My boyfriend degrades me in bed and I absolutely love it! Is that normal or am I messed up?

A little info on myself: I am Vietnamese American. I am short with no breasts (literally completely flat), no hips, no butt (also completely flat), and a typical SW Asian look (dark hair, eyes, etc). For the record I hate my body. In school i was teased for being flat chested and looking much younger than I am. I hid my lack of a figure as well as I could and always wore padded/water/stuffed bras. It is a very deep seeded embarrassment for me. My boyfriend is amazing and he is soft spoken, very sweet, and gentle... until its bedroom time. He suddenly is very mean and verbally abusive. The first time we had sex he made me take off my clothes, stand in front of a large mirror, and tell him what I dislike about my body. He told me my face looked like a 14 year old and my body looked like a 12 year old and asked me how I was going to make it up to him. He said plain girls had to work harder than pretty ones with full figures. He then pushed me face first into the bed and had sex with me. The whole time he complained about how he couldn't grab on to my chest or butt. I WAS COMPLETELY HUMILIATED. He said things that are very embarrassing to me. The strange thing is I LOVE IT! I honestly get so turned on when he makes fun of me I can't control myself. It makes me so wet. The last time we had sex he made me look at a picture of a woman with a fantastic body that was wearing the same lingerie I was wearing. He made me apologize for not filling it out like her. I promise you I have never had such an intense orgasm before. I don't know anyone else who likes this. Is it normal? Am I just psychologically damaged?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • No, you're not psychologically damaged. It's a pretty normal turn-on for many women. A lot of people will say you're mentally insane and have 'daddy issues' simply because this sexual dynamic deviates from the norm where men were the chasers and women were fucked like helpless china dolls but- don't take such thoughtless judgement to heart.

    You'd be surprised by how many women (and men) are into dominance/submission and know it's a perfectly healthy dynamic that works for a surprising number of couples in the real world.

  • if you are into it, that's all that matters. I know of many relationships where the GUY enjoys getting humiliated by the girl. I think its just your typical dom/sub relationship. As long as he isn't harming you and you continue to enjoy it, who is anyone to judge.

  • I'd be more concerned about the fact that you haven't mentioned him that you like it, yet he started doing that anyway.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think you are fine, and the fact that someone else (your boyfriend) is verifying how you feel about yourself, which is turning you on. Maybe you need that rough, kind of abusive, loving.
    Believe me when I say we all have a kink of some kind, and that is OK.
    And I would not be so hard on yourself for how your body is. Some men like skinny petite women like you.

  • If you both enjoy the game, and he keeps it in the bedroom, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

    "Normal's" a loaded word when it comes to sex. Many people get off on being humiliated in the bedroom.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • That is pretty extreme i'll be honest! I think there's some phychological stuff goin on from your past but if you get off from the situation come sex time, then just roll with it i guess!

  • You're fine. A LOT of people get off on humiliation. So long as you enjoy it, it's absolutely nothing to worry about.

  • It's just a sexual kink.

  • its quite normal, lots of girls like to be controlled and dominated

  • How do you feel afterwards? Do you have a come down where you feel guilty and ashamed or are you just looking forward to the next time?

  • i guess it´s just a fetish xD if everything is fine for you, then why bother thinking about it :P just enjoy.

  • It's not normal however if you enjoy it nothing better then this..

  • that's awesome

  • totally normal. google bdsm. u are probably sub & dev

  • maybe you just like the fact that he's upfront about you and your insecurities putting it out in the open and still wants you which comforts you in a way. instead of you wondering what he thinks of you

  • It's a butbscrewed up

  • i like that sometimes

  • Your boyfriend sounds like a creep. he emphasizes that you have the body of a 12 year old child , while he's turned on by it. he sounds like he has a kiddy and a humiliation fetish. gross

  • You are lying

    Women like nice guys

    Anyone who denies it is a misogynist

    • You filthy regressive progressive.

    • @BurningRubbber19 Can I have sex with your girlfriend while you watch?