My boyfriend cums too quick. Help?
So there's been times me and my boyfriend have had sex and as soon as he starts to do it fast, he cums like almost immediately. He says that he can't hold it, but I figured guys could hold it as long as they liked. So usually if we do it nice and slow, he can last a lot longer, but I've found that sometimes it's not as enjoyable if he does it slow; it really depends, though. There were times where I wasn't able to orgasm because he came so quick. Is this a common occurance with guys? Also, we do use a condom, so I don't know if that affects how soon he cums, as well. Is there anything I can do before having sex to enable him to last longer?
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Hi, premature ejaculation is not caused by over sensitivity in the penis, therefore desensitizing creams/sprays or even circumcision is not the answer. (who would want to have sex and feel nothing anyway :S)
The problem is actually in the brain. The neurotransmitters are firing all wrong because of poisons in the food/water that affect men. They affect women too but in a different way. Ever notice the high percentage of women these days who have breast cancer, cervical cancer or cysts ?
To correct this problem is simple. Firstly, there is a supplement (CHEAP) called Melatonin... buy it, take it at night. It helps with a multitude of problems by helping the body to heal itself at night and also it regulates serotonin which plays a role in ejaculation.
Secondly, there is a herb called Vitex, it decreases prolactin so that increases dopamine (great for eliminating all PMS symptoms in women and also it decreases refractory period in men) so in other words he can go again and again without having to wait very long.
Lastly there is green tea. you can actually drink the tea (I don't recommend this because it's HOT lol I live in the Caribbean so you know I'm not friends with hot drinks) or just take the herbal tablet.
All good advice and all CHEAP supplements available without a prescription.
Also, AVOID artificial ANYTHING (aspartame, etc) they work on a mutated form of amino acids eg. phenylalanine is used to make aspartame and phenylalanine is also a precursor to Dopamine so mess with artificial stuff and your body is gonna take a beating, starting with the smallest appendage :P)
One side note is make sure he doesn't cheat... I had a friend with this problem so I told him what to do. The problem went away, his wife THOROUGHLY thanked me with cookies and baked goods for a month, THEN he started humping up the neighborhood (wife's words)
He literally thought he was God's gift to women and went at it like he could win an award in the Olympics.
Hope this helps... I love herbs and cheap alternatives to solving problems :)
What Guys Said 5
Yes you can
First of all there are many can't last longer it is not him only
So you can start practice woman on top any position and move slow, when he reaches the point he wanna come take it out and put tight your fingers on his penis head and squeeze until he lose the desire to come then let him enter you.. Do it every time he is near to cum
after a period he will control it
there is a Chinese exercise too to control needs from month to three
I wish it help
Masturbation in general helps with lasting longer. If he rarely masturbates its a good probability he will not last long due to his anticipation. Once he reaches a certain point during sex its very hard to hold it back...even going slow. Also, using no condoms always made me orgasm faster. Is he not able to get hard again after some time? Just have sex again and hopefully that will solve the problem.
This is a very common problem, and most men CAN'T control when they cum. Some women like it that way, as they feel ites proof of how exciting they are. But clearly your man comes too soon for you!
He could learn to control it, but it takes time and practice. He needs to exercise his pelvic floor muscles (yes! we DO have them too!), if these are strenghtened and controlled he will be able to avoid cumming! To exercise these muscles he needs to do what he'd do to stop peeing if he was desperate. When he's erect, the kok moves up and down with this action. He needs to practise tensing and releasing in this manner very quickly, as that's exactly what we do when we're about to come but hold off.
The stronger these muscles become, the greater his control will be! He should experiment with long holds and slow releases when exercising.
What Girls Said 2
Slow, fast or sideways--it doesn't matter. It's a combo of good Kegel muscle control and brain chemistry. Being very aroused of course is a huge factor. I have to agree with what FRANK said below. Pretty accurate and sound advice. With my guy(s) I take full advantage of the fact that they may easily come quickly. I first off let them eat me out for a while. This is great foreplay for us both and gets both of our juices flowing. Then we get to what I think of as THE main attraction and that is giving him head. That is my number one sexual interest and I like to take my time and carefully build it up over an hour or even more sometimes (and here, if he comes too soon I keep going because I really want this part to last). After such a big build up he has a huge orgasm and then we usually rest for 5 or 10 minutes (get a snack, use bathroom etc.). Then I start working him up again doing all sorts of things depending on what mood we're in and when he is hard again we go at it--this time it lasts easily longer. In my case, I prefer having anal sex at this stage but the principle still applies as far as him being able to last longer after a big release earlier.