Submissives (in the BDSM community), can you describe your ideal aftercare?

Anonymous

After you finish a scene, what do you want during aftercare? I'm currently working on being a better dom, and want to surprise my sub with more efficient aftercare after a scene. Any advice?

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Most Helpful Girls

fauchelevent Master
+1 y
It's basically just me wanting to be pampered a little and treated really gently after being slapped around or treated badly for a little while, so I think ideally it'd be making me a bubble bath or something. A bubble bath then getting into bed with a big cup of tea so we can cuddle and I can have my hair stroked and feel super cared for and appreciated. I tend to feel a little spaced out if we do anything more serious in a scene so I don't necessarily wanna chat or have a big conversation so ideally, I guess, it'd just mostly be time spent in comfortable silence.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  I tried this idea of pampering him after a scene. He loved it! Thank you so much for your help.
Anonymous
+1 y
I don't like aftercare. Ruins it for me. I would prefer just being alone for a bit.
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masterkamasutra Guru
+1 y
let him to be relax.
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Seppelson Guru
+1 y
what is meant with finish a scene?
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- Asker
  +1 y
  A BDSM scene
- Seppelson
  +1 y
  like porn movie?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Do you know what BDSM is?
- Show All Show Less
- Seppelson
  +1 y
  yes of course and I am totally into it but I would never call sex a scene
- Asker
  +1 y
  The thing you're not getting is that BDSM is not just sex. I mean, it is stereotyped as kinky sex, but it's more emotional than that. It's a lifestyle. A BSDM scene is a pre-planned space where BDSM activities take place.
- Seppelson
  +1 y
  ok I never plan anything in my sex live and I wouldn't go so far to call this a lifestile. for me BDSM is just a different kind of having sex. it's not vanilla it's BDSM
- Asker
  +1 y
  My boyfriend and I practice the BDSM lifestyle. Scheduling a time to tie him up or paddle him is part of that. Most times, our scenes are quite rough and I want to get better at aftercare. Any advice?
- Seppelson
  +1 y
  my girlfriend makes ballbusting to me sometimes and stuff but I never planed it or call it a livestile. If I am horny she uses this to edge me or tease me. sorry I can't help you. I don't understand that lifestile thing. ask your boyfriend what he would like
- Asker
  +1 y
  Your girlfriend doesn't do aftercare? And I don't want to ask him because I want to surprise him.
- Seppelson
  +1 y
  not realy I don't even know what it is. maybe wie cuddle or kiss each other
- Asker
  +1 y
  Well then, you have never really participated in BDSM. Aftercare is the period of time after a scene in which partners attend to one another's physical, emotional and psychological needs. The type of aftercare should be discussed at the beginning of the scene. This is where all physical injuries are tended to and the time doms often praise their subs. Aftercare is just as important to BDSM as picking safe words, discussing limits, discussing the fantasy, and even the scene itself. This part of the experience is also functions as a ‘recalibration’ time to revert back to the normalcy of your relationship. This is also a time to discuss how the scene went, which means talking about the good and the bad so that it's clear you both understand each others needs and expectations during play. Typically, the dom will take care of their sub, but the care is still a two way street because doms can experience the same 'drop' as subs after an intense scene.
- Seppelson
  +1 y
  ok I don't do BDSM. I simply put a bit pain in ky sex live
- Asker
  +1 y
  So then you have no suggestions?
- Seppelson
  +1 y
  no sorry