Me and my boyfriend disagree on abortion?

[Ashheart]

I thought I was pregnant and we took a test and It was negative.. he asked me would I have gotten rid of the baby if It was positive and I said yeah because it was literally just two weeks after conception if conception had occurred. He told me he would have left me if I'd done that... I'm extremely upset about this because I thought he loved me and to turn around and say he would have left me broke my heart I don't think I can look at him the same anymore... I've helped him so much and been there for him and loved him and for him to say that.. what if I had been pregnant and got rid of it without telling him and he found out.. hed have left me.. that's what keeps going through my mind right now and I'm really upset :/ I'm only 17 what did he expect me to say.. and he meant it when he said he'd leave me

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Neither of you are selfish. You both have your views on this topic for good reasons. Don't hold that against him. Part of becoming mature enough for a relationship is realizing that these types of disagreements happen and they're ok.

I mean what? If there's anything you can do to make him want to leave you then he doesn't love you enough? I think you know that's unreasonable.

It's good that he's told you that he would have such a big problem with it. Now you know. Do you think he told you that to ruin the relationship or maybe save it someday? Of course, he may have been annoyed but don't be heartbroken over that for long.

Just know it's a line of his and you shouldn't cross it. Every relationship has lines like that. Dating is about figuring out what they are and deciding which ones you are willing to live by. That's why nobody can have a relationship anymore. Because people want them without the lines that can't be crossed. But no one is that similar to you lol

[America1st]

This is one of the toughest subjects out there. It's a very emotional thing and people seem to be for it or against it. I'm against abortion, but I struggle with not allowing a woman to decide whats best for her. It is killing a human being from the moment of conception regardless of what some say. I've spoken with a number of women who had them when they were young and then regret having done so latter on. It's a tough issue. As far as your boyfriend, can he support you and the baby. Can he provide medical insurance. Can you? Does he have a decent job that has a future in it. You both would have been the cause of the baby. Whatever the two of you didn't do to prevent a baby during sex is equally both your faults unless one of you lied to the other. The only problem is that you, the girl, are the only person that is stuck with it. Find a guy that views abortion in a similar way you do. It'll be easier that way if you get pregnant.

[Nickels_Lounge]

You're a mother if life starts in you. You should take that as a blessing. There's barren women who wish they could have a baby and you just want to treat it like trash or like it's a mass.

I would leave any man that wanted me to abort.

However, if you truly loved him, you'd want your sex to be maximized with the celebration and fruits of a baby. You're fertile and have sex, then don't view babies as a side effect. Infertile people wish they could have a baby. How can you love somebody and want his seed to be useless in you?

Please, I'm not trying to judge you but I'm livid and irate. This bothers me. That's why I normally stay out of these questions but feel like my stance may have an impact on your views to hopefully change.

Maybe he feels used when you want to get rid of what he wants to create inside of you. In all honestly, if I ever lose my mind and say that to a man, I'd hope he stood up and slapped me in the face showing me that's unacceptable.

[xxmamichulaxx]

She's 17 , she's not ready for a child whether she loves him or not. I agree that abortion isn't usually right or moral, but I also dont think we should pop out kids just because were fertile and In love.

[Nickels_Lounge]

@xxmamichulaxx They have the power to refrain from intercourse and not use contraception. If she wasn't ready to have children, then she didn't show it. She had sex and having sex, there's a possibility of getting pregnant.

[xxmamichulaxx]

Very true , if she gets pregnant , the consequences are there and need to be dealt with. But definitely not plan to get pregnant at this young of an age.

[Nickels_Lounge]

@xxmamichulaxx She had sex so there must have been some planned possibility. People don't take the seriousness of sexual intercourse today. They want to cheat and use condoms or whatever.

[Ninjaturtles99]

My mother is infertile (I'm her only child) and she doesn't think other people who have abortions are bad people... If I ever had an abortion I know she would be supportive as I'm only 18 and am not ready for a baby yet. If someone is hating someone else for making their own decisions, they need to re-evaluate themselves

[Nickels_Lounge]

@Ninjaturtles99 By having sex, it shows you are ready for a baby.

[RowenaRavenclaw]

It's Your body over all other things. You decide. I agree with you though. And guys can't really have an opinion seeing how they don't have uteruses. The fact that he said he would've left you shows a lot about him and his personality. I'm sure it's a side of him you haven't seen yet and has left you... well, shocked. I think it's up to you now to decide for the future. What if next time you actually do get pregnant? What then? Do you have the abortion and suffer a heartbreak or keep the baby and suffer through it with a man who forced this upon you? If he really loved you for you then he would respect your opinion on this sort of thing. In the end it's not up to him at all, it's up to you to make the ultimate decision.

[bobbyxx]

yes you are just a pathetic immature little girl whos opinions is irrelevant, a but like you. Who the fuck are you to decide what us men can and can not have an opinion over. I say the same to you as i said to the other child, feminazis have brainwashed you well. Women also should not be allowed to abort, you are just selfish and self centred. The world does not revolve around what women want.

[RowenaRavenclaw]

I wasn't trying to offend you or anyone else. I'm just giving you my opinion which I am legally allowed to have. And seeing how you are trying to offend me by attacking me on a personal level I would just like to point out that you were technically a woman once. In the formation of the male fetus, one is actually created first as a female then is transformed into a male if the Y chromosome is present... which unfortunately for your case, is true. Secondly, I am not a feminist. Thirdly, the world does not revolve around women - yes - but if it weren't for a woman you wouldn't be here to argue this point with me. Therefore, please don't go around on Girls Ask Guys criticizing people when you are so ill informed yourself. I hope you can still have a nice day even after being shot down by a "pathetic little girl".

[KaseyRouqe]

I think this is a big topic and not everyone can agree to disagree in a friendly manner when It comes to abortion. You should really consider how important this is to you and if you think he respects your beliefs. Keep in mind that respect and trust are what holds a relationship together. If you guys can't respect each other's opinions and beliefs, it would be difficult to have a healthy relationship.

[powerwoman]

Honestly that's unfair of him-- this is your body. It isn't right for him to expect you to become a teen mother unwillingly.
Look, the fetus is half his. But your uterus, and your life, are both 100% yours.
I'd take some time for both you guys to cool off. Then, try to have a discussion with him about boundaries. He shouldn't threaten to leave you over this-- that's kind of emotionally manipulative, TBH.

[bobbyxx]

He should dump her and i saw the post you made about feminism. this just proves what an idiot feminazi you are, you are not interested in equal rights at all and neither is any feminazi. You only want equal rights when it suits you and just like all women you will do anything to avoid taking responsibility for your actions.

[sodaa_popp]

If he believes life begins at conception, then in his mind, having an abortion is the equivalent of baby murder. If you don't believe life (one independent of the mother's life) begins at conception, then it's a different conversation. Just incase you wanted that other perspective.

[fauchelevent]

Meh, in his mind, you would have murdered his child. He had a good reason to dump you for that. Personally, I wouldn't date someone who was pro-life so upon discovering we had such a huge disagreement in terms of our beliefs, I'd have to seriously re-consider the relationship. Buuuuut I don't think that he really did anything wrong, those are his beliefs and he's entitled to them.

[AleDeEurope]

Well, in his mind, you would have murdered his baby... that's a perfect reason to dump you.
You want him to put himself in your shoes, but you don't wanna put yourself in his shoes... stop being a hypocrite.

[slatyb]

Dump this guy. You have fundamental disagreements on important issues. And get on birth control.

[Nickels_Lounge]

Birth control is immoral too.

[Totally_A_Dude]

@nickels_lounge Wait What?

[Nickels_Lounge]

@Totally_A_Dude It's intentionally trying to prevent a baby. If somebody can't make a baby, they'd be infertile. It tells God you should decide, not Him.

[slatyb]

@Nickels_Lounge So maybe you should try letting God decide what you eat -- just sit around until some food lands in your mouth.

[Nickels_Lounge]

@slatyb If you use contraception, you're telling God you don't trust Him. Why not have sex and let it run its course? If a baby comes, so be it.

[slatyb]

@Nickels_Lounge If you put food in your mouth, you're telling God you don't trust him to feed you.

[Totally_A_Dude]

That makes as much sense as saying that not having sex is immoral, because your not letting God decide if you should have kids.

[Mostly_Mae]

Everyone has their opinion on abortion. Some people are really against it because they consider murder. I mean that would have been his child too. So He has a pretty good reason to dump you. But you both need to talk about it in my opinion, sort things out. Because you were so hurt this is always good to talk about it

[JustRollTheDice]

That's so wrong if him and your young so why should you have to out your life on hold for a baby

[bobbyxx]

Should have kept her legs crossed then.

[Ninjaturtles99]

It's your body. If you didn't want to have a baby at your age then that's your decision. He was wrong to say he'd leave you, but if that's what he wants then that's his decision... I hope you're okay though

[bobbyxx]

Another dumb child feminazi, he was in the right and she was in the wrong. I can't wait for trump and other world leaders to put a stop to this sense of entitlement women have these days.

[Ninjaturtles99]

@bobbyxx so she should've been forced to have the baby in your opinion? You're saying a child should be brought into the world through parents who didn't want it/weren't ready? As a child of a father who didn't want me, i know how hard it is to shake the feeling of being unwanted as I grew up with it... people should have control over their own bodies.

[Knight1]

I believe he could have conducted himself in a better manner. For him to say that he would have just straight up left you is an extremely dick move as us guys call it. Honestly I'm biased here, both, on the topic and in your favor but I would suggest taking a good look at your relationship and questioning whether or not you two both agree on vital topics that could jeopardize the future of your happiness.

[gabriel155]

Good decision for you.. but your boyfriend Is not on the right way my opinion..

[Deathraider]

It's your body and your choice. Nobody has the power to tell you what to with it. If he is like that then he is not for you.

[xBreezy]

'Oh it's your body and your choice even though it's his sperm he doesn't have a say in this but he'll still have to pay for child support no matter what oh and i am a fucking whiteknight' Fuck off you pussy

[xxmamichulaxx]

@xBreezy He is 15. I wouldn't expect him to have the best advice when it comes to pregnancy and abortion, lol

[Deathraider]

@xBreezy Her decision is to have an abortion. He does not choose what she can or cannot do. If he is forcing her then she is in a bad relationship a should leave.

[Chickengirl2001]

But does the baby have a choice?

[bobbyxx]

feminazis have really brainwashed your generation well haven't they. Someone send this child on a de radicalization programme at once.

[Deathraider]

@Chickengirl2001 is it consider as a person? Even if it was it does not have the right to override the women right of her body.

[Chickengirl2001]

Yes, after just 10 days the heart starts beating and it is alive. and yes it has been scientifically proven that abortions can actually cause intense pain to the baby when performed

[Deathraider]

@Chickengirl2001 we have to define what a person is. It's not one set date, but rather like a spectrum along a timeline. As I said before the fetus act like a parasite to the women body and it affects the women body. The women has a choice over what happens to her body.

[cutemz]

Abortion is wrong

[Soulife]

I think that you have all the right to be feel hurt. Jeez, even I would had felt bad. I think the really comes down to if you care more about his opinion or about your choice and your right to chose. (Okay I guess I'm gonna get some hate from pro-life people, so I remind you that I'm saying this as a pro-choice guy)

[Soulife]

Choose*

[Celestias]

No it's pro choice.

[Soulife]

@Celestias in fhe sentence "... your right to choose*" not chose

[Celestias]

Oh lol, sorry

[Arya_Christ]

at this age abortion would have been right decision..

[mrkdvsn]

Unwanted babies can always be given up for adoption, as some females are unable to conceive

[mT2359]

its your body agreed. its your final choice agreed. U r 17 agreed. not ready for a baby agreed... he gonna leave you if u were pregnant and had aborted agreed... just catch my drift lady...

[Nickels_Lounge]

When women rape men, did the man have a choice which woman got his sperm? No. But yet, you agree when it's a woman.

[mT2359]

coz their is a difference between getting pregnant even if a man is raped... which I believe is a little far fetched anyway... but just for discussion purpose... having a child is something that a woman has to go through... not a man... so I agree it's her final choice to not have a baby.

[Nickels_Lounge]

So when women rape men and the man wants to have baby aborted, it's not okay? Okay, so women can rape men and celebrate by forcing him to be a biological dad? Yeah, sexism.

[Nickels_Lounge]

If a woman agrees to have sex and it's consent, then both should have rights to their baby.

[Nickels_Lounge]

Yeah, rape a man and celebrate by forcing him to be a father. If it was other way around, you want the woman to choose. He ought to get to choose which woman or if he wants a woman at all to get his sperm, which he doesn't if raped. What about his rights? She violated them.

[mT2359]

ok... that is a different debate that can be discussed... don't think the question was talking about a boyfriend who was complaining of rape here. he wants the baby. but she don't. that is simple.

[Nickels_Lounge]

So then the victim decides to abort or keep is fair to you: male or female?

[Nickels_Lounge]

When you let her only decide, you're saying it's only her baby.

[mT2359]

the case at present may not be a case of a victim of sexism at all but that of a victim of circumstance. I am taking the asker on the words used in her question only and not to debate some bigger issue that you want to be discussed. you may purchase up a separate question on that... let's see what the G@Gers have to say. Not this question though.

[Nickels_Lounge]

Yes but as of now, I can only ask 2 questions per day and did so. I'll make sure the word gets out tomorrow though.

[mT2359]

that's a shame... let me send you a message... if that is ok with u. u may reply... if u think u dnt wanna reply it's fine with me. dnt beat itself about it. you hv a valid point which should be discussed.

[bobbyxx]

@Nickels_Lounge Well said, brilliant comments by you.

[Nickels_Lounge]

@bobbyxx My original comment? If not, which one? And thanks by the way.

[bobbyxx]

@Nickels_Lounge All of them

[userusername]

baby over boyfriend , his loss

[GARY-]

Your boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders 👍

[Roxyisfoxy]

You're both young and both unprepared to have a baby. I think it's really understandable that you would've wanted an abortion. I think it's not really fair of him to expect you to basically forget your dreams for motherhood, had you been pregnant. Like someone said earlier, it really comes down to how important it is to you that he would have respected your decision.

[Anonymous]

I think he is fucking right. You women think you are fucking God. Damn pussies. He deserves better and not your weak ass pussy. You fucking bitch.

you're not even worth it. Fucking feminists poisoned womens mind.