders alone, BEFORE you take into account epigenetic, environmemental, ans social factors. That's nearly 2 QUADRILLION potential genders. Humanity will have spread to the far reaches of the corners of the galaxy before we've seen every genetic gender expressed. At that level of diversity, on our little planet, it's much, MUCH more suspicious and fake when someone thinks they're the SAME gender as someone else. Math and genetics has already invented the genders we currently have, what we're doing at this point is *discovering* them.

[curiousnorway]

As long the person looks, dress and acts like my preferred gender, I'm fine with dating them. I don't mind what the bigender person thinks as long it doesn't affect my attraction to them or the relationship with the person. If they suddenly started to cross dressing and behave differently to match their gender identity; having very visible man and woman days, I would probably not date them. I'm not attracted to both genders.

[Cool-Relax]

That sounded really complicated...

What's the difference between bigender and gender fluid?

[curiousnorway]

Bigender and gender fluid is quite similar. Gender fluid people may identify themselves as girl, boy, something in between, both at the same time and neither. But bigender have only two genders they identify themselves with, and they usually identify themselves with only these genders: girl and boy.

[TexanCowgirl]

You are either a male or a female... you can not be both and God does not make mistakes.

I would not date a transgender either.

[Mesonfielde]

>>> God does not make mistakes. Okay that is not exactly true though and you know that. He kinda purged humanity twice according to the story.

[kaazikin]

There is no god tho

[Asker]

I wouldn't date you either

[samhradh_leannan]

If God doesn't make mistakes, he must be awfully lazy.

[curiousnorway]

Male and female; what's between your legs are sex. But sex isn't the same as gender identity; the gender you identify yourself as. I respects you not wanting to date certain people. We're all attracted to difference kind of peoples. By the way if God doesn't make mistake, why do evilness like starvation and war exist then? War, starvation, diseases etc. 'attacks' innocent people as well.

[Izumiblu]

No... for me it's gotta be all guy... gender, sex, mind and body

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

No. I'm not dating someone who's a bigger headcase than me.

[Comawhite666]

I wouldn't say an outright no and depending on how much i liked them as a person i would most likely give it a try , but i wouldn't necessarily find it easy as i've never met someone like that before

[NoahDT]

I personally don't really believe in bigenderism. Non-heterosexuality, yes. Transgenderism, fine. But you're either male or female, not both or neither. So in other words, I'm not attracted to bigendered people because they shouldn't really exist, in my opinion. Harsh, I know

[Berethor]

I might if she have an body of a female, I don't really care what she thinks she is, a man or a cat, for me she is just an some kind of tomboy, that's all.

[ThisDudeHere]

https://i.imgur.com/dcDBKbH.png

[AleDeEurope]

No, take that crap away. I want a woman, not a "something-I-don't-know-what-I-am".

[Rissyanne]

Absolutely not...

[Rissyanne]

What about dating another bigender?

[Asker]

I would but there isn't that many of them 😞

[Rissyanne]

Well would you date a gay guy? Or a lesbian?

[Asker]

i would date a lesbian but i wouldn't date a gay guy because i'm only interested in those who have female sex organs.

[Rissyanne]

Well then look for a lesbian.

[Mesonfielde]

If their sex is female, sure

But I kinda hope they'll keep the "I'm also a guy" bogus to themselves.

[Asker]

they can't. they will go to boy mode, will dress as a boy and act like one.

[Mesonfielde]

That... doesn't really mean anything.

[Asker]

It does, they want you to call them the right pronouns. When we're in boy mode, we want to be treated as a boy.

[Mesonfielde]

Ah. So they switch between what is "acceptable pronoun to use for them at the moment". That would get on my nerves pretty quickly. I refuse to call them "he" if they are female. I'm okay with "they".

[Mesonfielde]

Doomed to be alone forever? It's a complication you create for yourself. With the whole "please refer to me as HE today and SHE tomorrow because fuck if I know"

[curiousnorway]

Asker, not every bigender goes into boy mode or girl mode that's visible for people around them. Some bigenders behave, dress and looks like their birth sex. They just identify themselves as bigender.

[Chico_brah]

How many times are you going to ask this question?

[alice55]

No, I wouldn't

[FakeName123]

"Sex does not equal gender"

That's some bullshit mental gymnastics. Gender directly derives from the biological sex. If gender was some sort of social construct there would be no need to identify as a gender to begin with.

[ASEXY]

Bigender or not, I would not date anyone because I'm asexual/aromantic.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/VU_YVu458KE

[KatherineJ]

Nope, I like my guy to be happy he is a guy.

[starfyredragon]

I would have no problem whatsoever. In fact, I'd probably find it hot.

[DiegoO]

Hermaprhodites are bigender, biologically, however psycologically no one is bigender, you either identify yourself as male or female.

[Knkutz]

Asking someone's gender is basically asking "Do you have a penis or a vagina?" in a nice way. We don't need anyone to make up 50 different genders for varying degrees of femininity. There are two genders. Quit living in your fantasy land.

[curiousnorway]

Sex is what's between your legs. Gender/gender identity is what you identify yourself as.