Why do I feel guilty after I masturbate?

[Anonymous]

every time I masturbate I feel guilty after I do it. I'm normally very horny so I masturbate a lot and it feels good while I'm going it, but after, I feel bad and guilty. I enjoy doing it, and have been experimenting a little more with my body. But I just feel like so bad for doing it? How can I stop feeling this way?

[Levin]

I think there's two possible scenarios. Or in fact, three; you can play with, so to speak :P

1. Some figure in your childhood told you it was wrong and shameful, society, parents, religion, the like.

2. Steiner talks about the unifying force on the body of the ego, and that the Laocoon statue is supposed to signify the loss of the ego with each separate body part writhing in its own direction and doing its own thing: upload.wikimedia.org/.../..._Inv1059-1064-1067.jpg

Maybe it would help instead if your masturbation was more focused, like you spent it really getting to know yourself and as a kind of self appreciation. the issue might arise where you do it to get away from things in your life or blunt feelings you don't want to go into? However, for me, I think the purpose of sex and masturbation is to show that life should be playful and joyous.

3. Maybe your masturbation is focused on the pure physicality of the object that you desire. Whereas, maybe it would help if you appreciated them on all levels (including physical), such as engaging your heart, in the whole thing? We have a problem in this culture, arguably, where sex becomes divorced from the higher faculties. Theoretically, if one was to act in unison, as I mentioned above, then the sexuality would be much more satisfying and long lasting? But these are some things I'm experimenting with myself, so I don't know.

[Decentguy]

you must be religious then.

[Asker]

I am but I'm very laid back about my religion. Like I don't let it control my life.

[Decentguy]

well it is controlling your life a little bit.

[Asker]

Well do you have any recommendations how I can be less guilty and ashamed of playing with myself? Cause it's honestly making me feel like a bad person.

[Decentguy]

dont think too much, it happens to me too before. some years ago. just realize that you do it for calming down your sexual hormones and there's nothing wrong in it. by the way do you always feel guilty when you masturbate alone? or have you tried doing sexting with a guy and then masturbate? and didn't feel guilty then? because its possible that you masturbate with your boyfriend or do sexting with your boyfriend then you won't feel guilty because you won't feel alone? maybe

[Asker]

I've only ever masturbated alone lol I don't have a boyfriend.

[Decentguy]

ahan, well then find a boyfriend. lol

[Asker]

You make it sound so easy 😂

[Decentguy]

haha i know its very hard to find the right person. but you can at least give it a try. or make any online friend with a guy, and do it with him, but dont do it with any guy, do it with a guy who you fully trust. because most guys are assholes these days, they blackmails and leak nudes of girls/women to blackmail them. so find a guy who you can fully trust

[Asker]

Ahaha okay. Lmao I'll be on a look out 😂 Thanks for the advice.

[Decentguy]

haha no prob. by the way you can start with the dating apps, such as, Tinder. etc

[Asker]

I was really hopping to stay clear from all dating apps tbh lol. But thanks

[Decentguy]

why is that?

[Asker]

Oh well, its gonna sound a bit silly but I've never actually dated or anything and people who are on dating apps generally are after something casual or mostly for sex (especially in my area). And I was talking to a guy online for a while and i did fall for him (the classic story) and he lets just say broke my heart and lied to me, so I don't really trust people from online...

[Decentguy]

ah okay. i can understand that, i also have lots of trust issues, and i dont also date very much. why dont you buy a vibrator and make your masturbation more enjoyable and orgasmic?

[Asker]

I guess I could, I've never really thought about it. Im not really sure how i would buy one or hide it, as my parents are pretty strict and have almost full control of my life lol. Like at the moment i am experimenting with a marker as a dildo (dw I'm making sure its all clean and sanitised) and that feels pretty good.

[Decentguy]

hmm, then im sure you will enjoy a vibrator much more and it will give you more intense orgasms.

[Asker]

Ahahaha yea. I can always think about it lol

[Decentguy]

haha yeah. why dont you buy it and keep it hidden under your bed or somewhere in your room where your parents will never know

[Asker]

i guess i could. i don't really know anything about them though, besides them vibrating 😂

[Decentguy]

hahahaha well you can use it in lots of ways. you may see "rabbit" vibrators and the Hitachi vibrator being sold for up to $100, you can pick up a simple battery powered vibrator for as little as $5 online and have it shipped discreetly to your home. Eventually, bring the vibrator down to your groin area and start running it over yourself and pay close attention to what feels best. In a way, you will now be teasing yourself with the vibrator. If you then want to increase the pleasure, you can start bringing the vibrator closer and closer to your clitoris. Many women report that direct contact with the vibrator on their clitoris is painful, so you may want hold it a little bit away from any sensitive areas. its honestly not that hard to use, lol

[Asker]

ahahaha, i didn't mean that i had no clue how to use them lol, im sure i could figure that out 😂 i was more going along the lines that there is so many different models and stuff like that, which i have no idea what they do cause some look so complex 😂 and they probably do kinda different things lol

[Decentguy]

oh that is not also a problem, i'll guide you on that
for starters, try this
ell.h-cdn.co/assets/15/03/980x490/vibrators.jpg

If you're new to the party-for-one game, It will provide clitoral stimulation without the intimidating
Not all vibes are all things to all people, but this one comes (pun intended) pretty close, and everyone gives it rave reviews. It can be a solo or couples vibe; it provides clitoral and G-spot stimulation; it's small enough "to use while you're grocery shopping," if you so desire; and it's hands free, so you can "read your erotica" while you use it.

[Decentguy]

or try these ones.
or try these ones. the white one has great reviews by women. the white one is very powerful
ell.h-cdn.co/.../nrm_1421266695-magic-wand.jpg
ell.h-cdn.co/.../gallery_nrm_1421266738-tiger.jpg

[Decentguy]

this is also a great one. some women said that this was really helpful and great in making them orgasmed
d3f650ayx9w00n.cloudfront.net/940/48452-10.jpg

[sweetlivy]

The rabbit gives me vaginal orgasms every time.

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[Decentguy]

No Prob

[sweetlivy]

You shouldn't feel guilty. It's simply you exploring your sexuality. Getting to know yourself "down there." It's perfectly normal. :) Personally I believe it would only be sinful if you do it while either fantasizing, watching porn, or simply out of lust. But you should do it in a way that would give your desire to God and He will allow you to feel those sensations without guilt. Just be sure to pray before you do it, and if you believe you've received insight and consent from God, then by all means. Just make sure you're doing it in a healthy way, whether it's simply to soothe a biological need/desire, cope with abstinence, or simply to experiment with yourself and increase your sexual health and stamina. Getting to know your body and how it works in that way is perfectly fine. Just don't do it for the wrong reasons. A lot of Christians misunderstand that it can only be sinful when done for the wrong reasons. We all have those desires, they're natural. How else are we going to get rid of them? I believe there should be nothing you feel guilty about... as long as you're engaging in the act for rightful reasons. Best wishes :) <3

[LastNightmare]

love this one babe

[zoes19]

I have a question you say it's sinful only if you do it while fantasizing, watching porn or out of lust right, but what if that's the only way you can feel the feeling of pleasure? I don't want to sin but I always end up either way.

[SomeGuy37]

Are you religious, and feeling guilt, because of that?

[Asker]

I am religious, but I'm very laid back about my religion. I know it is seen as a sin, but I don't try to let that bother me too much.

[SomeGuy37]

So what bothers you, and makes you feel so uncomfortable doing something that feels so natural, so normal, and feels so nice? I love being with a new girlfriend, and I ask her how she likes to play with herself, alone, so I can know what she likes to feel, so I can make her feel even BETTER things, with her!! Are you uncomfortable with your body, for some reason? You are alone, when you do play (sorry, I HATE the word 'Masturbation' because it just sounds so horrible, and has so many social stigmas associated with it!! I like playing, or 'diddling'!)?

[Asker]

I am self conscious about my body, even though I'm trying to be positive about it. And yea I'm always alone when I do it lol. Like I've never really thought about it being so natural and common, and I feel always weird and ashamed kinda because of it that I do it, even though I do know people do it. And I guess my friends would never admit they do it ( I never admit I do it too) (plus I don't know if they actually do do it) but they always make comments of how gross it is and how bad it is. I guess that's also why I feel ashamed and guilty of pleasuring myself. And I'm like just sick of feeling that way, like I want to be satisfied and not have that guilt hanging over my head lol.

[SomeGuy37]

Nobody wants to be the first in the group that actually admits that they LOVE it, and how they do it!! I've had past GFs admit that they were just PRAYING someone in their group would say they did it, and LOVED, so then they could all just relax, and finally KNOW, that they all had similar questions, feelings, and a little social embarrassment liking it so much, when most were told that 'Ladies don't do that' or it is 'wrong'!! Everyone is afraid to admit it, and have some apprehension, even today, that others might laugh, or make fun of them!! That is normal, but once you 'break the ice' she said, and everyone just relaxes, there is a lot more going on!! Especially in college. Just what three told me, so I'm thinking it is pretty accurate!

[Asker]

Ahaha thanks. I guess it's true. But I don't think I would ever tell anyone, especially my friends think I'm the most innocent out of the group 😂 Little do they know lol...

[SomeGuy37]

But what if you have the BEST things to share? What if you discovered some really great things to do, that they might not have imagined? You could be their 'HERO' bringing them the JOY they so long for!! :)

[Asker]

AHAHAHAHA maybe. But I kinda doubt it. My friends are not very sexual. Like we don't really talk about it or bring it up lol. We just kinda avoid talking about it in general really.

[Aces_high]

honestly I don't know if you would be able to. My girlfriend always felt really guilty/ ashamed after she did it and it might not help you but after we started dating I helped her to see it is nothing to be ashamed of.

I guess for you to feel better you just have to realize there is nothing bad about it and it is actually very healthy to do. Plus if you know what feels good for you it helps with future partners.

[hushnow]

I think we all feel a bit silly right after masturbation but that's alright. Maybe you feel ashamed but it's nothing to be ashamed over to be honest. Keep rubbing and try to stay in the moment afterwards

[GeorgeSp]

it's all about chemicals in our brains girl... after you masturbate you are low on that "happiness" hormone

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, it's normal to feel guilty after masturbating. I use to feel guilty when i was
age 13-18 for masturbating now but when i got older i could care less about it.

[Kurodo]

keep on doing it

[Asker]

I'll keep on doing it dw lol. It just makes me feel like a horrible person after

[AUTiger7222]

The reason you feel guilty about it is simple. Do you do it in secret? Anything done in secret to where you don't want anyone else to know about it is going to leave you with a guilty feeling. It has nothing to do with religion. It's just the way our brains are wired. If you were to do it and not try to hide it then you wouldn't feel guilty because you don't feel like you're doing anything wrong.

[SwolDishWasher]

Wait... what?

[AUTiger7222]

@SwolDishWasher If you do something you think it wrong you're going to try to do it in secret. Meaning do it and make sure no one else ever finds out about it. That is where the guilty feeling comes from.

[SwolDishWasher]

So whats the solution, that she does it in front of someone?

[AUTiger7222]

@SwolDishWasher The only solution I can come up with other than actually doing it in front of someone is to convince herself that there's nothing wrong with masturbation. If there's nothing wrong with it then she's not going to worry about getting caught doing it or not and if she's not worried about that then there's no guilty feeling. I'm speaking from personal experience here.

[SwolDishWasher]

She should message you for more advice.

[AUTiger7222]

@SwolDishWasher I wish she would. I'm always open to talking to people privately and hopefully offering up good advice.

[litty]

Do you think she does it in secret more out of guilt or that it makes every one else in the house uncomfortable to know where the masturbating hand has just been?

[AUTiger7222]

@litty Either way creates feelings of guilt. It's the way the brain works. Do something and don't want anyone to know about it, regardless of the reason or the thing you're doing, creates feelings of guilt. At least it does for most people. Some people seem to lack the ability to feel guilt.

[litty]

Then should one feel guilty for having sex with someone and not wanting to have their family be informed?

[Asker]

@litty of course I do it in secret. Would probably die of embarrassment or get punished if anyone found out lol.

[SwolDishWasher]

You need to message AUT so you dont have to do in secret OP.

[Asker]

@SwolDishWasher yea, but I'm not the type of person who is gonna talk or like show my experience to someone so that I don't feel lonely.

[litty]

Because it's more fun doing it with partners. Every time you masturbate is another moment of not seeking out another who'd love to pleasure you. Masturbating is selfish, and that's why it can be known as a guilty pleasure

[NQQSE]

What ideas do you have about masturbation?

You must have some framework in your head in which you did something wrong?

Also, orgasms release hormones for bonding. If there's no one with you to bond with, your body might literally feel cheated. It spent energy preparing you for mating, but then realises you haven't mated.

Regardless, the feelings should subside after a while.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

I have experienced this too but it was a long time ago and it went away on its own

[nomoreusernames]

It's because shit like endorphins aren't being pumped into your system since you have stopped masturbating

[SwolDishWasher]

I do too when i watch questionable porn

[Asker]

Lmao I don't even know what you get up to 😂

[SwolDishWasher]

Just the usual, shemale porn, bbw, bdsm. No im kidding. Im talking about that step sister shit. Its everywhere now.

[Asker]

Ahh okay lol

[SwolDishWasher]

Why didn't i get mho?

[Asker]

Don't be too jealous 😉

[SwolDishWasher]

Im not tho

[Asker]

Mhmm sure

[SwolDishWasher]

Lol i dont even know you.

[Asker]

Yea that's true lol I leave ya alone

[SwolDishWasher]

Thats your loss

[Asker]

Is it? Or is it your loss?

[SwolDishWasher]

I guess we'll never know.

[Asker]

Touché lol

[SwolDishWasher]

Haha im hood

[Asker]

Oh lol sorry I don't know the hood equivalent lol

[SwolDishWasher]

I meant good but hood actually works too. It means im a boss

[Asker]

Ohh lmao I need to shut up I'm just making this so awks and worse for myself 😂

[SwolDishWasher]

Yeah just message me already

[Asker]

Ahahaha maybe I will. Maybe not. But I tend not to make the first move lol

[SwolDishWasher]

Well okay then OP.

[NukeCanada]

It's called Post Coital Tristesse and involves low mood following orgasm. It's quite common. There's some argument that it can be treated with antidepressants, but unless it's emotionally crippling it hardly seems worth it.

[curiousbway]

i am about to masturbate in a bit, i live in that grey space between pleasure and guilt, it's me! i fail to understand why i feel so guilty afterwards.. lol, i make resolutions to myself that I'll stop.. but i don't!

[LastNightmare]

you are pretty new to this.

[knowitall98]

wow I'm thinking of you masturbating rn.. it made me cum

[Asker]

Um okay. Can I ask why lol

[knowitall98]

it's hot watching a girl masturbate until she reaches orgasm :D

[knowitall98]

maybe if we do it together we won't feel so guilty. I'm alone at home most of the time and most of the time I'll feel guilty too when I masturbate alone

[Asker]

Ahh okay lol.

[Asker]

Um I don't know. I think I'll just keep it as something between me for now lol

[knowitall98]

between me and you? ;)

[knowitall98]

our little secret

[Asker]

Nah I think I'll pass. I don't know what you expect but you ain't gonna get that with me lol

[knowitall98]

okay

[GeorgeSp]

@konwitall98 wow.. you must get a lot of pu$$y judging by the way you approach girls...

[knowitall98]

I will never get any pussy. virgin boy :D

[CT_CD]

Because girls aren't supposed to do that

[masterkamasutra]

are u religious? just dont care these things everyone do so.

[derpscarab]

I don't know why you'd feel guilty but if you can find the source, get rid of it.

[mamamia154]

dont worry