What comes first: sexual attraction, physical attraction or emotional attraction (love)?

While I suppose it is possible to have emotional attraction before sexual attraction, it'd be quite rare. In most cases of this rarity, it'd mean interacting with them without seeing them. (I. e. You talk to someone for a year, never see their face or anything of em, and find you really like their personality... Eventually forming attraction from it.) Of course, the validity of this attraction is often called into question-- that's a whole other can of worms.

However, it also could be the case that one starts to imagine what the other looks like and forms sexual attraction from that. It gets iffy.

For some people also, they may say that fell in love with someone's personality and later started to appreciate the physical attributes of the person. I suppose this is totally possible, but again, I imagine this is a rare instance. One may also say the subsect of people, demisexuals, are an exception to sexual attraction coming first as well.

However, I think for most there is a small subconscious sexual attraction that happens at first sight. I believe it's just how the brain works. The sexual attraction is there, but it is then made up further via personality which can either seal the deal or repulse.

If it were a race, sexual attraction wins almost always-- it can happen in a matter of seconds, while emotional attraction/love takes anywhere from minutes to years. As many things in this world, it's not theoretically impossible to have emotional attraction before sexual attraction, but I suspect it's quite rare.

It's not very romantic thinking that sexual attraction is faster than emotional attraction, but I guess that's just how the world works

Is it possible to fall in love with a man in that way, if you are not sexually attracted to him/her?
1 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • These distinctions don't apply so well towards me. I just have sexual attraction as I see it.

    That said, I have developed sexual attraction often past first impressions, like when I first met a girl, I wasn't very attracted to her. Then after seeing her a few times more, I became sexually attracted.

    I consider that more owed to how I was able to pay attention to her more -- her mannerisms, get a closer look at her features, seeing her laugh, smile, how she gets upset, getting into more conversations with her, etc.

    Also there was once a girl I didn't find that sexually attractive originally but she teased and flirted with me in a way where she grinded her ass on my crotch and said she'd like to see me ride her from behind. After that I couldn't help but get that image of her in my head, and then I was very sexually attracted all of a sudden.

  • Depends how you first encounter a person. Being told about them, or seeing them yourself.. If you're repeatedly told about someone over a long time, their achievements, hobbies and what-not.. you'll probably feel emotionally attached after a while, without having seen them. But if you just look at someone, physical attraction obviously comes first.. because you don't yet know the person.

    Love is like a fine wine.. it's flavour deepens over time.

Most Helpful Girl

  • https://www.BBC.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/
    1. Lust
    2. Attraction
    3. Attachment

    • It's for women or human?

    • Humans in general.

    • But why do women say emotional attraction come first? They after 1 or 2 years LUST and physical attraction come?

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

2 4
  • Sexual and physical is the same thing to me. And that comes first for any relationship in person.

  • I believe it's physical attraction which can quickly lead to sexual attraction.

  • sexual attraction first naturally

  • At first Attraction then closeness and sex and at the end love

  • love comes first for me

    • So, every time when you see your opposite sex you feel love?

    • I don't feel love, i meant love is the most important for me. I guess i got your question wrong.

    • phsical attraction emotional attraction sexual attraction

    • Show All