My boss is trying to have sex with me I'm afraid to lose my job?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I finished my degree in law school and just found a job, trainer. I get paid 670€ monthly I've been working there for three months as an assistant and now my boss is turning things sexual. He tries to touch me. Tells me that I can't wear pants at the office, makes me stay after my shift alone with him, I have to have lunch with him, once he drove me to his place saying he had to pick some papers. I live alone and don't have anyone to pay my bills I need the money, he keeps telling me that he will know if I try to find a new job. I'm scared, what can I do? I can't lose the job but I'm afraid that he might rape me or something.

[Livinglogical]

Does your job have a hr department? If so I would speak to them.

Otherwise, don't make it obvious that you need the job. Mention that you have taken in a lodger (another means of income plus shows you do not live alone. Also maybe that you have bought a dog (again showing u do not live alone). Next time he does anything innapropriate just say 'That's a little innapropriate don't u think? I'm all for a laugh and banter but there are limits'. Hopefully he'll take the hint. If he doesn't or threatens your job or says anything else that makes you uncomfortable say simply 'I told you that kind of behaviour is not acceptable'. 'I work for you because you pay me, I don't come with special benefits darling there are special people you can pay for that'. Be bold, be brave, don't take any nonsense. If he continues to behave that way, leave.

[HonestGirlAlways]

Look for a new job anyway and meanwhile stay as far from him as possible. I wish I could tell you that you should report him and make a huge scandal about it but the way things are, you could end up being blamed for all of it, lose your job and watch nothing happen to him. So if I were you I'd start looking for another job and leave whenever I could.

[SarahsSummer]

You're a lawyer, surely you must know of sexual harassment laws. Is there not an HR dept at the job for you to go on the record, if for nothing than to protect yourself should things turn ugly. At the very least document specific notes with dates, times and situations you've felt uncomfortable or sexualized.

[nachosaresexy]

I think there's two things you need to do right away... start documenting (make notes, a journal, whatever works for you) of anything you consider inappropriate behavior and include the date/location so that you have legit documentation of the pattern of behavior, but in the meantime also just do you best to completely shut down any of his advances while still remaining professional and not letting it affect your job duties.

Hopefully he'll eventually back off, and it'll become a non-issue, but if not and if things eventually escalate further you'll be prepared to approach internal HR or an outside resource if you need to handle the situation that way.

[nachosaresexy]

Oh, one other thing... have you started looking into any other job opportunities? You've already got a few months experience which should help, and you might be able to find another job that is just as good if not better, and without the creepy boss.

[martyfellow]

Eventually he's going to insist on sex. He's smart enough to get you to 'agree' because you are scared but it will be rape in practice.

No job is worth your self respect. Get out of there. And bring a legal case against him! Collect proof, get witnesses, keep messages he sends... That will compensate you economically. Hey, why am I telling a legally trained person all this?

[Asker]

He's a lawyer. We know how it works, he isn't stupid to text me things he shouldn't I can't even bring my phone inside when he calls me. It will be my word against his. It's not a crime to take your assistant to lunch, it's not a crime to ask her to do one extra hour every now and then, to get reunions alone with her you see my point?

[martyfellow]

Oh, he's a slick one then. Still, collect all the evidence you can. REPEATEDLY asking you to stay late without a real work need, for example. Insisting on going to your place.. there's no work excuse for that for example. What about co workers? Do you know if he's done this with other assistants? Try and find out about that. There's no way he could hide that, people who work there will know all about it.

[AustinMan]

You need to tell him that you love the job but not his sexual advances. That he has to stop or you'll go to HR. Then document it in an email to file right away recording as close as you can to verbatim the conversation.

[Being_a_good_Indian]

Complaints to the authorities. It is also one kind of mental abuse to any girl who is living in the fear all time. Don't get afraid of him. Never tolerate such Rascals who does not understand that how to respect the girls.

If possible find out the new job as soon as possible if you don't want to take any action against the person who does not respect the women at workplace.

[Ads123]

catch him redhanded trying tobseduce you bring him to court.. he may be a lawyer but you can't mess with the facts

[snowangle]

Talk to his boss, or HR or something. He can't get away with that.

[mrinalashesh007]

After all he's a sick boss! just complain to the authorities.. but for that you need extra proof..

Keep pepper spray in your handbag.. and a slim ball or ink pen.. a scissors also could do the trick.. innsuch emergency cases.. no need to stab him.. just making him frightened is good enough..

Hope you do have cctv camera in the office.. don't go with him alone.. try to take things calmly.. and tell him openly you don't feel safe with him. if things go ugly.. simply report it to the authorities and don't look back. He won't be able to do anything.. he is just bliffing.. you can't just be a slave to your boss just coz you need to pay bills ! Be a dignified woman and pull up your socks.. fight for yourself!! All the best brave girl!!

[RJGraveyTrain]

Go to human resources.

[OlderAndWiser]

You said that you graduated from law school. Are you now qualified to practice as a solicitor?

[Asker]

Not yet, I have to pass the examination first

[OlderAndWiser]

What legal protections do you have for sexual harassment claims?

[Warmapplecrumble]

It happens in most jobs.

I always got this at work.

I just stopped working, now I work for my boyfriend.

[Asker]

Glad to know you're safe now but I don't see how that can help me honestly.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Thank you. I used to job hop ever 6 months. Because I said no to the flirting and sex. I used to live on my own too. For 2 - 3 years. I got heavily assaulted at my jobs. I'm still trying to get over the trauma. Then I found my boyfriend. Last time I got sacked my boyfriend said, it's best I stay at home.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Every** To be honest if you are working under straight men or lesbian women. They will try to have sex. I don't know any way around it other than working from home or doing a practical job with many people around you (so they are never bored, always have their mind occupied).

[Machiavelli]

Went through the same thing at every job, I now work from home, the last job I walk off of, I called my boyfriend crying and he told me not to go back, but people act like these things don't happen.

[Bezbozhnikustanka]

What happens when your boyfriend dumps you? Never be financially dependant on your partner.

[Warmapplecrumble]

@Machiavelli yes, it makes me very sad. I thought work was work but it isn't. @Bezbozhnikustanka I'll become a prostitute.

[Machiavelli]

Lmao at prostitute, best to be a camgirl, prostitutes can get kidnapped.

[Warmapplecrumble]

@Machiavelli that's better advice lol, at least no one touches me. Escort is a good business too, but again it's risky and after a certain age they don't employee you.

[Machiavelli]

I think escort job is best with a pimp and that's once again giving your power and most of you money away. So camming would be first choice.

[Warmapplecrumble]

@Machiavelli its best to just find your own business or a husband. Due to my high stress level I can't manage stress of the business so husband is best. Loool xD I'm gonna die for saying this

[Machiavelli]

These men don't want to do their part. When they have a functioning relationship they start to slack off so I would never depend on them again. That is why I am starting my own home based business, so I can still do up-keeping of the house and make my own money.

[Warmapplecrumble]

@Machiavelli there are some men out there. But it's really good, starting up your business. :-) You have something to pass on to your future children

[Machiavelli]

That is the main reason I'm doing it so my future daughter can be heir and never have to worry about finding a job or have the need to depend on men.

[Warmapplecrumble]

@Machiavelli :-) that's a good dream. I am not sure if I want children in this evil world.

[CheerGirl38139]

You have to know that this is a serious case of sexual harassment, which is against the law. You just finished law school?_?

[Asker]

Yes, I did

[CheerGirl38139]

Then You know that what he s doing is illegal. Document it, and report it. Either to HR at your company, or to whatever government agency regulates employee rights in your country.

[abc3643]

In the US this would be illegal. Look up sexual harrassment laws in your jurisdiction. However, if your organization has a Human Tesources department, talk to them ASAP.

[coding]

Law school? Have you heard of sexual harrassment?

[Asker]

He's a 58 years old lawyer. I'm an 22 fresh out of college trainer. Guess what will happen then? You don't get it.

[coding]

Look. Just because he has more experience than you in your field, it doesn't mean that he can do whatever the hell he wants and tell you whatever he THINKS is good. Especially when it involves your body and your well being. I cannot say that I've experienced sexual harrassment in the work place, but I sure as hell experienced expressing what I think is right to my superiors. I'm currently a third year student who worked as an intern for a company that is partnered with Microsoft last year. My project manager mentioned a specification which I thought was wrong and I spoke out against it and suggested an alternative. It all ended up well for me in the end. Sometimes you just have to have courage to do or say what's right. If things get worse, find another company to work with. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

[Rissyanne]

You need to get out of that situation. Document everything

[JohnDoe3000]

Record your conversations with him. Leave this job, this shit isn't worth it, especially not for 670 euros a month. If he makes any trouble about you leaving or otherwise, threaten him with the recordings.

[likitb4istickit]

What if it's not illegal where she is? What would she threaten him with? Hell that's just a good way to get herself killed if he's that type of person to not let loose ends roam free if she hopes to just ruin his reputation or something.

[JohnDoe3000]

@likitb4istickit You think she lives in Saudi Arabia or something, and what would you recommend, that she keeps working there and lets herself get abused until her boss retires?

[likitb4istickit]

If it were me I'd just go ahead and fuck him anyway. For a girl that's the best/most efficient way to get ahead and climb the career ladder. And I was thinking more like Eastern Europe or Russia or China, but could be pretty much anywhere in the Middle East as well, if that are in a country that allows women to work at all.

[likitb4istickit]

She mentioned euro go guessing Eastern Europe first like the Czech Republic.

[likitb4istickit]

Well, the best way to get promoted is give the boss the best sex he's ever had. Hell I would even if I didn't think he was attractive. Which do you like more, your dignity or your job? Pick one.

[Asker]

And then you give his son's friends sex to keep the job, you give the jury sex to win a case, you give your teachers son sex to give him good grades, it's so easy right?

[likitb4istickit]

Yeah but at that point I might as well put an escort listing up on Backpage. Come to think of it I probably would have done that first, 100-150euro an hour is far more than 670euro a month.

[Intraluminal]

You're a lawyer. Surely you know how to protect yourself legally? As for physically, get a taser.

[MichaelG]

He sounds like a psycho... ""telling me that he will know if I try to find a new job. I'm scared, what can I do?"" That's him trying to manipulate you, report him to the police before this turns into a rape or beating. Sorry if I jump a lot but he had no right to tell you that... stay strong and your well being is of utmost importance.

[Vanjasper]

This is sexual harassment, bullying, intimidation, exploitation. You do not have to put up with it or accept it. You're in Europe i take it. There are places to go to report this. You can and should use your phone to collect evidence. You should know as a law student you're entitled to compensation for his unwanted behaviour.

[Chuhiya]

Visit HR or woman cell in your office..!
I'm also sailing on the same boat 😓

[mi2precious]

have some proof with u and start applying immediately. the world I so large. and then quit. never walk on the sex path. u may rise high but one day u will fall on ur face and u will certainly be not satisfied. u can join academia as a side job

[KingDio]

report he's ass