Sexual Relationships
+1 y

An honest question about the value we all place on each other over just our body parts?

Ok everyone... I see some nonsensical questions on here daily ranging from "is a 12 foot penis big enough for her" to "will he like me if I forget to shave down there"? I came across a question today asking women "what its like to have boobs." Its all really very sad that everyone has to be so overly concerned and self conscience about every little facet of their sexual body parts. I find the female body in natural form (left alone as made) to be the most beautiful work of art found on this planet. Nothing else compares in visual beauty but I still try to place the highest importance on her as a person because its her I'm ultimately interested in or in love with. She as a person is even more beautiful. Yes, after getting to know and love each other, us both offering our opposite body parts for the pleasure of the other is an amazing gift but a body part has no emotional feelings and I can't talk to that body part.

So my series of questions I would like your thoughts on is the following... Would it not be more healthy to get to know someone of the opposite gender first? Shouldn't greater attention be paid to the person as who they are? It seems to me that sex with someone becomes so much better and their body so much more beautiful if there is a person in front of all of that to love first. Also, we seem to be so preoccupied with how each other's body parts (genitals) function during sex and if she squirts or if he can cum 2 gallons in one session, but have we considered the following? What differences in mental wiring between the male and female brain can bring strengths into a relationship/marriage and make a couple impervious to the world? Do we take the time to see the value in our differences in the way we function both mentally and emotionally to realize that both actually complement the weaknesses of the other with strengths and vice versa? Wouldn't it be better in the long run if as members of the opposite sex, we didn't view one another as "us vs. them"?
Updates:
+1 y
I appreciate the answers so far. You guys rock! There is no right or wrong answer because all input has value and may provide a view not yet thought of. I just want to try to facilitate a way in which we can all discuss these problems and help even one person. I believe life is wonderful and should be enjoyed. Its sad when people miss out on opportunities and experiences in life simply because culture and popularity dictate otherwise. It seems to me that our culture is so devoid of love.
3 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • Sexual attraction and curiosity about the opposite sex are natural things that I think our society has turned into something perverted. Other cultures have preserved the sanctity of sex and relationships, whereas our freedom may have had a couple of adverse effects on how we view those things. I agree 100% with paying attention to the person's actual personality; I think it would be a lot better than sleeping with a stranger. Emotion and passion, I feel, would add to the psychological part so it's not just the pleasure of the physical act. If you only loved them for their appearance you're setting yourself up for disappointment because looks fade and you have the potential to be stuck with someone you don't actually love for the rest of your life or end up on your own. I have seen a few couples that appear to be almost completely mentally and emotionally in sync with each other, and I find that they are usually happier than others. But still in couples where the partners are not in sync they can still find ways to complement each other with their differences. Contemporary society faces the growing problem of putting value on people because of their physical state rather than examining the person as a whole. Also I think people with friends both male and female tend to have a less us-vs.-them way of thinking; probably because they are allowed to see how we are not as different as society has told us we are.

    Sorry if I kind of rambled, I wanted to answer as many questions as I could 😅

  • I personally come across this stuff all the time. :V
    I don't let it get to me because I have the mentality of to each their own. I wouldn't spend my time asking such questions because I internally have never felt such things like that.
    I've always never cared for a person's looks. As I can find something visually pleasing to look at the visual aspect will never arouse me.
    Personally I need an emotional connection with a person to even physically respond in a sexual manner to anyone. It takes me ages to trust and be willing and ready to hop into bed with anyone but when I do its something I end up never regreting even if things end up not working out between myself and that person. It's meaningful and that's where I feel I never want anything less than something substantial.
    I realize others don't feel that way though. I respect their decision to be different and so long as they don't try to pester or involve me in it I have 100% no problem with them.
    It's my idea of you do you, I'll do me and we just won't do each other cause that in my view point would be chaos.

  • True that!!! I agree with you on what you said. Unfortunately, soooo many people think of sexual activities as the very first thing when liking someone. And yes, I definitely think its best to get to know the person first before getting involved with other things. Now for me its until marriage but for others it depends on them.
    And, I just find it nice to look at the differences between you and your partner to see how you complete each other. I think it can make a good impact on the relationship/marriage

Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm guessing the average age here is about 20. So, what do you really expect? LOL

    The easy access to porn from any of their many electronic devices is creating a generation of completely lost and confused young people. And hence we get all the stupid and weird questions. I just don't see it getting better - they actually think it's okay and good to become porn addicts.

    • You don't sound so bad afterall

    • @Ladyslipper - all bark and no bite. LOL Like my profile says, a lifetime of experience and knowledge on relationships, sex, and love. I sound gruff and abrupt cuz I don't sugar-coat the truth. Some just cannot handle that - they're just looking for validation. I really do want the best for people, and I try my best to warn them off of destructive behaviors. A lot of what gets tossed out is for shock value. Hopefully it's a wake-up call for some.

    • On update... It seems the current trend is devoid of passion as well. So many young people not sure if someone likes them, not sure about their relationship, they're bored, or lonely, or destructive. Just so much 'meh'. You cannot negotiate passion or desire. There should be a SHIT-TON in the beginning cuz once that NRE wears off there better be something left to hold it together, keep it interesting and engaged.

  • finding your perfect companion isn't as easy as you think cause no one is exactly as you want them to be and also my generation isn't the only generation addicted to porn or sex so stop acting like just because you're older you're more sexually mature

    • and them imperfections make people wonder if they're good enough for their partner or if their partner is good enough to be with

    • a good example is the idea of natural selection

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 1

  • I completely agree with you. But I also do think a lot of people on here ask those questions to try and wank off 😂 But I do understand where you're coming from. It is so much easier and better to actually get to know a person's personality first before objectifying them so to speak.

  • That true. People are more concerned with sexual compatibility before personality. As a result , the opposite sexes tend to fashion themselves to this mentality, by becoming overly concerned with looks, genitals and the ability to pls partners. I still believe that Love has the ability to trample all these. With genuine love , everything else would flow ; Patience to teach partner who is unknowledgabke in sex, seeing beauty in their personality and actions instead of a raw piece of meat.

  • Yeah... that isn't ever gonna happen on a site like this.

    www.yesterdazelolz.com/.../h5864155E1.jpg

    • dammit. Meme fail

  • There's a lot wrong with society and you see a lot of it on this site. I'm more offended by the fact guys seem to think I wanna see their tiny junk all day every day than anything else. Eurgh. I don't see the opposite sex as us and them. I grew up with two brothers and really get on with guys. That said I haven't had much luck in romance so maybe I'm destined to be a friend and nothing more. Hey ho. There's more to life than a relationship and sex anyway.

  • This is all so true

  • Welcome to the new generation...

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