Guys, I know it's wrong, but I want a masagonistic yet caring boyfriend. Do guys like that exist?

[Anonymous]

I know it's really weird, especially since I'm a liberal feminist. I work two jobs, and I pay for everything. I'm strong willed and don't let people push me around.
But there's also this secret side of me that just wants to be submissive to my boyfriend, and basically just do whatever he wants. Like I wanna cook for him and clean for him. I want him to punish me when I'm "bad". I want him to look down on me but also treat me in a tender loving way. I wann dress cute and girly. I want to be his sex toy and do everything possible to please him Sexualy. As much as I hate to admit it I want to basically be his property.
I'm slightly disgusted with that secret side of me he doesn't know about.

Are there any guys out there who find this type of relationship desirable, or is this a major turn off?

Should I keep this desire secret from him?

[OlderGuy965]

You don't realize it but you are a "sub" short for submissive. A lot of people, men and women, who are dominant in life outside the bedroom are submissive in bed. And vice versa. Not a hard and fast rule, but a rule of thumb. Go to fetlife. com and you will learn much. You are normal. There are millions like you.

[AustinMan]

There are lots of guys out there like that. I spent years reconciling the fact that I'm a perfect gentleman in public and a very dominant, sadistic lover. I finally concluded that those two sides of me are independent and autonomous.

Does that help?

[MrOracle]

Pretty much exactly what I was going to write.

[Caaarl]

But she didn't say she wanted a perfect gentlemen. She said she wanted someone who is misogynistic and treats her like shit. She has a fetish for an alpha even though alphas are generally looked down upon by feminism.

[MrOracle]

@Caaarl She doesn't want to be overtly dominated in public - especially around colleagues, because that would undermine her authority at work. But in private, and perhaps to a lesser extent around non-work friends, she wants the man to be firmly in charge. There might be subtle signals or signs used when around other people to get the message across so that it's not so obvious, but she wants her man to take charge and give direction as much as possible. That requires some subtlety - and not everyone can handle subtlety it seems. It also requires situational awareness and knowing what's appropriate for the situation. You can't have black & white rules for everything - you have to be able to know what shade of grey to use at any given time.

[Caaarl]

Maybe. She might just want a douchebag in general. She wants to experience soemthi f she is told is wrong and taboo by feminism.

[Caaarl]

something* sorry auto correct didn't work.

[AustinMan]

By all means talk to him about it. I couldn't believe it the first time my lady said she needed me to dominate her and "hurt" her. I got maybe the most raging erection of my life and that's saying something.

Talk to him:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

Let us know what happens, please.

[NaultD]

You can walk the line. Feminist in the streets, sub property in the sheets.

[Gonetowardthewind]

How are you a feminist if you want to be beaten and used as a sex toy? Plus for me I'd never want to be with a staunch feminist as they have quite the double standards.

[BertMacklinFBI]

it's in your nature, so yeah it's normal.

[Caaarl]

No I'd never be with a staunch feminist ever. I don't agree with their ideology.

[Pybrid]

That sounds amazing. Like, im a caring loving guy, and would love a girl to be submissive to me, and do what i like. However i wouldn't be taking advantage of her, or causing pain, as i hate pain.

[StainedClass]

I would.

[Pybrid]

Youd be taking advantage of her and causing pain?

[StainedClass]

Sure would.

[Pybrid]

That sounds terrible, i could never do that, to anyone

[StainedClass]

You would if she liked it.

[Pybrid]

I couldnt do it, morally not okay with me. Id have to leave her so she can find someone else who will. I would never bring myself to intentionally hurt anyone

[StainedClass]

Really? I intentionally hurt people all the time.

[Pybrid]

I can't do it, I care to much about people to hurt them. Why would you hurt anyone?

[StainedClass]

It's fun.

[Pybrid]

How is hurting people fun?

[StainedClass]

Don't knock it till you try it.

[Pybrid]

So if i began hurting you, youd be okay with that?

[StainedClass]

Goddammit stop taking everything so seriously.

[Pybrid]

Life should be taken seriously, others thoughts and lifes should be seriosu

[RECKLESSSQUIREL]

nah share it. it's a kink. it's fine. he may or may not be willing for it. sounds like ddlg to me. but there are other bdsm kinks I am not familiar with

[TheUglyMonk]

You can have all that with a regular guy, you wouldn't want to date a misogynistic guy, a lot of guys like to dominate but to a respective level. You'd enjoy that and trust me no one would love a girl who considers herself a "property", self respect is sexy & attractive.

[Blake0048]

Its not a secret side. Its female sexuality and its normal... men and women are different.

[Blake0048]

But I've never understood why women like being abused and smacked around so much.

[JohnDoe9026]

oh yeah. id love a woman like that.

[StainedClass]

Sounds like the perfect woman.