Why is it more comical/pathetic for a man to be lonely than a woman?

[Anonymous]

I'm a busy, successful man. I work two jobs, keep myself in shape, work on my house and travel often. I have many friends and I do have hobbies.

However my last girlfriend completely ghosted me after 9 months of dating with no warning. I knew I was annoying her over Christmas by texting/calling her too much. I was out of state and was the only person without a spouse/partner while visiting my family. I just felt inclined to talk to her more often than usual, but I had no idea I turned her off that bad. She deleted her FB account and never responded to any of my texts afterwards (which were few). A friend of mine said she just reactivated her FB account and I noticed she blocked me out.

I decided to go right back out on the market and started dating again. I didn't tell any of the girls I met what happened, but subconsciously I was very hurt/disappointed about how things turned out. I then ran into a string of shithead women (freeloaders, flakes). I noticed I was getting rejected quickly. I know women intuitively pick up on my bitterness/loneliness.

However I got in a long chat with two other long time women about their relationship issues. One of them was a long time friend who just got in divorce (her move) after 6 years of marriage. She tells me she has been balling her eyes out, says her ex is a "good man" but isn't attracted to him, etc. I gave her advice to let him down with gentle hands i. e. make it clear that its over but leave the door open to talk. I also told her not to assume that he is going to have just as an easy time finding a new gf/wife than she will finding a man. WAY too many women assume dating is the same way for guys as it is for them. Not true for a second.

Just hearing all the bs about "womens equality" yesterday got me angry.

I know the gut response is to call me a loner, creep, pussy, beta, sensitive... etc. But why do men get treated like this during these days of "equality". Women don't suffer from those stereotypes like men do.

[kaylaS91]

I've never thought that it was comical or pathetic for a guy to be lonely. Several of my really good male friends have never had a girlfriend or even their first kiss, too so...

I feel like the people who I see propagating such views (as in looking down on guys who lack a track record of several ex-girlfriends) is mostly other guys, usually complete meatheads to boot. I've only ever heard guys be talking about how to them, masculinity means a guy who can 'remain emotionally uninvolved and fuck as many girls as possible without getting any feelings'. So basically putting pride in how many girls they sleep with/date despite treating them like shit, and looking down on guys who choose not to engage in such primal behaviours.

[Asker]

I've slept with over 35 women but I'm getting at the point in my life I want something steady and meaningful. But if I share this desire it comes off as neediness to women and I get rejected fast

[kaylaS91]

.. okay it depends on how you go about sharing that you 'want something steady and meaningful'. Either way, I don't see anything in that little anecdote of your that would in any way lead someone to concluding that your being single is comical/pathetic in any way.

[Asker]

Most girls I've ran into enjoy the challenge of having a bad boy they can "tame".

[Poppykate]

Seriously, if I guy said this to me. I would be so happy. I don't want to be taming anyone thank you!

[Anonymous]

Women deal with different stereotypes. Bossy, fridgid, irrational, slutty, easy, airhead, bitchy, tease... these are all things we hear these towards women and not men.

[Asker]

yes they do have other stereotypes (but I haven't heard "slutty" in years) but they get so much more leeway to express their insecurities than men. If a man opens up he loses face.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes because like I said women and men both get it just in different area. Women are expected to be "emotional" many often site it on our periods or PMS when were upset. If we're bitchy it's cause we need to get laid... if we don't kiss a guy right away we are a prude. everyone gets it just in different ways, for different reasons.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, being emotional & insecurities was always looked at as weak... since women are generally seen as weak it's not an issue when they do it.

[Asker]

I would trade spots with you in a heartbeat.

[Opinion Owner]

the grass is always greener.

[Asker]

Please google "Nora Vincent" self made man. It's about lesbian woman who disguised herself as a man for 2 years. It completely changed her perspective on male advantage vs female advantage

[Opinion Owner]

I have read the book and I stick by my comment.

[Asker]

Well at least your read the book.

[Asker]

And the truth is I'm hurting very badly lately. This continual rejection is driving me crazy. However bring a man especially a man in his 30s I'm expected to be bullet proof.

[Opinion Owner]

Who expects you to be bulletproof? I find usually it is more of a projection from within and what people think other people think then what they really. Do You think more about you then anyone else does... most people don't notice even half of what you think they do... that little tid bit has helped me in life. You are generally your biggest critic.

[Asker]

If a woman brought past hurts of ex I might be more cautious of her but I won't outright reject her. I'm not afforded the same leniency the other way around.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm confused... when are you bringing up your ex's?

[Poppykate]

Hugs to you! 🤗🤗 Some women actually appreciate a good man!

[Asker]

Where are they? Lol

[NerdInDenial]

It's like the Matrix; you're escaping the system. Your job as a man is to support a woman and raise a family. If you don't do that, then you are an outsider.

[Asker]

Sorta true I guess. Truth is I'm ready to settle down at this point

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing you had to be the initiator in all of your relationships

[Asker]

Most of them. But not all

[Asker]

In fact the last two girls I dated had higher sex drives then me

[Opinion Owner]

I meant as in you had to make the first move and take the first step

[Asker]

Of course I always take the first god damn step (how else did I sleep with over 35 women lol). But every once in a while a girls makes it EASY for me. She responds, doesn't flake, forgives a mistake or two, etc. but that isn't happening anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

So most of these women were just casual sex?

[Opinion Owner]

As in, you also had to be the one to ask them out first

[Asker]

97% of the time I had to take initiative. But honorable expections including a random (but cute) girl jumping into my hostel bed in the middle of the night. Also had a random girl walk into my hotel room during a Hollywood pool party. Seriously what happened to these girls? Lol Truth is I'm not proud of casual sex. But when I try doing things the right way I fall into the depression I described above.

[Opinion Owner]

I meant more in a relationship sense as in the girls that you had as your girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Lies, no one is looked upon as poorly as the "crazy cat lady".

[Asker]

My 2nd to last ex is a "cat lady" and given she was nerdy "cute" plenty of guys still approached her