Sexual Relationships
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How do I handle a guy with a high body count?

Both myself and the guy I currently talk to is 22. We was talking about our sexual past and he told me that he use to be a player. I told him that I am a virgin and I actually never date anyone before due to that I felt like it wasn't the right time. And it wouldn't be fair until I can get my shit together. Him on the other hand, ALWAYS talks about "well if I had my past mentality" blah blah blah! He said that he had a body count of 18 girls. Which he dated 2 of them and then the others was just he played them to get some. Others might not think that is high, but that is high to me. Especially since I am a virgin! I don't know how to handle that. Now he claims he put that behind him and want to settle down now.. Like the saying that "bad guys in the end settle with a good girl." First off I don't think that is fair. Plus I am more than happy that we are in the talking stage because I don't know how to deal with all of that. Now when I feel some type of way I let him know. Because at times, he is very selfish. At first he would listen to me talk but never hear it but talk about his self all the time. or compare what I say to himself.. I thought that was annoying. HELP ME PLEASE. I don't know whether or not I was to cut him off or try to build with this man.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • As an ex-player, and depending on how good he is, there are a lot of possibilities. All i can say is watch the signs. If the conversation always seems to go sexual, there is a high chance he's trying to add one more to that body count. Virgins are double points for players lol.
    He always says if he has his "past" mentality, is the real reason why im very skeptical about his intentions. the player mentality never leaves. he's talking about it like its gone... it never leaves, you just don't use it all the time. but when trying to get with a girl after exposing that you were a player, its a good line to move things along. If you weren't a virgin, i'd say have sex with him right now and see if anything changes.
    But now you gotta watch his actions, most players that have quit for good don't tend to talk too much about sex and don't constantly get all touchy feely... they've lived all that shit. i said most. not all. so if he is all touchy feely and conversations drag into being sexual almost all the time... chances are.. that body count is about to increase. but that call is up to you to make.

  • based on what you said, this seems to be an unfair stuff, the mental state of a person who used to be a playboy and the person who is virgin are much different. Even after that it becomes much of a responsibility of the guy to make the girl comfy with all this going on her mind , but , as you said the guu compares and talks about himself, this thing seems to be going nowhere in the future, if not now. Sorry if i am being rude but thats the truth. So i suggest you to observe his beaviour for sometime and if nothing changes, you can talk to him about it (remember, talking becomes more important at this stage) and if the guy doesn understands, you will obviously know by then what to do next.

    • I like how you said that, he try to work with me on how I be feeling. But I just think it is a lot and the fact that he counted. And remember the count just blows my mind!!!

    • I wish you all the best and pray that you get a perfect match for you. :)

    • His count doesn't matters as of now, i can understand that you being a virgin will ofcourse have such thoughts goin in your mind but i think that giving too much attention to his count or his relationships in the past will bring more complicacy in your present relationship and won't do any good. If the guy is loyal with you and tries to work up the problem with you by talking and giving you time then it is good for you both. isn't it the best thing to have a guy who is loyal and caring towards you? Obviously it is, so try to let go of the thoughts concerning his past and work on your present with him and the things will be fine.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Dont do it, i repeat : DONT DO IT.

    You have a too big gap in experiences, no matter if you get over his body count you will never have the same values. He see women as sexual objects and sex as a purely casual thing, humans change yes but values stay the same. You will just waste your time with him, better find a guy who had only relationship sex who can truly appreciate you and the sex with you.

    I dont believe you would want a guy who just does a for him meaningless act with you. You will regret it like many others regreted it.

    A virgin /inexperienced should be together with a virgin/inexperienced and a experienced with a experienced.

    Find a guy you can imagine a future with and wait as long as possible to have sex with until you know there is nothing you could possible regret.

    Guys and girls these days already having sex with the first months of a relationship and most times it won't last.

    But if you dont see sex as anything special then there is no problem with wasting time with a former ( hahaha what a joke) player.

  • 100% bs he is flocking his feathers to mate with you. he is only 22 guys aren't ready to settle down that early. they ony settle down if theyre in love with yoy lol and it sounds like you're just getting to know him. if you want to have sex with him go ahead but be warned you might get too attched and when he hurts you it will hurt bad

  • You have to either get over it, or move on. It's not fair for you to get down on him for stuff that happened in the past and before he even met you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 19

  • So wait, this guy has fucked 18 people and holds that over you, he wants you to give up on your career and settle in the most dead end place in the country?

    Man, this guy is a tool. He loves being in control, and you are slowly giving him that control. It isn't an even relationship, not to him, he sees himself as in charge.

    Forget this guy, follow your dreams, he's a jerk.

  • Sounds like BS to me honey...
    TO be honest, most REAL players won't bragg about how many girls they slept with because they dont want to scare the girl away (like you honey). Especially if he knows that you are a virgin! xD
    He is probably as virgin as you honey, but braggs about all of those girls because he thinks he is gonna impress you with it.

  • You move on, and look for someone with less of a body count. You don't wanna wake up one day and feel disgusted with the pig sleeping next to you imagining all the woman he rammed from behind. If you're not feeling right in a relationship don't do it, don't be manipulated with sweet words. Most guys who are able to ram that many are blessed in their tongues.

  • If you aren't feeling it, then move on. It's not like he can't go get another girl since he is so good at it. If you are feeling it, make sure he gets tested. And make him wait! You want to be sure he's actually looking for a relationship. Personally I would wait six months minimum before having sex and three to jerk him off or masturbate together. Let him know before it gets too serious. He could be saying that since that it what you want to hear. Some might say it is cruel making him wait that long. But if you go around bragging about it, then it's deserved.

  • You shouldn't have asked if he didn't volunteer the info. Congrats, you killed the mood. At least you know better for the next guy. But really though only 18? Hell this one girl I was with had over 50 (she quit keeping track, didn't know what number I was) at 22yo. If I remember right I had 18 or so within the first year of losing my virginity (at 19, I was a late bloomer). 18 at 22 isn't that bad, some porn stars have thousands by their 30's. Why do girls ask such questions if they are probably not going to like the answer? These days all it will accomplish is killing the mood when I'm number 50 or 2000 so I quit asking such things. If she's not a virgin (so I know to be gentle) I don't wanna know how many she's had and hope she doesn't volunteer such info (I know not to), all I need to see/know are recent std checkup reports.

    • I didn't ask.. He brought it up.

    • Lovely, then he's the one that killed the mood.

  • Just because a guy has a high count, doesn't mean he's not going to be loyal or is a complete asshole. He sounds a little bit cocky but who wouldn't be if they're getting pussy all he time. My count is higher than that and I'm loyal to my girl if that means anything.

    • Would you say the same for a girl with a high number of partners?

    • @LoloWaye Yep.

  • Well the fact he was able to sleep with that many women without commiting to any of them is proof that he is above average in terms of sexual desirability and if he commits to you that means you are getting something that lots of other girls wanted but couldn't get from him.

  • Body Count? Like he got dead bodies in his basement xD

    • Maybe like in the Silence of the Lambs...

    • She's in for bigger problems if that's the case. xD

  • tl;dr

    • You shouldn't comment either...

  • Lock your doors, grab a big blade from the kitchen and phone the police lol

  • Doesn't change anything about him. Don't dwell on it

  • He could be lying...

    • Why would a player ever admit he's a player or was one if he's trying to fuck you he would make himself seem like a fuckboy and fault himself out of his plan lol

    • Good point lol maybe he's trying to get her empathy and trust by admitting it? Or not hehe

    • Doubt it as a player not something i would do and if he is then he's stupid lol

    • Show All

  • Why not find a guy who is a virgin or has a low count? Do you really want to feel like he went out and totally lived it up while you missed out?

  • I know that viewpoint these days is preference to ones character but the older you get the more immature i personally feel that attitude is. Seems it would be a bad idea to get involved with him with the route your taking.

  • I dont think he is telling the truth, once a player, always a player

  • stay away from him not saying he can't change but
    THATS WAY TOO HIGH

  • he is a layer. dont trust him

  • "Bad guys settle for good girls and then cheat on them" is more like it. At least make him wait a whole year of being together before going all the way with him. Still, most of the time if someone is a player they will never be loyal to one person.

  • I don't know, that's 3 times more than me and he is only 22, so he definitely is a player so I don't know if he really means to settle down yet so be careful

  • Guys add up. So when he says 18 he really mean 8 minus 1. Which equals 7.

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