Why are girls so obsessed with gay guys?

[false23]

It's kind of pissing me off. It seems like girls are programmed to always like what they can't have and spit on what they can have. It seems like the instant a girl knows a guy is gay, they rant and rave over him like he's a movie star. Why is this? Is there some feature, such as being feminine, that women are attracted to? I've heard it's because they will eagerly go shopping with them and are open about themselves. Isn't that a trait that should be desirable among good boyfriends, not gay friends? Logically, women should be against gay guys since their sexually is causing more competition for the women (since there are fewer guys to choose from). It may seem like I'm bashing homosexuals, but I'm not. I'm more against the way people are overly, unjustifiably supportive of them (they treat them like kings even if they haven't done anything to earn respect). I'm also not crazy about the fact that homosexuals are proudly boasting about their sexuality. I don't care if they're gay, but they shouldn't proudly display a trait that really should be kept to themselves as much as possible. Someone who's not supportive of gays will only become stronger in that belief if gays continue to hog the spotlight as such. I'm just frustrated that girl's attention is diverted where it shouldn't be, and I don't know why?

[Anonymous]

yeah as I a bisexual, I have a slight urge to say "f*** you" but lets just go through this step by step

1. men are the kings of wanting what they can't have. p*rn? mens magazines? video girls? models? hello?! what planet do you live on? Next.

2. Girls that you're talking to may actually like the gay guys in question. I know it may come as a shock, but we homos are occasionally very likable people that people love to be friends with. just occasionally though.

3. The idea that a girl can be close, touchy feely, comfortable, and free, flirty, and friendly without worrying about some ulterior motive of wanting to get into her pants is amazingly freeing for a lot of girls. in our society, gender is polarized and many girls are used to having most of their main/close friends as girls. then comes along a guy who is cool to hang out with, sometimes cute as well (that matters to some girls), and he isn't interested in your vajayjay AT ALL, he isn't obsessed with staring at your boobs or trying to hit on you. You can dance with him at clubs and just have fun. no mixed messages, no worrying about being hit on by him, no confusion. its free, just fun and innocent. And yes sometimes we like to shop with them. You can ask him for his opinion as a man who isn't distracted by sexual desire. he can tell you straight up if you look good in a fashionable way. he wouldn't be biased and unreliable like most bfs, or guys who might be interested in you. plus, you can take them into the dressing room with you.

4. Not all gay guys are feminine. Not all are into fashion, but I notice many tend to dress better than most straight men. This is another reason some girls are attracted. I know several gay guys who are not dressed to the nine though.

5. A lot of gay guys are really good looking and if the girl gets along with him and feels comfy, she may start to fantasize about him. There are some gorgeous gay guys out there. One of my friends is this tall, hot latino guy. I'm not into fantasizing about him but I can definitely see where some girls would be attracted. he's a hot piece of yum. he's also able to be really affectionate with girls because he's gay, kisses and hugs, etc. again, that free feeling. its just innocent.

6. logically women should be against gays? I disagree with your "logic."

7. And, remind me again of who gave you the authority to tell people that they should keep their sexual orientation to themselves as much as possible? I smell a bigot.

8. Many of us are proud of overcoming the struggle that is being openly a part of the lgbt community in a narrow, heteronormative society with strong emphasis on the gender binary. That's not easy for everyone, there's all kinds of drama with friends and family, etc. Who wants to hide after all that? And everyone celebrates some part of who they are. There are polish day parades, religious holidays, cultural festivals, etc. all kinds of PUBLIC organizations or different identities, including lgbt.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh and 9. You have this irrational mentality I can see. You are equating gay men with your competition with women. You are saying they are hogging the spotlight... honey, you aren't even on the same stage. It shouldn't be a big deal.

[false23]

I don't know why women have the mentality all guys are obsessed with sex and care ONLY about that (although there are some cases like that, though rare). Did ever occur to you that maybe they just want a pleasant companion to have around? And what makes you all think a guy has to be gay to be open with someone? Like I said before, I have nothing against homosexuals. However, some people are offended by it for religious (or other) reasons, so it is something that should be kept low-profile.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay how many guys do you know have girls on their top list of friends? Sure there are some, but you can't argue that most guys prefer other men as friends. I'd say over half won't get as close as a gay guy will get to most girls unless they are interested in them. why do you always hear straight men saying "men and women can't be friends because of sex." I've known several guys who admit that while hanging with girls casually is fun at times they don't have close, real friends who are women.

[Opinion Owner]

And I do think in many cases the guy does have to be gay. I tell some of my close gay friends all kinds of information about my period, my body, some have seen me naked, slept in my bed, I've danced up all over them in clubs, kiss, been in the bathroom with me while I'm on the toilet, etc. you are going to have a hard time finding many women who will let straight men that close as friends. most straight guys don't want to know/see half that stuff and they might be turned on by the other half.

[Opinion Owner]

and again, your religion is not my problem. I'm going to live the way I want to because its a free country. separation of church and state. my right to express myself has nothing to do with your religion until YOU make it a problem with your attitude and mentality.

[Opinion Owner]

And honestly the fact that straight men don't have the same relationship with lesbians and bisexual women usually that many straight women have with gay men, especially heteronormatively good looking gays and lesbians, speaks volumes about my point. I've talked about this with a lot of other queer girls and every single ones of us who is femme (and even some tomboy and butch girls actually) has had issues with straight men who know we aren't interested in men at the time or at all (the lesbians).

[Opinion Owner]

They still disrespect us and our sexuality, they try to hit on us, they get offended or upset when we say we prefer women, etc. I've actually had to stop being "friends" with several men because of that reason. I'm not saying its all men, there are a lot of men who are cool with being close friends with bisexuals and lesbians, but I'm definitely not willing to call this problem "rare" either. I've experienced it far too many times. I've had guys disrespect my boundaries in front of girlfriends.

[Opinion Owner]

It's beyond annoying. Theres a definite sexual issue going on with men and their attraction to women that prevents many queer girls from being able to be close to straight men as just friends that honestly I don't usually see with straight women and attractive queer men. And I think this says something.

[SashaSilent]

I like gay guys because they are usually just straight out fun.

They are like my girl friends, but without all the cattiness and bitchiness and competition. I know if I ask them their opinion on something, they will give me an honest answer.

Also, and more importantly, I think they're so brave to come out of the closet in such a close minded society. I guess I look up to them for that, because if I were gay, I'm not sure if I would be strong enough to do that.

[WovenEclipse]

I don't really understand why gals would be all obsessive like that either :) I mean, unless their all yaoi fangirls or something XD But I have one gay guy friend :D I can't say I'm obsessed with him or anything though :D I just treat him like a normal mate really :)

[mangaka92]

Because females are relational and emotional creatures in relationships where as men are more physical and often more sexual creatures in relationships. Both are good in balance, but that's why girls flock to gay guys because they are more of the "relational and emotion" type of being that girls see as attractive in their perception of attraction. In fact, even guys and girls have sex for different reasons. Guys, because they need the physical aspect of it and girls because of the emotional and relational part of it. It's because it's hot-wired into their very being and because of this, a guy who has no "physical" interest in them is very attractive because he meets their emotional and relational needs only instead of being a guy and having his own needs. It's kind of selfishness, really, in a way when you think about it because they are more interested in talking to a guy that thinks and works the way they do instead of a guy who is a guy and has his own thought process that they would have to get used to and understand. That's why they're also more comfortable around them because it's the "easy" way. Of course, I've never had any problem talking and relating to girls in a relational and emotional way and can still retain my male thought patterns still and not be gay so there are exceptions to any rule.

And you're right in thinking it's where it shouldn't be. It's because, as I said, it's the easier relationship for them. It's like a female friend without the drama and a guy who's uninterested in sex. To them, it's the best of both worlds; someone who understands them, and at the same time doesn't have any of their own "annoying" male features. As I said, it's kind of selfish, but whatever. I guess some guys do the same to plenty of girls and get in relationships ONLY for physical pleasure. They're just getting into friendships with guys only for the emotional attachment.

And women's logic is not systematical logic as guys logic is. Their's is more of emotional logic. What makes sense to their heart makes sense to them "logically." That's their logical perspective for the most part. That's why you see girls sometimes saying that we should be more concerned about safety policies in corporations because they are concerned for people's health and think it the "emotionally" logical thing to do while guys might disagree with them because they, instead, see the "system" of the corporation and see it as logically wrong to do.

And it's not all girls. I know a lot of girls that are creeped out by gay guys.

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

One of my woman friends mentioned the same thing the other day...She thought it was lame also.

It is because girls think every male is after sex with them, so they feel like they can be completely open with a gay dude, I also think that they just find it intriguing.

Crazy Bi Anonymous User has the right idea with number 3 and 5 in her answer :D

[big_jimy_pimp]

they are not you moron,if they wear they love forbidden fruit. just like guys love lesbians the thught of them turning straight just for you is a super turn on

[diamond3]

they are fun and good friends to have..

[LAnights]

I mean I think that's certain gays because most of my gay friends are pretty damn manly and don't talk about girl stuff and hate shopping blah blah blah

[oo0sweetness0oo]

Its not that we like what we can't have its just that gay people seem to be more understanding then straight people its not just gay guys but lesbians too... and gay guys are so fun to be around. they are funny they know style they give great advice...they have this weird but cool world that no one seems to understand but girls then again you have to remember they are gay so they like everything a girl does they think like we do even sometimes have really good taste in guys its just like having a girl best friend but its just in a guys body...hope this help

[Anonymous]

I don't understand it either! I'm openly gay and this gets on my last damn nerve. I mean, they KNOW I'm no where near interested and I find it disrespectful that they act almost as if they can "turn me straight".

[Anonymous]

Gay guys are sweet and down right fun. :) they have the silly funnies that most boys do yet they are sensitive and sweet for the most part.

Its nice to feel relaxed around the male species and do some girl talk. I'm just speaking imo. just the gay guys I know of course. Of course its different for other people.

[tohrment]

Agreed - and you don't have to worry about any sexual tension/awkwardness.