Sexual Relationships
+1 y

He won't cum in me? How do I get him to try it once?

I'm been on birth control for 17 years straight and take it regularly. This guy I've been dating for a month keeps pulling out, even after I asked him not to. Sex feels like it ends abruptly when he pulls out. Also, I like when my parter is into it and about to cum cause it usually turns me on and makes me go again with them.
So, I finally asked why he keeps pulling out. He says that is what he's used to and always done. The girls he's been with haven't all been on birth control. I asked, "well you don't want to try it just once to see what it's like? I think you're missing out on the best part." He responded with, "I'm used to pulling out. I think it would feel weird if I didn't." WTF
So, my main point is that sex feels so much better when you share in the other person getting off. I think it's a turn on and it gets me off. Sex just ends so abruptly and weird pulling out... I feel like I'm in high school.
I would respect and understand this better if he at least TRIED it then said, "Nah, I don't like it." But he won't even try it!!! I feel like he's focused so hard on not blowing his load too quickly then he's focusing on making sure he pulls out in time... that has gotta make sex way less enjoyable if you can't let loose? Right?

He's not very vocal during sex either. I'm the only one making any kind of sounds. I think he's focused so much on holding it in & trying to make me go first.

I want him to fully enjoy having sex and let loose and just nut all inside of me instead of it being so procedural.
How do I get him to TRY it ONCE? & how do I get him to let loose? Is ejaculating quickly that big of a fear? & why is he being weird about going inside of me?

I don't get it 🙈.
Updates:
+1 y
I tried riding him and he seemed nervous and asked to do it from behind. If I get on top again and refuse to switch positions he will probably throw me off of him! I just want him to let loose and enjoy sex. It's less enjoyable for me with him being so uptight!
+1 y
So I've given it some time and patience... I was even just going to accept the pull out. But, twice I've been on the verge of getting off like about to go and he pulls out !!! So he's sitting there jerking himself off and leaving me hanging. He asked if I went I was like almost... til you pulled out! We could've gone together. So I'm at a loss. He's rather jerk himself off than let us both get off. Wtf I just have a look of disappointment after & there is no round 2 :/
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sex is at its best when a couple feels comfortable enough together to ask each other to fufill certain fantasies and scenarios without fear of judgement. Sometimes a person does things that are not their favorite in order to please their partener more, however, there are some things that a person has to give a hard "no" on, because it would make the person performing the kink disgusted with themself. So ask your boyfriend if he is actually disgusted by the idea of cumming inside a woman or if he just perfers not to. Might be that he'll only do it on special occasions like your birthday.

    • I've asked him why he won't and if he wants to try and the answer was pretty much this is what I'm used to... he said like I'm used to guys cumming in me he is used to pulling out...& it would be weird for him to do anything different 🙄 I let it go. Thanks for the insight!

    • Seconded with the addition that recognizing that it's what he's used to, ask him to try it as a favor, as something for you, to indulge you in something you really enjoy and want. Then let him decide based on that.

    • yeah, i was trying to say that... just never quite got there. heh. ill second your second.

  • This is a little puzzling to me because it feels SO amazing to cum inside a woman's vagina. All I can think of that might explain would be that he's terrified of making you pregnant. Even though you're on birth control. I'm not sure how his fear of cumming too soon plays into his not wanting to cum inside you. It seems to me he'd have that fear (whether for good reason or not) no matter where he cums. But I can understand your wanting to feel that kind of intimacy that comes when he ejaculates inside you.

    • I know so I don't know why he won't try 😩

Most Helpful Girls

  • The way you are acting is making him feel LESS comfortable with you. If you do not have the patience to deal with his anxiety, then he is just going to feel more anxious. It's never a good idea to pressure someone for anything, including sexually. Just let it go for a while and see if he changes on his own. If he doesn't, then you can bring it up again nicely and ask if he is still worried about you getting pregnant etc. There is also a slight chance he is doing this as a way to get more space in the relationship because some people do not feel safe getting too close.

    • I agree. Thanks :)

  • Yes it's more intimate for him to cum inside and feels more natural and complete for lack of a better word. I don't know what his issue is. He's either scared of getting you pregnant or he has some kind of fetish for cumming on you. Some guys get off on that. Whatever his motivation is, pressuring him won't help. My advice is to let it go for now. Tell him to cum wherever he likes. It's a fairly new relationship. Allow time to build some history and trust. If things work out, he may reach a comfort level with you to where he'll want to do it inside you.

  • It is difficult, if he is really fixed in his ways it may be very hard to change him. Short of screaming "fuck me baby, cum in my pussy, cum with me baby" when you think he is getting close I am not sure what to suggest.

    • Worth a shot!

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 22

  • It's his choice. If he is uncomfortable with cumming inside you then you need to respect that choice. He doesn't owe you an explanation or to "just try it once." You're going to have to suck it up or dump him.

  • what you say is very unusual-I would say put both you hands on his but and hold him in you when you both climax-maybe if he experiences it then he will know what you mean

  • no birth control is 100% he probably doesn't want to fm risk it

  • It's because he's smart, and he doesn't trust you.
    If he was really smart, he'd be wearing a condom.

  • Just be patient. You have only been together for a month. You are too sensitive about this and not respecting his boundaries. He isn't blind to the horror stories out there of women who claim they are on bc but only lie about it to trap a man and get pregnant on purpose. Lot of nightmare true stories. He doesn't have that level of trust with you yet. I know you feel disconnected, but sex with out a condom and asking him to cum inside you within a month of starting to date is pretty fast tracked in my opinion, and I would not do it either. Just be patient and tell him he can let it go when he is ready.

  • All I can say is that I wish I were in his shoes. I can only dream of the day when a woman gives me the OK to do it. Not enough women use birth control.

  • 1st, pulling out is the most idiotic form of birth control in existence. Does he realize it really is not birth control at all. once there is precum, which happens for almost all guys, the deal is done?
    2nd, you can still get pregnant. My ex wife got pregnant with our fist son when she was on the pill. She teased me when I would make us use 2 forms of bc in the early parts of our relationship. I would wear a condom and she would use either the pill or the sponge. so just have him wear a condom. until your ok with getting pregnant, and just as importantly, he is ok with you getting pregnant, I would not trust just birth control pills ever.

    • I've never had a pregnancy scare. I'm not even sure I can get pregnant. I've been on it for 17 consecutive years. I trust it 100% lol

    • That is fine. Also, my ex was on antibiotics at one point when she was on it which will negate them and we did not know that. We found out exactly 1 week after deciding to wait 1 more year before having kids to try and save some money. But we both wanted kids so it was happy time. We also used them for years without issue. But you have to be ok if it doesn't work if you only going to use them. I know bc is way better now then it was 25 years ago. The fact is I wasn't willing to take a chance. That is why I got a vasectomy a month before my 3rd child arrived. That was the best decision I ever made. Now I can point my penis at anyone, it is only for show now lol... But I was not willing to take that chance back then. I could have lost my virginity 2 years before I actually did if I had trusted them, but I didn't and don't regret it.

  • Because you two have only been dating for a month. It's a big red flag for a guy when the woman says it's ok to ejaculate in her right after they start dating. The only thing I can say is stop asking him to cum in you, and wait until you two become closer. The more you bother him about it, the more he's going to pull away. Time is the remedy of everything.

  • I don’t get it either!
    I love to cum in my girls warm wet pussy she likes it to!
    I love to cum that way the best!
    Why would he pull out if you are on B. C?

  • Your not sexually compatible and it sounds he's just a piss poor selfish lover to boot. It won't change so you have a decision

  • Leg lock.

  • Yeah I don’t either I would fill you up most any man would rather cum in a pussy

  • Don't force him if he doesn't want to.

    • I can't force him. After asking him to cum in me, he still pulls out and I don't say anything about it now.

  • lol i think he may just be so used to it that he doesn´t know any better xD poor bastard. he definitely should give it a shot (pun intended).

  • I had this ex that did not use birth control and I had no damn choice but to pull out. She tried to hold me in with legs and hands and she would get mad as hell. I did give in a couple of times gambling with my life, and she would tell me after “I can feel it moving in me” (as/then sweat rolls down my forehead)–pregnancy fear aside, agree cum inside is mutual satisfaction –don’t suggest condoms because she didn’t like that either. She is long gone – a near miss-being shot at scared me less

  • I'm speechless! If I know you're on the pill and it's all good, I'll cum inside you every chance I get!

  • does it affect your orgasm if he does not finish in there?
    do you have a full climax and are satisfied?

    • Yep!

    • It's such an abrupt unfinished ending. It's like I have no part in it lol he's off by himself "finishing." And yeah it gets me off

    • i understand where you coming from.. it is like sending a message.. he does not mean it but it is still a message. I know I am the opposite I actually prefer to stay inside for several minutes after we are both done (I know a bit TMI) :)

  • "How do I get him to get me the baby I want" is how that should read lolol

  • Sounds like he has a big fear of getting you pregnant. it definitely feels a hundred times better to cum inside then to pull out. either ride him until he cums or just straight up tell him when he is ready to cum inside you then we can have sex because it's not as enjoyable for me

    • sounds like he is a selfish lover if he has left you hanging twice just so he can jerk off

  • the conclusion is you wasting your time and sex life with some one who is not good with you, get another cock which know how to fill a pussy every single time.

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