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I'm scared to orgasm?

I haven't had sex yet, but my boyfriend and I do have oral sex. Here's the deal, I've gone down on him, he cums, all is great. He goes down on me,... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • ive been through the exact same thing. in fact I'm still at that point where I too have the need to push him away and get scared of the orgasm. my boyfriend is really understanding and I've talked to him a lot and he just carries on and doesn't try to make me. he reassures me it will happen when I'm ready for it too, and he will just be there for me.. okay, though with my personal circumstance, I have been given a theory of why, and its from counselling I've had due to something a went through, a sort of sexual harrassment, when I was a kid (about 11 years old). And what I believe it is for me, is that because of what happened I have a fear of losing my control over myself. because when I was younger that's what this other person essentially took form me. I love and trust my partner and yet its still almost like a feeling that to lose that control, sort of how you have to let yourself go in orgasm, is a bad thing and it makes me scared and therefore I block it for myself everytime, not quite just a reflex, but I still have that need to inside me. by no means am I saying that you've had some bad experience, but perhaps for you its similar in that you are a girl very in control of herself, confident in every day life, and to surrender and make yourself vulnerable like that does scare you. for me I loved and trusted my partner but it still is an issue, and I made sure he knew that it was an issue with me, and not that it was anything he was doing. or perhaps if you think you might be able to see some other reason that might link to why you feel that way.for me I've already made loads of progress though, at first I wouldn't let him give me oral at all. it took about 5 months and I let him go down there but still then only for a couple of minutes before I had to ask him to move. for me I'm definitely getting better but it isn't a quick fix and having an understanding partner that actually loves me enough to wait months for me to do stuff is exactly what's helping me to get over the things in my past that have been effecting my present.

What Guys Said 1

  • 2 things might be going on here.1.) You're about to squirt when you cum. Some guys freak out when this happens, others love it, but the only way to find out is to let it happen. 2.) Don't be frightened but you may be on the verge of passing out. This is actually not a bad thing just let it happen, trust me you will LOVE the results.Bottom line here is that you shouldn't be afraid of your body's natural reactions, let it happen and see what it feels like, you may end up liking it ^_^

What Girls Said 4

  • i heard its OK to orgasm, I haven't had sex yet but if I had an orgasm during oral sex and stuff I woulnd't be afraid to, I would let it all break free :)

  • If you're scared you probably aren't ready.

  • Just imagine something that feels a million times better than how you fell just before it! That's how amazing it is! so just let go! You'll be glad you did!

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