Why do people always assume guys that can't get laid it's because of their bad attitude?

[Unorthodox91]

For example, me. I did not have a bad attitude when I was in sixth form a few years earlier or even after sixth form when I was still a virgin and started uni. I was optimistic about women, a feminist, etc., etc. Only when I was continually rejected by women and I saw their hypocrisy, e. g. "we don't date nice guys because they're not that nice" and then proceeds to date douchebags... only then did I slowly turn misogynistic, and now everyone is like, "well it's because of your attitude". Why don't these people tell that to all the positive guys that don't get laid, but they save it for the so-called misogynists?

[dartmaul15]

oh this again.

Quick biology lesson. When women look for a mate they biologically look for a protector. A strong guy able to protect them. So having emotions is a no-go, a weakness. Ofcorse girls will deny this until the day the die, but the problem is that it's been tested and is supported by empirc research.

Secondly, you're boring. You know what the so called "douchebags" got? Confidence! Charisma! A fucking life! And they stand their ground for themselves! Can you say the same? Those are all positive traits. And they don't see the douchebagerry because love does make blind (granted, not an excuse to pitty girls falling for the same honeypot over and over again).

The difference between a douchebag and the dream guy is often one trait out of many. Whilish a nice guy lacks several traits of the dream guy. You're nice, so what? He's whitty, stands for himself, SEEMS to be in control of his life, got a healthy social sircle, a hobby or three, you get it. So dude, know this, you're not good just because you're not bad!

Step up, better yourself, and damned be the rest of the world! Be a doer, not a complainer.

[Unorthodox91]

first thing, I don't see what this has to do with my question, because I asked, why people assume it's about the guys negative attitude, not why nice guys don't get laid. second, you're assuming things that aren't true: I'm not boring, I have hobbies, I have a life, and I am a doer, thank you.

[dartmaul15]

> I'm not boring, I have hobbies, I have a life, and I am a doer, thank you. Okay, i'll take your words for it. But my point was to go your own way, not following social demands of chasing girls. Live your life, stop worrying, and let them come around. Because if you are as sucessfull as you claim, they will. As for the relevancy of my post, i hoped you'd figure it out. Yes, it's a comment on why you didn't get the girl, it's a comment on what works and not. And i had hoped you'd figure why you got told off for the so called attitude. If you really are a misogynist as you claim due to what happened, then that means you hate or have a negative prejudice toards women. And the reason they tell it to the missogynists is because in that case they ARE right. And the reason they do not tell it to the positive guys is because those guys are not noticed by society. Also beause the label does not apply to them. yes, they could need some advice, but stopping to hate women is not one of them.

[Unorthodox91]

I don't chase women. I approach but I don't chase. Basically I'm doing everything that should theoretically work if we pay any attention to what society says but it doesn't. My misogyny is internalised. The women I know don't know about it. Only family say these things and people on the internet that's it.

[KeiranByrne]

I went through a similar experience, thinking I could rely on my liberal sympathies with women's issues and innate and genuine liking for women to be considered as boyfriend worthy. Fell flat.
The flaw is that by using this 'look how empathic I am!' approach we put ourselves into to friend zone. Automatically. Once there it impossible to get out.
When we try to move the dynamic into the romance zone it immediately raises the integrity question. 'He was trying to sneak his way into my pants from the very start.'
For some reason the female of the species applies a rigid classification system on us, fuckable or friendable, and never the two shall meet.
Better to be upfront about it and start with a clear romantic/sexual interest. Not a douchebag, just a straightforward, stand-up guy and not as a second rate 'player'.

Learn how to flirt. Critical social skill, one that took me ages to learn. One useful approach is to learn to spot when a girl is interested in you. When she's inviting you to approach her.
Web search for 'sex signals' or 'female sex signals' or variants thereof.

[Unorthodox91]

I state attraction directly, I never work my way to sex with a girl through friend zone. Even if I wanted to, I don't have any women as friends to do that with anyway.

[Anonymous]

Because most of the times it's true.

[Unorthodox91]

so what about guys that had a positive attitude, then they couldn't get laid so they became bitter and cynical. is the reason they can't get laid because of their attitude or something else?

[Opinion Owner]

That is not the sole reason no. There could be many reasons such as the guy being unattractive, clingy, came off too strong, came across as boring, lack of interests etc.

[Unorthodox91]

well for me personally, I know that I'm none of those things, so only thing I can assume - and this is from repeated experiences of rejection - is that women are essentially irrational.

[Opinion Owner]

So women's actions would be rational only if they were into having sex with you? Lol. Dude, I don't go around claiming that men who are not interested in me are irrational. That's an irrational claim on its own.

[Unorthodox91]

sure, I show enough signs of reproductive fitness that a rational woman should want to exercise social darwinism to it's fullest.

[Opinion Owner]

I actually laughed at the way you typed that. I commend you for that!