Sexual Relationships
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Guys, My boyfriend is boring in bed (i'm sexually frustrated), anything I can do?

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now, i love him, he loves me, we have a great time together but he is so boring and conservative in bed. I, on the other hand am much more adventurous.
I would like him to go down on me more, do spontaneous things and try anal, i love anal. At the start of our relationship we had a talk where i told him i have very hard time orgasming without stimulating my clit with a vibrator and i told him that in fact the only time i have been able to orgasm without using the vibrator was doing anal. During the conversation he also mentioned something like "i'm not really into anal, why put it there if you have a pussy to fuck" plus also told a story of how scary it was when some girl once tried to stick her finger up his butt.
It's a rare occasion if he goes down on me and even if he does it's just for a minute or two. We always end up having sex with me on top because he can't cum in another pose, which i don't blame him for because it really feels 100x better with me being on top. He often tries being on top but it just doesn't feel good so we still end up switching to "our" position.
When i asked him about his sexual past, he told me that there's quite a list of women he has slept with but the "experience" doesn't reflect in bed and he doesn't suggest to try anything new. I have suggested him several times that i'd like to do something different and new but it's still the same old.. It's just disappointing because everything else between us is so good, i think he thinks our sex life is good too but i'm just craving for something more, something exciting. Oh and also to mention we do have sex several times a week.
Guys, please give me some advice. How could i approach this subject without making him feel insecure about him not satisfying me enough? Should i even ask him to try anal with me after all these comments? Should i lick him "down there" while giving him a blowjob? Are we just too different in our sexual desires?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I was never a fan of anal until my current girl. Mostly because girls before her didn't like it. She loves it and orgasms from it, so it does turn me on with her. Or could with girls like her who are into anal. Maybe once he sees this he will be more into it. Also, you have sex several times a week. So not that the overall sex is lacking, you just have really high expectations. Maybe bring a vibrator into bed and use it during sex. I do that a lot and it's maybe more of the win win you both are looking for. But remember, if you're bored you're boring, so he likely feels the same way... takes two to tango and blaming one side or the other never helps. He could be complaining about you just as easily

  • You need to very specifically tell him that you want it like that. Apply to his male ego; tell him you want him to do unspeakable things to you. Make sure you're naked for him by now. Twerk a little if you can, lick your lips and tell him that he makes you wet. You need to act like you really need it; you have to beg for it. His morals should crumble if you beg for him to do these things to you, and be specific. You need to act like a game of thrones whore if you want to convince him. Make sure you make him feel like he's the only one who can satisfy you!

    • But how can i relax myself if it feels that it's not something he's actually into? You can't just make a guy fu*k your butt if it's disgusting for him for some reason and then enjoy it, can i? Or do you think he actually might want it despite his little comments about the butt stuff?

    • Ok I don't know how much of the details I want so I won't ask. However, I have yet to meet a guy who doesn't find anal hot, so unless he's an extremely rare exception, seducing him should work. You need to make him want to grab you and fuck you hard. Speaking from the opposite side of things, my ex girlfriend was totally turned on when I threw her over my knee, but when I started to touch her anus she freaked out and wouldn't have it. But when I played the "You've been a bad girl. Over my knee now. You're so sexy, God your ass is amazing" etc etc., she was totally fine with it and even asked for it a second time. It should work in reverse if you alter the methods to better play to his male ego.

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What Guys Said

(7)

  • I honestly have no idea. It just never occurred to me that any guy anywhere in the world would dislike anal.

    My best guess is to ask his permission to use a butt plug while he has sex with you. That's a step in the right direction. If you like it and it shows, he should want to put his dick in it. Or maybe watch some anal porn together? Though, I say that, but he should want to put his dick in it now, so I could be completely wrong. It sounds like he's just not very sexual anyway.

  • Get some side dick or talking into a mmf threesom

  • I'd say you should be completely honest with him about your sexual frustrations and your need for sexual exploration. if he doesn't respond and attempt to meet your needs I would either open the relationship or end it.

  • why not just break up?

    • Because that's literally the only issue in our relationship and i'm the one having an issue with it. Why just give up immideately? Still waiting on real advice here :)

    • this is not an easy topic you just gotta talk about it..

  • change the dick.

  • honesty is important and can make or break a realationship. so be honest with him tell him how you feel. us guys sre not mind readers and as i always say if us guys or girls dont know what the problem is or how yoy feel we can't fix it or come to a comprimise cause a relationship is 50/50 give an take

    • what should i say? I'm also scared because it makes me feel like i'm some sexual freak

  • maybe try 69 more, and then tell him you want to experiment, look up a bunch of really weird positions and try them out. tell him you love it when he eats you out. maybe when he gets comfortable ask him to eat your ass, not just your pussy. that might make him more comfortable

    • it's supposed to be fun, so just ask him what strange things he wants and see if he will give you a few in return?

    • should i really ask him to eat out my ass when he doesn't even look comfortable doing it to my pussy?

    • if you would enjoy it yes, just make sure you're very clean. and that's why 69 is so important because it's an easy starting point for someone who doesn't like giving as much as receiving

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