Why am I always the friends with benefits and not the GF?

Question

I don't know what's wrong with me. No guys ever want me, if they flirt with me they want a FWB.  All guys that seem interested tell me that they are commitment-phobes and don't want anything serious.The problem is, is that the guys I date become exclusive to other girls right after we broke up because they don't want to be tied down. The first one left me for a girl, another started dating a girl the next day, and the last one took only 2 weeks to meet and start dating them exclusively. I don't know what's wrong with me, or why guys don't see me as dating material. I don't think I'm gorgeous but I've been told I'm pretty and have even been asked to model. I've even asked my guy friends what makes me just a friend to them and they always say that I'm so sweet and they wouldn't want to hurt someone like me because they consider themselves "bad guys". Yet, they'll date my friends and treat them all amazingly.I'm just so sick of being single and it's really wearing on my self esteem.

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

Multiple reasons. First of all most guys don't want to commit to a girl who's been ran through. If you've had multiple FWBs then your reputation is probably f***ed up. Guys tell other guys and brag about what girls they mess with, so if you've messed with multiple guys your name is out there and that means that when it comes time to settling down, a guy is gonna go for a girl who doesn't have her name in the streets like that

Another thing some girls fail to realize is that we hold the power. That's why some guys resent us because it's true. We got the kitty kat, we make the rules. Only the woman can decide where and when they have sex. If you said no and waited then the guy couldn't have sex with you. But if you give it up easy for whatever reason, then what incentive does the guy have to get to know you better? Men want sex first and maybe a relationship if they feel compatible. They aren't like women who are looking for a commitment, many guys would be happy to stick a different girl everyday if they could but you're the one who wants a commitment so don't give it up so easily. They will take the sex happily but why would they want to date you? After they nut they got the conquest and the thrill done with you, but the OTHER girl the one that held out and got to know him, bonded with him and waited is the one who catches his feelings.

That doesn't mean that just because you wait that every guy will want to date you because that isn't true. There are a lot of guys that just want sex, that's all the want and no amount of strategy will get them to want a relationship with you. HOWEVER, not settling for FWB will weed these guys out and get rid of them faster. You need to develop a better screening process. Get to know these guys, talk to them and see what he's about before you waste any feelings on him. Let him do most of the talking so you can analyze what type of guy he is and what he's looking for before you sleep with him.

PoeticNinja · Accepted Answer

That's what you put yourself out to be..  What's wrong with having a FWB?

InAmberClad117 · Accepted Answer

I'm sorry, I have a friend like this, and honestly.. I don't understand it too well. But it seems to become a cycle of sorts.. You have to be willing to not do anything with guys and prove that you're worth more than just being a Friend to someone. Break the cycle, even if it means not having a "Boyfriend". It'll be hard, but there are good people who can help you if you need and are really committed to making things better.

Assassin · Accepted Answer

Be yourself and don't accept FWB..There is nothing wrong with you, you just land on the wrong guys. I think you want those "bad guys" because all your friends find them cool. There are guys who prey for one date but are put in the shadows because those bad guys take all the attention. But again it all down to how you spot the right guy not the loudest.

Jonny_ · Answer

Because a lot of guys want no strings sex... Best way to stop it, be more selfish, expect a guy to date you before even considering giving them it, it's also good to make them wait to see if they're just after sex.