I'm 23, in shape, and attractive. I'm always hot-n-ready, why does my husband still watch porn? NOW I'M PREGNANT AND THE PROBLEM IS WORSE. Help?

For starters: I am a 23 year old personal trainer and my husband is a 29 year old who manages gyms. I have dark brown curly hair and green eyes. My measurements are 38-24-38. I've spent most of my life being very insecure, but finally come to terms with the fact that I am indeed attractive. My husband is an all around great guy but the past 6-8 months things have been out of sorts. We used to have raging hot, regular sex. He'd constantly praise me and would do anything to make me happy. The past months his use of pornography have started to make our relationship take a turn. I'm now pregnant! Goodbye sexy bod and hello anxiety! :) We are happy about our pregnancy overall but because of some issues we're having, I'm concerned about the small window of time I won't be able to have sex/after baby body I'll have soon! We've been struggling with his porn problem for several months before my pregnancy. It's always the same. "Big tits", girl on girl, hypnosis, and various types of Hentai. All of which bother me because... I have a small-average chest... and I literally can't compete with a cartoon woman. I just don't understand why he watches it when I'm always so hot and ready for him. I've tried to be open and non-judgemental. I've even studied some of the things he likes and tried to please him. Especially his kink with hypnosis. I call him master, act sleepy, let him tell me when I can come, etc. Lately he's been hooked on this soft core hentai comic called skypenotized. Now our sex life is declining. I'm CRAZY horny. I want sex several times a day due to pregnancy. He insists on telling me he's stressed or too tired.. After a sexless week we finally have some adventurous whipped cream-69-fingers in my mouth-spanking kind of crazy sex! I felt desirable again. I thanked him for it! Only to find out he looked at porn just a little while before. Its starting to really destroy me. What do I do now? Is it because I'm pregnant? I'm not big at all yet...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Here is my take. I don't care how hot you are or how sexy. Men need variety and change. That is how we are hard wired. It is impossible for one woman to totally and 100% sexually satisfy any man. Why? Because we have many layers of sexual desire. It goes back to the primeval instinct to spread our genes and reproduce with as many women as possible to ensure survival of our species. I am sure you are very hot, attractive and sexy, buts lets be honest and realistic in that your husband probably finds a wide variety and spectrum to be sexy and a turn on too. Not every fantasy or sexual interest he has can be physically possible for you to satisfy him with in the bedroom. This is why he turns to porn. I love my wife, but I also love porn too. I love lesbian, threesome, tranny, extreme gaging blowjobs, crossdressing and so on. None of those are possible with my wife in the bedroom. I can't help what I like. I also cannot go without it. My wife is great, but I need something different once in a while. This doesn't mean I don't find her attractive. This doesn't mean I want to cheat. I just need a bit of variety sometimes. I am sure he feels the same way. We still need to respect your needs and maintain a good and healthy sex life. So, yes, too much porn can be a problem. We need to recognize when we are turning to porn too much and it may be an addiction. I am sure the pregnancy is causing some friction at this time. It is common for many men to view their partners differently when they are pregnant. Instead of seeing you as sexy person, they now you see you as a baby maker. No offence, but the sex interest is probably reduced due to that. Most men have no problem rebounding after the baby is born and some time has passed and has gotten use to the major life change of becoming a father.

    • what he said... now i don't have to type it !

    • @coachTanthony Thanks!

  • It is not your fault. it is how we are wired. Read this excellent take. It won't fully satisfy you but it should help.
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a5423-why-men-watch-porn

    • I'm a science loving kind of gal. I can understand this reasoning, but if your wife told you that you watching porn made her feel undesirable, unattractive, and was destroying her confidence... would you tell her "this is normal" ..."this is what men do"? ..."get over it" ? That's narcissistic and not fair to your wife and marriage... :/

    • I would never allow her to detect it and never take a cavalier attitude if I were somehow found out. We masturbate even is healthy relationships and our partners should not know about that either.

Most Helpful Girls

  • tell him he needs theraphy because of his porn addiction and you gotta grow up and stop complaining about how your body is gonna change due to pregnancy

    • Uh... insecurity about my body changing due to pregnancy isn't a lack of maturity... it's a perfectly normal problem. Especially since it's my first pregnancy :/ I've come to a point where I stopped blaming myself for his porn problem... I'm just having trouble getting him to face it. It's also generally upsetting to even think for half a second that my impregnated body isn't my husband's cup of tea. Regardless if that's true or not. I'm not even sure if I could get him to go to therapy at this point... he's sort of callous about the whole situation, which is part of why it's so off putting. :/

  • If it bothers you that much, tell him that. I think you should feel free to share your thoughts and your fears about it.

  • I'm beginning to disagree with porn lol
    It just causes so much problems in relationships

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  • These are ur pregnancy related mood swings.. to b not able to do het u wer really good at earlier.. now that u cnt do that way.. is actually bumming u out.. plus.. ur hubby is getting those pleasure from anime n other pornography.. so it's bums u out even more..

    Try n concentrate more on ur kid who is still in ur womb.. make the most of ur day for baby only.. try n shift ur focus from ur man to ur unborn baby.. ask ur hubby to pay attention to.. n do something for ur baby instead of jerking just like that...

    • It's not a mood swing. It's a problem we've had since before I got pregnant. Pregnancy is just making me feel worse about it... :/

    • Yea.. due to pregnancy only.. u feeling this way.. otherwise.. u were so good in this dont u?

    • Uh no... like I mentioned in my post. We had this problem long before my pregnancy. It just happens to be getting worse when I feel my worst... :/

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  • umm... i find that a good discussion tends to clear this up. your hormones are raging... just let him know. or even better.. he is your man... just get kinky with the shit.

    • That's the problem :/ we've talked about it over and over... and I've gotten more than kinky about it... I'd litterally enjoy being his sex slave, pretending to be a dolphin, or barking like a dog, if that's what he wanted! I've told him countless times I'm not turned off by anything... I just want to make him happy. Satisfying him gets me off. I dont care what it takes to get him there :( ... he just doesn't want to share it with me... it's easier to just find it on the computer...

    • This is the part where i go outside to satisfy my needs. Yea, people call it cheating... they can go fuck themselves. Why would i be exclusive with someone, then i want them, and they aren't there... what is the point then. I'll come back, but i have an itch they won't scratch, ima go somewhere else, scratch it, and be right back. Oh, and ima let em know too. Let em know why as well. I got two down votes... lol.. i didn't even say anything. I've made theories on relationships and the "Can't and Won't" theory is one of the most powerful. its not that your husband can't do it for you... he won't do it. so fuck him... find someone else who will satisfy you. just be sure to let him know.

    • "Can't and Won't" theory is one of the most powerful. its not that your husband can't do it for you... he won't do it. so fuck him... find someone else who will satisfy you. just be sure to let him know"... When I'm really upset I want more than anything to agree with this... but when you're married and expecting your first child you want to try and find a real solution :( it's hard to just walk away at that point... trust me, if we were just dating and I wasn't pregnant it would be easier :(

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  • Well he's definitely addicted to porn thats for sure. What a waste, tell him to get off his ass and fuck you I mean omg he doesn't understand how lucky he is!!! If he's worried about the baby there's plenty plenty of cushion there for impact absorbstion look it up. Of course there's going to be things that 3d women can't do that 2d women can. Its definitely not you oh he is such a waste on you (I really hope I said that right I think I confused myself).

    Put your foot down turn off the porn and he'll have to come to you. He has no idea how fucking lucky he is!!!

  • hey. don't worry about how you look or your body. of course you are beautiful. his porn addiction may actually be un related to you. i have read some men have trouble with intimacy and get off on porn. so firstly, its not you. its him. secondly you got a baby on the way so focus on that little guy or girl! and when the baby does come both of you will be busy and hopefully give him a lot more on his mind! so he won't have so much porn time. porn sucks and he should get bored of it sooner or later. anyway pray it works out sooner! tale care and do not stress out! it will all be okay! good luck!

  • I really don't know bc I would find you even hotter now preggo... haven't been blessed with the opportunity to get in some pregnant pussy but I've been told many times that pregnant pussy is amazingly great! Her box is warmer, wetter, & tighter when pregnant

  • If im honest i wouldn't try to give in.. literally force him to stòp watching porn and then his sex drive will have no output resulting in him wantinf to have sex with you.. that will work i promise

  • Is that u in the pic?
    Also pm or follow me, we will discuss there 😊

    • I am my own profile picture. Although I mostly wear big T shirts and yoga pants. :P

    • Ok can u follow my profile here :p

  • Let him fap he's not bothering nobody

  • Porn watching is fun. He got you pregnant and that is bad? Looks like porn worked. The only thing about porn is when we cum it takes us a day or two to recharge our sperm count. The Hentia watching is not healthy and you can call him out on that. Would you rather have him watch disgusting regular tv which is 1,00 times worse? By him some oil to mastubate to.

    How do you think us guys feel when we seen monster cocks banging gorgeous babes? Very few guys can go into the porn industry. The big boobs are just a fantasy. Guys with a lot of testosterone like women with big natural boobs, however, guys like most sizes as long as they are real.

    He is not taking your pregnancy well, however, just flat out tell him you want him to bang you before he watches porn or use heavy duty natural oils as lubes.

    • There was so much wrong in all of this it gave me a headache.

  • Because porn is an addiction. Several states have now labelled it a health crisis in the US, men can watch porn get realise without having to put in any effort. It causes an unhealthy problem but sadly because everyone older than 6 has access to the internet it is effecting more and more people causing then to be more and more sexualy perverse. Id recommend checking out the page "porn kills love" on Facebook.

  • He is asshole and useless, you are so much hunger and seems slowly going in frustration because of not enough fuck.

  • tell him to join nofap. I'm really sorry. just keep talking to him in a loving manner

  • Lol you remind me of my ex except she never wanted it. I don't know guys definitely feel like sex with the same girl over and over can get a little dull. Everyone has fantasies and I watch porn of stuff that gets me off but I don't know if I'd be okay doing it in person. Does it always have to be sex with you. Or are you okay with a reach around or blow job? Sometimes the need for performance can get tiring as well. Maybe he wants something different in terms of who's in charge. Ie if he's always in charge maybe you take charge. Think of porn as an aphrodisiac rather than a replacement. Keep trying new things. Don't make it so obvious you want sex all the time and do more subtle things