Sexual Relationships
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How Do I Tell My Boyfriend To Stop Getting Erections; When we hug, cuddle or have any physical contact?

Hello I would appreciate some advice; so I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years and he is an amazing man and treats me like a princess! We met at a coffee shop when we both worked downtown; he is an medical researcher and I am university student. He is 27 and I’m 21 so I have noticed since we began dating anytime we would cuddle or kiss or simply be intimate in those ways he would get an erection. At first I would ignore it and not say anything as I know he was visibly embarrassed and his face would turn red! but to this very day anytime I hug him or cuddle or simply touch him in private he just gets an erection! and he never talks about it or mentions how he feels to me and just chooses to ignore it and becomes visibly red ! We have not had sex yet in these 5 years so I don’t know if this is why? we are both virgins But I find it a bit irritating and would love physical contact without his penis getting in between us! Thanks for the advice
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Most Helpful Guys

  • He didn't tell you, because he never initiated the conversation or because he changed the subject when you asked him about it? If the first is the case I'd just talk to him. Ask him if he has any idea what to do about it.
    If he has no idea, I have a suggestion, which is pretty obvious and you probably already saw coming: maybe you should help him blow off some steam. It might help a lot to have sex, as - compared to that - cuddling is not as sexually exciting. That does not mean that doing this will mean you should have sex daily, (unless you want that of course) but these are all things you can discuss, if you talk to each other.
    Just bear in mind that he can't help it, and he's probably more embarassed by it than you are.

  • So you're complaining that your boyfriend finds you attractive? I'm sorry to be blunt, but you are being ridiculous. He cannot control his erections - none of us can.

    The only thing that will stop him from getting an erection every time he touches you is if you drain his balls until he is physically unable to get hard again.

    You shouldn't rush by any means, but I doubt this will be a problem anymore once you two start having sex. That is, it won't be a problem if he's getting enough of it.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'll say what everyone else: he can't control that. But I'm surprised you haven't had sex in five years. If he gets turned on by you so easily and he waited this long, you should treasure him. Not all men could do that.
    I know this wasn't the question, and I probably shouldn't advise you on this matter, but I think it's time you both lose your virginity.
    I would normally say you should wait until the time is right, but the time is probably right (as long as you feel comfortable with it)

    • I disagree. This woman's question shows that she has an enquiring mind. Her level of intelligence shines through. I think she should treasure her virginity as long as possible, even after marriage. He can buy a cage to stop his evil erections.

    • @Intraluminal Just as I said: as long as she's comfortable with that. If she isn't, that's alright too. My opinion was anyways probably influenced by today's 'standards'. I see that she's intelligent. If she doesn't want it she'll just simply not listen to me, so stay calm

    • I am calm. I just don't think she should give up her virginity ever. That way her genetic value will be best realized.

  • You can't he's attracted to you next thing you're pressuring him to stop it then when you want it he won't get hard and it's a whole argument just don't shove your butt near his hard di*k!

  • Its simply unfair to ask that.. its human nature it cannot be helped.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 21

  • No real advice but this'll make ya laugh for sure

    https://imgur.com/a/hSZhN

  • It's a natural occurrence... it's going to happen whether of you two want it to or not.

  • This is biological. You know sometimes female raped victims get wet down there when they're giving oral. Clearly they're not doing this intentionally, but the thought of sex does this naturally. Think of men's erection the same way.

  • There isn't a magical off switch. Obviously he's getting turned on and that's a natural consequence. Dude has been in a 5 year relationship with a girl throughout most of his twenties and hasn't had sex yet? You need to cut this man some slack. I genuinely feel sorry for him.

    Maybe convince him to masturbate before spending time with you.

  • Cut it off I guess because there's not really a way, it's pretty much a default reaction, you don't really get to physically control boners no more than a female can control how wet she gets

  • That poor guy...

  • Enjoy it while you can... in about 20 years you will be missing how easy he can get it up.. lol

    • damn girl. go easy.

    • @Extazye Sorry I speak of what I know... lol. But thank God there is little blue pills.

  • well stop breathing everytime you hug or kiss or whatever. wait? you can't? well it's the same with guys. it's a bodily function a guy can't always control. telling someone to stop having erections is really not the way to go. you could end up hurting his feelings, because he'll feel guilty for something he litteraly can't control

  • He may as well ask how he can tell you to stop having periods.

  • They sell little cages on Amazon so he can't get an erection.

    • 😂 if he's waited 5 years he may be into that

    • @Wonderer89 hah! I know right?

  • If you want your boyfriend to stop getting erections you can do 2 things. first is Try to cut his penis off. This will probably end you up in prison, or he may savagely murder you... Or you can pray to whichever God of your choice. Otherwise GET OVER IT! Erections are natural dammit. most men in their 20s are naturally sexually inclined individuals.

    you can also let him fuck you once a day and that will stop him from getting another erection (after a man cums, it takes a lot for him to get stimulated again)

  • men are men, you can't make someone stop getting an erection, that's like asking a girl not to have her period.

  • Yell at his penis until it cowers away in fear.

  • the only way to have less erections is to ejaculate! if he's fiscally out of sperm he won't get turned on that easly. He can have sex or even masturbate, but after 5 years I suggest to star having sex

  • Are you serious? Erections are involuntary so it's extremely immature and stupid to be upset with him

  • men don't have control over their erection, it's automatically done by the body

  • https://youtu.be/HN5AYBuqwvA

  • If you're having too much sex with him, he won't get it up in those situations. Just saying.

  • Do like the farmers do at horse shows when a stallion starts to drag its dick on the ground in front of women, they kick it or whack it with a stick

  • Have a one on one conversation with his penis, can't have a third wheel around, 5 years is more than enough, it's time to step up.

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