Myth or Truth: A man can have frequent sex with the same woman even if he's not into her.

[Anonymous]

I'm having a friends-with-benefits kind of relationship with this man for almost 5 years now. I can summarize our history in 3 phases for a general overview. Phase I: Met him, on the 3rd date we slept together, no talk was really established on what we our relationship is. I got jealous and freaked-out,he got scared and run-away and that was it. Phase II: He met another woman, told everyone she was his gf, she moved in with him. Me and him belong to the same peers so I'd seen him thru this relationship with another woman. They broke up because of jealousy on the part of the woman also. After that, I jumped into a friends-with-benefit relationship with him. He told me that he's not ready for a new relationship coming from a shitty one and he doesn't know what he wants and he just want to have fun. And silly me said OK to him. Some jealousy happened again on my part and just stopped doing it with him and he never asked for it too. Then one day I just decided to hide from him and not communicate at all. Phase III: Almost 2 months ago, we started hanging out again. And then we started doing it again. I believe I gave him the hint. Up until now, we are still doing it. And I guess we are still on a friends-with-benefits mode. I do have feelings for him. My mind says he doesn't feel anything for me at all but my heart says maybe he does (wishful thinking). But then I do want to break-up from this. After all these doesn't he really have feelings for me even just a little bit? If any one can just tell me, I guy can really do it over and over again with the same woman even if he's not into her - then I can break up with him - knowing that this will not hurt him at all.

[kiamia]

Somebody just asked similar (more general) question here recently, and guys said that they would develop feelings in time.

From my personal experience, though, I must say that I was in this kind of relationship for 6 years (on and off) and he said he didn't love me, but claimed he was addicted to me. (We had amazing sex and I was crazy for him.)

All my friends and his friends too told me that he loved me, but he himself said if he'd loved me he would want to commit which he didn't.

[Lesae]

Sorry, but I think they can. Besides, you can find a guy who will call you his girlfriend. He might care for you as a friend, but if he doesn't say it to you? Then it's just friends with benefits. I believe every woman is in the type of relationship she wants to be in. You deserve better. Especially after 5 years. Give him the boot!

[samthan]

I course you have feeling and maybe he does too. why are you both scared to commit? did you have bad past. talk to him maybe you can be in a relationship. I for one get \how you feel friends with benefit is hard I been there off and on with the guy I want something more like a relationship are thing is so confusing I don't know.

[Notsure]

Yup. He most definitely can. I know I have done it. It was supposed to be a friends with benefits deal, and it was her idea, but she developed feelings and that was that. I left. Then I had a friends with benefits deal with another chick, and she never felt anything, so whenever we get together, we have sex. That's usually when I've been in between relationships.

[Asker]

Hi thanks for the answer.About the last line you have - 'in-between relationships'?Is it like a serious bf/gf thing? In his case,for more than 3 yrs now - he hasn't had any of that.We usually see each other 2-3 X/wk.Why do you think he hadn't got into one?

[Notsure]

No. It's not a serious thing. I call her and we agree to hang out. I bring over some alcohol, we catch up since the last time we've seen each other, get kinda drunk, then watch porn and have sex. I leave in the morning, and I may not see her for a while.

[Aedak]

Yes, it's called a friend with benefits.