My boyfriend follows and likes photos of (half) naked girls on Instagram, not models. I feel hurt, what should I tell him (read details)?

[Beth9015]

I discovered that my boyfriend follows tons of girls on Instagram. He likes many photos of girls who love to show their cleavage or are completly naked. I don't know if he talks to these girls or if he knows them. I just felt really hurt! I don't have a problem with him watching porn, but this a different issue. These girls are not instagram models, they are not famous... it's not like he likes a photo of scarlett johansson (a woman he will never meet/have). These girls are "approachable", girls he could meet in real life. Something that bother me even more is that some of those girls are underage. He even liked photos of a 14 years old girl half-naked (he is 29)! That grossed me out even more! I feel extremelly dissapointed and hurt!
Furthermore, he likes a lot of photos of girls with large breasts (mine are small). Even though, he says he likes breasts in general, this whole issue helped me realized he definetly has a preference. I feel like, he is only with me (instead of one of those girls) because he has low self-steem (he has admitted to have self-steem problems) and thinks I'm his last chance to get a girl (he spent 5 years single). When I met him, I thought he was different: the type of guy that can feel physically attracted to other women without having the need to follow her on IG and like every single photo of her showing her tits...
Am I being overreacting? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Ok it's probably gonna be a long answer, but I speak from my personal experience.

If he does that then it fits his definition of 'normal' and there is nothing you can do. Your definition of normal is the opposite and even if you suck it up now it will bother you every day from now on.

You can try and talk to him about how it makes you feel and see his reaction. Reaction says a lot.

If he says 'oh I didn't know that it hurts you so much, I will unfollow them' its the best case scenario but it happens like NEVER.

If he says that this is typical guys' behavior and he is just being a man or calls you sensitive etc. he is likely a toxic partner and will try to make you feel guilty. This is a trap and you better out.

If he gets super defensive and switches topic that its likely says about deeper issues that trust me you don't even want to know.

The best would be to talk and come to a compromise but taking to account that he likes underaged girls and easily accessible girls in general, I can hardly think of any compromise. You can ask him to do it privately and not throw it to your face like this, but again once you see it its hard to unsee it so you will somewhat always wonder how many underaged girls he fapped at today.

In virtue of my personal experience, I would say that following a few sexual accounts is normal (after all men are men), but
- if the number is ridiculously high (I once dated a guy who 'collected' girls and had like over 1000 accounts)
- if they are specifically of underaged girls
- if they are from the same town so you or him can easily bump into them
- if he has a secret account where he posts what he likes about this or that girl and how he would f*#k them
THOSE ARE ALL RED FLAGS and usually are linked to very deep issues of his personality which will not make you or your relationships any good.

[Idk33]

It all depends on what ur relationship is like: Prioritising IG over ur relationship/taking time out of his day to like photos instead of doing something productive/being w/u then this= a problem. He's not appreciating u-he just feels comfortable w/u because u 2 have been together for a while/he's afraid of being single again? But, u have to understand that he's w/u for a reason-he likes ur looks+ personality. We all look at others we find attractive- it's natural! If he wanted to be w/those girls, u 2 would've already broken up. Eg: u c a guy u find attractive+ check him out. This doesn't mean u r going to ask for his number/cheat on ur BF/when u c ur boyfriend think of him as a lesser person-u 2 still have a connection that goes deeper than physical appearance. That being said, I think u should talk to him about his issues, y u're together+ what ur relationship is worth to both of u. If he makes u feel bad about urself, tell him that+ try to work it out but don't expect him to change fully.

[BLxox]

Just let him know how you feel so that he can explain himself and then work things out from there!

Hope this helped!👍🏼

[Caaarl]

You should tell him and have a healthy conversation saying how it makes you feel.

I personally think you're overreacting though. I know it's easy to feel insecure and you feel like you're being compared to these girls but that's not what's happening. Guys have no scorebook in their head where they compare you to all the girls on ig. You should he happy he's with you. If everything else in your relationship is generally healthy you shouldn't be worried at all. And even if it isn't this isn't a big deal.

[ravedave]

I do think you're overthinking this a little bit, only because I use Instagram as basically softcore porn. Literally the only reason I have the app is to check out hot chicks.

I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid, but what I am saying is I don't think it's as much of an issue as you're making it out to be. You can totally talk to him about it, and tell him how it makes you feel, that'd be a completely fair course of action.

[muzamil197]

Well all of your worries are coz u r over complicating a comparatively simple thing by over thinking. please take a deep breath n accept the fact that boyz are boyz n they will do theze things, not much to worry about

[hsg14002]

in my opinion, you have every right to feel the way you feel. Talk to him about it. If you dont feel like enough for him, then maybe you should leave him. But you gotta talk to him about it.

[chuy10]

sluts are sluts tell him how you feel

[Anonymous]

He’s liking pictures, not doing anything wrong. As far as the age goes, who cares? He liked a picture.. he didn’t have sex with them