Falling for my friend with benefits/anal sex?

[Anonymous]

I don't know what to do... I think I'm falling for my friend with benefits, who I never thought id fall for... :/ but he was telling me about a girl in work that likes him and he said she is well hot etc... but she has a 4yr old so it would be too much hassle and he just wants fun (I'm the fun)... He says its cool if I sleep with some1 else, but I don't want too and he knows this... we also had anal sex last night (my 1st time) and now I feel like a slut basically... all the time he has done it he has been in a r.ship... I dropped him off at work this morning and as soon as he left the car I burst into tears :/ I'm so confused... help? x

[Anonymous]

I think most of the time a FWB will develop into something with feelings as there are feelings attached to sex. You are practising a very intimate act together, spending time together, waking up together so I would expect at least one of the partners to develop feelings over time. I don't know how the anal made you feel like a slut, it is just a different position, I think before you did the anal you probably were wanting more. Have a talk to your FWB about how you feel and if you are good friends with him maybe you can develop something more.

[l-hedoniste]

Tell him, tell him, tell him.

This relationship, as it is, clearly isn't working for you. It'll have to change, and will probably have to end. You're falling for him, but it doesn't seem like he's falling for you--or anyone--in the near future.

Leaving will hurt, but staying with a man who doesn't want you will hurt so much more.

[Asker]

Yeah I know what you mean... just don't know how to tell him

[l-hedoniste]

Just open your heart to him. Tell him what you're feeling, why you're so sad.

[Asker]

Yeah... I don't wanna come across to full on tho :/

[KarKingJack]

I love how anal sex isn't a benefit, LOL.

Anyway, casual anal sex isn't any more slutty than normal casual sex. Which isn't at all... And just tell him your developing feelings for him, but tell him your not ready for a relationship yet either, and I don't reckon you are, 'cos your still a bit, 'woah', about it. It'll work out from there, and you'll still get some actioooon.

[Asker]

Haha thanks :p Yeah, I might try that... because at least then its not being too "full on" about being in a r.ship with him... hmm...

[KarKingJack]

Yeah. It'll be smoote, babyyy, I'm tellin ya

[Asker]

Hopefully!!

[noclueman]

did you enjoy the anal sex? or did you just do it for him kinda thing? You really nee go tell him how you feel about him. anal sex can make him actually feel closer to you because it is like you are doing something a bit dirty to a woman that she succumbs and allows you to do whatever you want to her. it is a great turn on.

[Asker]

I did enjoy it... and yeah I did do it for him because he loves doing it, so I thought I might aswell try it...!

[Biggus_Dickus]

enjoy the sex, relationships make things worse

[Asker]

Yeah I know... but I don't want him to go with anyone else :/

[Biggus_Dickus]

Well that's just selfish

[Asker]

Why is it selfish? I don't want to go with any1 else either...

[Biggus_Dickus]

Don't make him stop seeing others just because you wanna stop

[Asker]

Ive not seen any1 else since I started with him, neither has he...

[Biggus_Dickus]

Tell him you like him then

[Asker]

Yeah... I will do

[startstop]

why don't you just tell him how you feel maybe he feels the same for you

[Asker]

I don't want to ruin what we have by making it more complicated :/ but I don't think I can go on like this

[startstop]

Life is about living....the only thing you regret is something you don't do.

[abc--123]

the only real answer to this is to be verry honest with him, you never know he may have told you about her to try and get you to say you have feelings for him.

good luck