My boyfriend admitted he checked my browsing history, how to react?

[Anonymous]

Hello, today my boyfriend admitted that he checked my browsing history and found out that I'm watching porn and browsing on this forum, and saw my opened thread with a topic named something like "is he cheating on me?" And he asked if I'm really thinking that he's cheating on me, I told him that I just like reading this forum. Then I got mad at him about that fact, that he was checking my browsing history, so we had a talk about it, he looked that he really felt guilty about that and promised me not to do that anymore. He is very honest with me.
So should I forget it? Or you would be mad for that?

[samhradh_leannan]

Sometimes people get curious. Honestly, I don't believe that wondering what your partner gets up to when you're not around is always necessarily a sign that you don't trust them. Plus, the fact that he was honest with you about doing it counts for something.

However, it's not okay if your partner is spying on you, or keeping tabs on everything you say and do. That is clearly a red flag and a sign of mistrust.

[bang678]

Eh, forget it.

I don't know if its just because of how I am and how my relationship is but I snoop through my boyfriends stuff. He knows. I'm simply curious and being nosy, I'm not actually looking for anything. So if my boyfriend said the same to me, I'd understand and let it roll off my back.

[VeritechAce]

it really could be a sign that their relationship doesn't have the depth of connection that it should.

[bang678]

@VeritechAce Could mean anything

[Asker]

@VeritechAce We're trying to be as much honest as possible with each other, maybe there're some things I didn't want to tell him, like that I'm watching porn, browsing on this forum, I think everybody has some things they don't want their partners to know. But we're trying to work on these things, talk about problems, compromising. I told him that avoiding talking about problems will never make it any better

[Maypai]

He has no business searching my browsing history, though I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend did because there would be nothing for me to hide from him. I would say there are problems in this relationship but it lies else where. Why would you even think he's cheating on you?

[OlderAndWiser]

1. You can't forget it. Do you have a switch that erases your memory?

2. Do you want to break up over this? If not, forgive him and tell him that it will be a deal breaker if he does it again.

[Asker]

Yes, I told him it's a deal breaker for me and I will break up with him if he will keep doing this. He apologized me several times, I was very strict and serious talking to him about it, he seemed like realized that he made a mistake. But if he didn't learn this, how to respect my privacy, I will break up with him. I told him my own privacy is very important for me.

[dogbert444]

It's a real breach of trust. Snooping like that is not nice. I'd be as mad as f**k, but I'd probably forgive and forget eventually. I don't think it would be a deal breaker.

[Asker]

I've asked him if he doesn't trust me enough, he said, he checked my browsing history out of curiosity

[dogbert444]

Tell him, "Curiosity killed the Cat"! I can understand that he was curious. Opportunity to look was there, so he took it. Still not nice.

[Asker]

I know, I told him that it's not nice. He apologized and promised me not do that anymore. I told him that if he wants to lose me, he can keep doing it, he seemed like he felt really bad about that also. I was strict with him. It seems he realized about his mistake.

[dogbert444]

I think you should draw a line under it then. He seems to be sincere in his words.

[VeritechAce]

If it is as he says, just out of curiosity, maybe you're not being open enough with him. So... as long as we're being curious... have you ever (or would you ever) checked his browsing history?

[Asker]

Yes, he really seemed sincere about his words and was being honest with me. He could simply not to tell me about that. I told him it's shows lack of trust, which is one of major break up reasons. He seemed like he felt really bad about it and seems like he realized his mistake.

[NyomiMcClinton]

Your boyfriend was looking for signs that you were cheating on him. There is no way to sugarcoat it. Do you go through his way? If not, then he should trust you to not do the same to you. Sounds like he may be the one cheating but want to make it seem like its you

[VeritechAce]

You might be reading too much into it.

[MadeInAmerica]

Nowadays with the amount of time people are on the net I would think that is expected to happen at least once in a relationship.

[David14]

It's not that big of a deal, he probably was just bored and curious. It wasn't about trust issues or he wouldn't have told you. I would just let him know that you don't like him snooping through your stuff and that your sure he wouldn't either.

[JuicyBrain]

He had no business going through your stuff. I think you are right to be mad.

[SoWhAt249]

You're both to blame. First of all, you overreacted.
And his fault is not trusting you, but it must be something on your side that made him check your history. Or maybe he was just curious.
Just forget it and move on... Porn is not the thing to break a relationship over...

[ShortCircuit]

It doesn't matter if I would be mad if I were you, because I'm not you. Are you mad? Are you mad enough that it changes the way you feel about your BF? Are you so mad that you cannot overlook his mistake?

[MarkRet]

If he promises not to do it again, let him pass. If he does it again, he's got some insecurity issues, plus he's being rude browsing into your privacy.

[KBob93]

I'd brush it off as long as he doesn't do it again.

[podski111]

Lock yer stuff up... I hate that prying shit..

[Samantha2448]

Well do you actually think he's cheating on you?

[Asker]

No, I don't think he's cheating, it was just one of threads I was reading on this forum, I love reading threads on this forum.

[XuR_CXV_115]

I mean as for as he knows, you think he's cheating so he feels really guilty and you were on his ass about checking your history so he's kinda the victim in my eyes. He might leave you out of guilt or you could leave him, taking advice from what people say in this thread. But if you ever wanna search his phone don't, since you won't even let him look at your history.

[Avalon2]

Forgive and forget.

[SwolDishWasher]

Itd be funny if he read this too.

[Glen68]

that's a red flag that he doesn't trust you

[VeritechAce]

Or... that he has a reason not to trust her.

[jitty2334]

Forgive him

[overabundance]

Don't let him see your shit. If he wants to know everything tell him to get the hell out. Relationships are about trust and that man CLEARLY don't trust you!

[Anonymous]

I would ask why he checked it

[Asker]

I asked him why, he said he checked it out of curiosity. And we had a serious talk about it.

[Anonymous]

If anyone looked through my computer, I would lose it!! I don't care what kind of relationship it is, stuff like that is private and personal.
I would never check anyone's phone, computer, desk drawer, nothing like that and I don't understand why anyone would look through another person's stuff.
Even in the best relationships, some things need to be kept private.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, I wouldn't be mad for that.

[Anonymous]

What kind of person are you? Watching porn and you have a guy? All you can worry about is your browsing history. You women really know how to make us feel bad for shit like this but can't man up when you're caught. Third Wave at its finest.