Why don't I orgasm when I finger myself?

I finger my self and go fast or slow but nothing happens. I don't feel anything. Its not loose, its really tight. My boyfriend is planning on fingering me and I'm scared I won't orgasm. How do I make sure I will orgasm for sure? ------------ If I don't orgasm should I fake it? If so, how? If not, then what do I do?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Orgasming is EXTREMELY difficult for many many females.

    but that does not mean you should give up, in fact totally the opposite.

    I actually would reccomend that you look up p*rn, sometimes just knowing what your into can get you hot faster. Also, make sure your alone when your first learning to masturbate, set up in a place where your comfortable, like your bedroom (but I recommend it being clean, stress does nothing for orgasming)

    If there's any imagery or practice that consistently makes you horny (don't be ashamed) then think about that.

    for example if you really like the idea of doggy style, or bondage, or getting eaten out etc. then concentrate on that, or watch a video of it.

    Another thing to know though, is that having a guy touch you is a completely different experience from touching yourself. And if you set up the mood right, (lots of touching, kissing, maybe even grinding), even if you don't orgasm, you'll very likely enjoy yourself. For a lot of girls, orgasming by the hand of a partner requires a lot of intimacy, so don't be afraid to give it a few tries. ;D

    • Thanks :) Yeah it such a better feeling.

  • Fingering yourself and from your boyfriend is totally different. I never finger myself but I enjoy from my boyfriend fingering including eating me out. That's heavenly good..

    Rubbing is the best way to get orgasm . (For me the only way ) A small vibrator can help you out too.

    Just a touch yourself while he watch, that's a way better than rubbing yourself.

    Never fake it. That's negative for your relationship or sex life.

    • Thank youuu!

  • Don't fake it! Guys hate that if they ever find out. Some women just can't get aroused from vaginal stimulation, try rubbing your clitoris and see if you can achieve orgasm that way.

    • I can by rubbing but not fingering. Weird?

Most Helpful Guys

  • masturbation is something you cannot rushed but you must explore and I mean set aside time where you doing it slowly and smoothly without distraction or being hinder.You cannot force an oragams via masturbation otherwise it will not feel right but you have to groom the body to the point where it releases the orgasm on it own which is waht bring about earthshaking orgasm.So please try again but set side quality time for doing it and you have to feel confident in what you are doing and is trying to achieve without feeling ashamed or embarrased but let yourself go,Do not watch p*rn please as it can be very dangerous for you as well as please do not through yourself to your boyfriend for him to do that to you plz.okay.

    I hope I was able to help.

  • Just let him do it to you... it may be differnt that what you are expecting... or the right places you may not be able to reach , so many differnt facters...

    The main thing for you to do is lay back enjoy it as much as possiable , don't over think ANYTHING! ( lol, I know your a woman ) ...just clear your mind and be in the momment...

    Don't fake anything , because you don't want him thinking he did a better job than he did , make him work for it so he knows how to please you...

    if you don't get there at all , don't bug out ... just keep trying and it will come ,lol

    • thanks.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 12
  • Uhm... wow. One lucky boyfriend then.

    Don't fake it, just moan I guess. Without trying to be perverted in any way. Just moan and kinda breathe deep and fast. It kinda shows the guy you're doing a good job.

    Uhh... Good luck though.

    • Thankss

    • Any time Y/w. And Good job on havin' no fear of anonymous. hah, I never put Anonymous. Good for you. :)

    • haha why thank you!

  • I would just like to give you a round of applause for posting sexual questions of this nature without making yourself anonymous. *clap* *clap*

    Congrats on having no fear.

    • oh ahha why thank you!

    • lol you deserve it.

    • :)

  • It's not surprising. Only about 30% of women can reach orgasm from penetration alone. There's nothing wrong with you. You, like most women, just need some clitoral stimulation to get there.

    And on behalf of all men out there, please don't fake it.

    • Thankss

  • As every one has said, don't fake it. That would be like training him to be bad in bed. Do however look up some p*rn and find out what your into. If you can't get off by penetration, no big deal. Try rubbing your clit. Big advantage to that? A lot of guys think it is hella sexy when a girl touches herself. just remember to enjoy yourself even if you don't orgasm.

    • kk :)

  • Don't fake it.. stop worrying about it... or get a vibrator.

  • Faking is lying. Fakers are liars. Liars bother us. Please don't be a liar.

    Does anything else work? Vibrators, shower heads, hairbrush, anything? Do what works, no matter what.

  • you're gonna have to find out what rocks your socks off first before you let him do anything to u. cause odds are he's gonna be 10x's more lost. you're gonna have to show him how to do it the way you like it.

    • DUDE WHAT? lol...thisGUYknows what ? ...maybe you should stop pleasing your socks,lol... too funny

    • hahaha whatever man. I ain't the 40 year old still on this website. go take your viagra or avodart or somethin.

    • HA

    • Show All
  • When you say "finger" do you mean just inserting a finger into your vagina if so try stimulating your clitoris.

  • Don't fake it ... Don't ever fake it. A good percentage of women have difficulty reaching "vaginal" orgasms. You should apply some stimulation to your clit (or ask your boyfriend to) while fingering.

    • thankss

  • He's got a thumb, doesn't he?

    • yeah...

  • Don't fake it. He'll think he's doing perfect and never change.

    • ohh...your right.

  • try the clitoris, maybe you're clitoral not vaginal

  • dont worry. try some toys and watch p*rn movies . you would surly get hepl...

  • scoop and dunk

  • Rub your clit at the same time. Or find your g-spot. Bam. Problem solved.

    • :)