Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Did I waste my virginity?

So i really liked this guy and we dated for a little while, he wasn't ready for a new relationship since he just got out of a long one. So now we're just friends. I went out with him two weeks ago, we got really drunk and ended up having sex. It was my first time and he knew that. He was somewhat sweet to me which i liked. The next day we had sex again and that was alright. But the same day he told me well at least you've gotten rid of your virginity and you can start living. I was like uhm ok? And didn't really respond to it. I'm not the kind of girl who is that easy with guys since i mostly get hurt. He ended up hurting my feelings a couple of times now but i still keep on saying we're just friends. Even my friends say he is a little weird and acting strange. Now he tries to hook me up with a friend of his saying i need to let loose a little. So i started joking a bit saying it's like tinder but through your phone, i will let you know when you've matches on my phone. To which he responded saying that he already has more than enough girl especially after posting a shirtless pic online. I feel like i wasted my virginity, i waited 21 years to find someone who would have respecf for me and like me. And i thought he did, i'm just really confused and hurt..
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You indeed just wasted losing your virginity with someone who wasn't truly special to you at all. But there's really nothing you can do about it, you already did it. In my own view about losing your virginity, it is better to patiently wait till you feel like its really the right time to do it depending how much time you're with the SO and how close you are. (Not that Im saying wait to have sex after marriage) Im trying to say that its best to have sex with the person when you two really commit in the relationship, you're officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Its about having the full trust with the SO and both of you feeling truly special with each other. Rushing to sex already but not fully committing the way I see it, are red flags and that the "SO" may just be using you for lustful pleasure or just show off to his or her friends that he or she already got laid.
    You should be more careful whoever you're with next time, and if you do find someone else you get very close, you should talk to them deeply and ask how much he or she truly feels for you and trust. Also be aware that there could be S man you meet who could feel really hurt/insecure if you tell him that you had sex feeling drunk. Some men can be really bothered if a girl they're dating already had sex. But lets hope that whoever you meet and get along very well and truly feel special and trust him, won't really care about your past at all

  • Sounds like you waited 21 years, but didn't wait long enough to really get to know this guy. Seems to me like you were just another conquest. Another notch on his bedpost.

    Sorry, but I think you have wasted it. Take heart, though. You aren't the first, and certainly won't be the last.

    • The thing is we dates for 2 months, talked every day about everything and we met both eachother parents and i met a lot of his friends.. so it wasn't like i didn't know him at all

    • Thanks for MHG!

Most Helpful Girls

  • sweetheart you did waste your virginity on a jerk who tricked you. he lied to you because he's what you call a virgin Hunter, they only go after girls who are still virgins so they can add you to the list of Virginities they took. you should have waited to Marriage to have sex because that's how girls like you get fooled. that is why you wait. to protect you from wolves like him. I know it must have make you feel like crap, but you seriously lost out. stay away from somebody like him and get rid of him. next time you decide to have sex you wait until you get married I don't care how long you got to wait. now you have to go get tested at the OBGYN. because you have no idea what got him he could have gave you and get yourself tested for pregnancy. because jerks like him don't give a damn how they got to use you to get into bed and that's exactly what he did.

    • We did have sex savely, and i'm not pregnant thank god!

    • There is no such thing as safe sex except when you get married. Your heart, emotions and body is not protected. STDs can still go through condoms and if you are on birth control, it can lower your immune system, making you twice as susceptible to get infected.

    • I didn't know that..

    • Show All

  • He pretty much thinks now that you're no longer a virgin you can start slutting around. He's actually setting you up guys you can sleep with which I find kind of disgusting. That tells me he really just thought of you as another girl he slept with. He sounds super egotistical and self-centered. Don't feel bad, most girls go through that experience. They sleep with a guy expecting he would return feelings or be in a relationship but it's the opposite. Advice is get to know the guy first... make sure you are comfortable. Don't let any guy pressure you into sleeping with him because they are the ones that get the satisfaction of it, not you.

    • The thing is we actually dated for 2 months, we met both each other parents and i met quite a lot of friends! So it's not like i didn't know him, but it's just weird that he would take it that far just for sex

    • Ah I see, some guys still are just aholes regardless of how long you know them or who their parents or friends are. Maturity comes with years and even then it still isn't for sure. He was just one of those guys who clearly just wanted sex and didn't care about your feelings. They make you fall for them just to have sex and then bounce. It's happened to me and you just learn to be sure next time and put the guy through some tests first to make sure he'll be there long term.

    • Yesss you're right

  • I'm sorry but this was a bad decision. But it happened and you just need to move on. This guy is a total tool and is no friend. Guys like being a girls first time and just sleeping around. It's something he can be proud of... know your worth and stop talking to him. I guarantee you if you do that he will come crawling back and it'll be your turn to reject him

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 18

  • So then you've been waiting to have sex since the day you were born, eh? I had no idea newborn babies had sex on their minds. I sure didn't. You didn't lose anything. You gained some valuable experience. Keep going (with some other guy!) and you'll get more experience. And at no time will you ever lose anything. :)

  • I'm pretty sure we all pretty much wasted it. I did.

  • Did you waste your virginity? I don't know, but I bet your fella tried his hardest to waste it along with your hole.

    • Some men are cruel. I am sorry for that fact. But women like you are extremely strong and you can take anything bad that's thrown at you. Looking at your picture tells me one thing about you. Your extremely beautiful and it's only a matter of time before Love lands on your doorstep.

    • Thankyou😊

    • You should be thanking God for your beauty. I am just relaying the fact of it.

  • Sorry this happened to you, but yes, you did, just like loads of other girls who were saving it and then gave it up because they thought they had something special with a guy.

    Everyone makes mistakes, and though this may have lasting effects in your dating relationships (since you now have a sexual past that guys will have to be OK with), you should just view it as a mistake, learn from it, and move forward. Best wishes

  • yep.

  • Yeah but lesson learnt. Don't get drunk with guys and this guys a real prick. Why still have him around?

    • Because i care about him, and i also think it has to do with the fact that a couple of first times were with him

    • How doesn't care about you. treats you like shit. Have some self respect. You don't need people like that, it does nothing good for you.

    • Yeah i guess you're right

    • Show All

  • Your virginity is not something you can waste. But yeah, he doesn't sound like the guy you were hoping for, next time don't choose the guy based on his sixpack abs.

    • Your virginity is definitely something you can waste

    • @TwilightSparkle3 Nope, it's an imaginary concept. Sex remains fun after the first time. You can only waste it if you believe you can waste it.

    • So being raped means she was having fun?

  • Next time make better decisions and really think about what you're doing and the consequences

  • He doesn't really want u long term but he does have respect. Like u said it was ok. U could have lost it to a complete ugly jerk who kinda raped u while u were drunk. So it wasn't the worst way I guess.
    It seems like this guy doesn't really know u. He thinks u wanted to get rid of it and that u will start hooking up with multiple guys now but it's easy to interpret by your writing that u aren't like that. In this case yeah u wasted it

  • virginity is nothing to be worried about. in my opinion. there's no such thing as wasting it. you just lost it

  • people still act as if virginity is some kind of commodity. it's not something you can waste as it has no value to begin with.. he is just a dick.

  • XD i can´t even grasp the concept of "wasint something you have not done" xD it makes no sense. how can you waste not having had sex before?

    • More like you will remember this for the rest of your life and i wantes to look back on it feeling like i made the right decision, even though i wouldn't be with the guy anymore i still would like to look back at it and feel like i didn't waste it

    • you will remember every sexual partner you had anyway :D the first try isn´t exactly the best to remember for most people. you should rather be happy about the experience you gained. don´t see it as a waste. you´re just not going to end up staying with him. so what?

    • Yeah you're right

  • Remain a pure heart.

  • Sorry but that was a little stupid way of losing your virginity, after you have been waiting so long :/ it would be better not to get loose and care about your sexual life better than most girls. Nevermind, what happened, happened, alcohol is a bitch, you are pretty much good with only one sexual parther in 21 and I wish you good luck in finding an appropriate one :)

  • Virginity is a state of mind

  • Should've given it to me

  • yes, you did-this is one of the many issues of premarital sex

    • For those who disagree with me-this girl got off easy.

  • dont take seriously virginity is made for break.

  • Sorry, but yes.

  • sorry to hear this. he a jerk. nothing more you can say

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