Sexual Relationships
+1 y

What sexual acts do you find demeaning or disrespectful?

Curious after reading recent Q&As. What type of sexual behavior do you find to be disrespectful towards a partner, or find demeaning, etc. It seems that women are far stricter in this sense than men are, which is probably due to p*rn. :) (Yay, this is my first sexuality Q)
Updates:
+1 y
Okay, so we've mostly agreed that nothing is demeaning if it's consentual. But what do YOU consider to be an act that you personally wouldn't do/want done to you because you find it demeaning/disrespectful/humiliating/etc?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Nothing consensual is demeaning or disrespectful (granted there is no coercion of any sort). Consent by coercion is illegal and demeaning in itself.

    To me, there are things I would never consent to-- if I were for some reason to be forced into a situation or sexual act either against my will or without it (unconscious or unable to respond) then that would be disrespectful, demeaning and degrading all at once :P

    Still, it is possible that you have consented, yet were some how demeaned or degraded in the process. For example, you agree to have sex and your partner randomly takes out a knife and cuts your arm because they have a blood fetish. You didn't consent to having your blood drawn, they didn't ask or give you an opportunity to shy away or stop them, so therefore you were disrespected, degraded and demeaned.

    This applies to every sexual act-- including oral, anal, or other really mundane, normal things.

    To demean your partner is to not give them the ability to choose or consent to a sexual act. Want oral? Don't just grab their head forcefully and put it there (unless you know they are okay with it). Want anal? Don't just put it in (again, unless you know).

    I know what some of you reading are thinking, "how would I know they want anal/oral/cutting? maybe they have to try it to like it" it's called communication. Stop making excuses and start communicating.

    All things forced or done without permission are arguably degrading-- unless the person who is having the sexual act conducted on them determines otherwise or has requested you do something random in a forceful or surprising manner.

    Great question :)

    • Good Job My Lady! <3<3<3=D

    • This is a great answer!

    • :) @update: I don't think there is any sexual act that I would consent to that I find demeaning. Anything I do willingly is something I'd probably enjoy. I guess when it comes to things I wouldn't consent to is extreme bodily harm, things involving poop or "play rape" come to mind.

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  • Sometimes I see advertisements for p*rn sites that torture & humiliate girls. I don't like to see men beat the crap out of women or destroy their anus by sticking objects the size of softballs in there. I also don't like when people say really insultful degrating things. I watched a video once that had a woman degrating this male by calling him a slut, worthless, piece of sh*t, & all sorts of nasty stuff. I did NOT enjoy it at all & don't think it's okay to treat men or women like this. I think respect is very important in sex.

    • Agreed...but I have not found anything to disagree with you..yet...(:

    • :)

  • Inherently demeaning/disrespectful? In my opinion, only nonconsensual acts. Not just sexual assault, but also doing things in the bedroom that the person might not be okay with without asking the person how they feel about it. Such as anal, facials, d***slapping, face-f***ing, name-calling, surprise prostate massage, bondage, etc. Don't just do things out of the blue, have the decency to ask the person if they'd even like it.

    • Of course, there are a handful of people out there who like being treated that way, but there's still an agreement beforehand. And possibly choosing a safe word. So it's... consensual nonconsent :P

    • @update: I think I would always feel degraded by name-calling during sex, even if I ask my boyfriend to try it at some point :P I don't think it could ever sit well with me.

    • yeah you b kool

Most Helpful Guys

  • Rape, obviously.

    But I'd say off the top of my head- when either sex is overly dominate or whatever towards their partner and the other doesn't really like it. Sure, they can speak up but what if it's a type of relationship where one partner is kind of intimidating (indicating that the relationship might be abusive, be it a dominating guy or some crazy feminist chick). I think if either side isn't enjoying the act or is iffy on it, then it's disrespectful. Like QueenofPeen said, I think it's mostly the consequential acts that are most likely to be demeaning or disrespectful.

    None of this really made sense lol

  • Demeaning--

    --Hitting or slapping, I couldn't do it even if a hot girl wanted me to.

    --Ejaculating on a girl's face. Body shots I love but the face seems like it's demeaning.

    --Anal sex. I lose my erection imagining the pain it causes a girl.

    --Sex anytime she doesn't seem comfortable with it.

    • :) <-- at come shots on the face!

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 12

  • Rape...that's about it.

    If it's consensual, it isn't degrading.

    Of course there are certain lines I won't cross.

    • To take a little from what queen said, to just spring something on a partner can be disrespectful...like, just sticking your finger up their ass or sticking their d*** up a girls ass. I would feel uncomfortable with feces, vomiting, blood and would certainly NOT do anything involving children or animals. I don't mind slapping or spanking, as long as he's cool with it. But to spring something on someone without talking about it beforehand is disrespectful

    • yeah good answer Ms Texas

  • Choking, BDSM, S&M, all that kind of stuff.

    Its not something I'm comfortable with, for mutiple reasons but the main two is because one I dislike violence and in the bedroom I don't like using strength in the bedroom because in the heat of the moment I could use too much strength in the bedroom and hearing an Ow or Ouch in the bedroom isn't a turn on to anyone, unless your into rape, then to eachs own.

  • Tastes differ. It is amazing what some people enjoy.

    Things that seem disrespectful or demeaning toward a partner or just gross are:

    Anything to do with excrement.

    Anything to do with animals.

    Anything the other partner says no to.

    I don't understand violence mixed with sex.

  • I will not allow my boyfriend to finish on my face or in my mouth, I find it to be disrespectful and unnecessary. Luckily, for me, he finds it to be as disrespectful and gross as I do so there is no problem.

  • 1) Anything violent (spanking for example)

    2) Using demeaning name calling (calling her a whore)

    3) Not respecting your partners boundaries or not responding to his/her needs.

  • No limits; it's the partners intention, not the act itself, that makes something degrading. I have limits on the unethical, the illegal, the dangerous, and the icky, but not the degrading; I just dump people who want to degrade me.

  • I wouldn't call any act between two consenting people demeaning because its by choice. However, there are plenty of things I'd call demented that occur between consenting people.

  • i don't find any to be demeaning between consenting adults, but there are a few things I will not do.

    • @ update: no dildo play with my rectal area, homie don't play that.

    • *hears the light sound of tohrmy writing this down on a notepad for later* >.>

    • :o

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  • Awesome question.

    Honestly, none. I don't find sex (consented sex) ever demeaning or disrespectful. Yes, there are some people that like to be 'demeaned', but is it really demeaning if you like it? d:

  • I'd be open to anything except what comes out of the back door if you catch my drift ;)

    • link ? :D

    • haha yes you understand completely! :)

  • Yes you are right what you say about p*rn. This article link is interesting and about that.

    I think it demeaning and disrespectful when someone is just after there own self pleasure with no respect for there partner. I believe that any man who has sex with a prostitute is demeaning, disrespectful and humiliating that woman.

  • absolutely nothing.

  • bukakke, blumpkin...i'm embarrassed that I even know what these are lol, rape, extreme violence during sex, torture, humiliation, face f***ing. stuff that's really rough and painful looking. someone who is into this would give me red flags and it would be a huuge turn off

  • Well, let's see...

    There's the hot Carl

    The blumpkin

    The brown tornado

    The mudslide

    The "Where's Waldo"

    The Cincinnati handshake

    • In non-porn talk, please?

    • EWW blumpkins are icky... You forgot the rainbow kiss though!

    • Btw, why do these all have the same theme? It's kinda icky poo. Litterally..

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  • rape...and anal. or pooping

    • I could live with that! ..(:

  • Rape. Or this: link

    • But seriously, I think it has more to do with the context of the act than the act itself. I mean, unless it's rape (act: rape; context: rape). Or unsolicited buttsex.

    • Charming link, lol

    • Normally I would try to explain how discovered it, but clicking "anonymous" was a lot easier.

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  • Urination or defecation of any kind is disrespectful. I personally find the thought of sticking my member up a girls rear-end to be disgusting as well. Anything that is violent beyond a mild choke or spanking is too much for me.

    • What is disrespectful? Spitting on someone? Do you french kiss? Or are you too fastidious for that? Saliva is among the most unsanitary of body fluids whereas urine & blood are sterile...or did you not take biology in school? What Rule Book did you read these rules of Disrespect in?

    • Personally, I like to piss in the toilet. To each their own.

    • Well then enjoy pissing in your toilet and don't assignate disrespect towards others..?:

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  • Any bondage type stuff. Sometimes spanking or hitting with an object. It kind of depends on if both parties enjoy it. But yeah name calling can also be disrespectful, but it's a turn on for some.

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