Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Why does my hook up only want oral - never full sex?

Background - met this guy on a hook up site. Great guy - lives close to me, wouldn't wanna date - pretty perfect friends with benefits situation... however we don't have P in V sex!

First meet - Pretty passionate, lots of kissing and touching. I get him down on the bed and eventually start to go down on him. Tells me it's good etc. then kiss a bit, he goes down on me and then we 69 at which point he comes in my mouth super fast. Says it felt amazing. Leaves as has to get to work and we fit in the meet as both so horny.

Second meet - we both loved the idea of me dressing as a naughty schoolgirl and him literally showing up, getting blown, coming on my face and going. It was my time of month so didn't mind at all - really turned me on as a fantasy fulfilled. He spanked me and it was very naughty - all good. Came pretty quickly again.

Third meet - We had talked ourself into a frenzy and hot mega horny so he came over for sex. Was here longer this time. I wore stockings and suspenders - full works. I love to dress up so fun for me. Went down on me, did me in both holes with a dildo whilst I sucked him. He made a brief comment of saying if he had sex with me now he could come in a second. Carried on with oral and dildo play and then he wanted to come over my ass and panties.

Now don't get me wrong here - I'm having a lot of fun with this guy, ticking off fantasies and I feel comfortable with him. We text a lot during the days as well and have become pretty friendly. He has made it clear he enjoys what I do... But why won't he have full sex with me?

- Premature ejaculation issues?
- Not all that attracted to me?
- Too rushed - needs longer or wants longer?
- Other?

Help would be much appreciated!
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well first of all. I would suggest that you and he reevaluate your whole situation. Why "hook-up" and allow someone that level of intimate access to your body without any foundation and devoid of any real love? Do you like to have your body be an object to someone else who could care less about you as a person? Secondly, he doesn't care to penetrate you because he is most likely into porn and has a very twisted and unnatural sense of sex. That and he probably doesn't want to become emotionally attached, further proving that you are not even a person to him and rather just a sex object for his pleasure. It is unavoidable for someone who is right in the head (not under the influence of porn) to have natural vaginal sex (which is beautiful) and not start to become attached and closer to the person of which you are having sex with. Penetrative natural vaginal sex has always been and always will be the most powerful physical form of expressing love to another person who is of the opposite sex. It creates powerful emotions and feelings. Again, I would not toy with this most powerful and special expression of love in any form until you are ready to truly love someone and until someone is ready to love and cherish you equally. I would also not tolerate (even in a relationship or marriage) unnatural sex acts which are demeaning.

    • Who gave you the right to judge? I'm into porn and I don't have a twisted view of sex. Stop telling me the things I do are unnatural. Keep this kind of stuff to your self please.

    • Well first of all, you are on here asking for people's opinion so guess what, I am going to give you my honest opinion no matter if you like it or not! If anyone should be keeping things to themselves, it is you and your sex life you are sharing with complete strangers on a website! Secondly, stop being so sensitive. People have to make judgements every day in order to understand things and give advise. Again, you came on here wanting opinions and advise and if you don't like certain viewpoints and cannot be open minded without getting your little feelings hurt and needing a "safe space" then don't come on here! I put a lot of effort to answer your question as honestly as I could and used some examples of things I have experienced or have seen others experience which have caused them problems or harm so I have it on good authority. If you know it all and don't see a problem with what you and him are doing, then by all means, keep it up and have fun. What are you doing on here?

  • Sounds like your both enjoying each other, Why rush? He is enjoying you so much he doesn't want to cum to quickly

    • Yeah there is no rush at all to have sex. I'm definitely enjoying what we are doing and find it such a turn on knowing how turned on he gets.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Haha why don't you just ask him when he's going to do it

    • Yeah I should do but I feel I have let him know, even during fooling around, that I want him inside me!

    • be direct 'when am I getting that inside me'

    • Thanks - I'll try that!

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 15

  • may prefer oral over penetration
    he may be wary of sex because the higher potential for STDs or pregnancy.

    • Hmmm yeah I know he loves the oral and I like to give. I find him being wary of sex strange if he's on a hook up site. Always play safe as well.

    • yeah it would make sense that if you are having indiscreet sex you'd be concerned about pregnancy and disease more than if you are in an exclusive relationship and those you may avoid vaginal sex

  • If he is also turned on by going down on you, he might just have a mutually enjoyable fetish. If he doesn't give you as much head as you give him, he's a weirdo. Toss him.

    • Yeah he makes sure I get as much pleasure - esp the 3rd meet.

  • Oh my, you got yourself a lesbian boyfriend.

    • I laughed so hard at this haha

  • PE or pregnancy concerns.

    Or STD risks I guess. What you're doing is lower risk on that.

    • Ah but we play safe so there's no issue there and I'm on the pill as well.

  • In fact some men have a tendency to ejaculate within 4 minutes of Intercourse, however it sounds like your partner has a fetish for sex toys and seems rather submissive. once again, it's just my opinion from provided information and I can only suggest you consider my reasoning.

    • Ah I never thought of him as submissive!

    • like I said, that's just my opinion. I'm anticipated to hear other answers

    • Me too - thank you

  • you could try asking him to

    • I have and he got over excited

  • lack of confidence, failure in sex and fear of showing weakness.

    • It's funny isn't it. He's incredibly handsome and wouldn't have trouble getting any woman I'm sure.

    • dont you girls laugh at him? what its useful to be handsome if you can't fuck a lady well. poor one.

  • he likes oral more than sex

  • You might want to suggest making plans to spend the night together. Maybe get a hotel room if it is difficult to get privacy for more than a short time at home. It is difficult to have good sex when things are rushed. He could have PE issues. He might need to cum and then rest for a while before being ready for P in V sex. I know that I can last a lot longer during sex if I have already ejaculated in the last few hours. It sounds like he is very attracted to you - especially with all the fantasy and role playing going on. The only other thing I can think of is that he is really worried about getting you pregnant. by the way, you could just drop a hint like "make sure you bring condoms".

  • Oral is way better

    • Really?

  • He's probably worried about taking your virginity.

    • I am 34 and not a virgin so that is definitely not it haha

  • premature ejaculation fear, maybe afraid he can't please you with it

    • Ina ll honesty this is what I'm leaning towards... he was checking he made me orgasm last time so maybe.

    • I have had a similar issues before, so that might be it

    • Thank you!

  • He doesn't want to run the risk of being trapped.
    Sex will make you emotionally connected to him and you will begin to "want more" from him.
    You could also trap him by getting yourself preggers where he then loses ALL his rights as a male.

    He's better safe than sorry.

    • But he knows I only want to hook up not have a relationship. I always insist on safe sex and am on pill so minimal pregnancy risk.

    • Paternity fraud is a major problem in western culture. Even if you say you only want to hook up, that is what they all say.

    • I never knew men considered this so much before a hook up. You learn something new every day!

    • Show All

  • premature ejaculation or micro penis. by the way what was the hookup site? ? is it free?

    • Def not a micro penis haha. It's called fab swingers and completely free - don't let the name put you off.

    • oh yeah fab swingers is not available in my country 😒😒 it's available in England, Canada, USA and Australia.

    • Aw sorry about that!

    • Show All

  • other maybe

    • Thanks

  • I think you have to talk with him about that

    • Yeah - just feels awkward haha

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