Am I a slut?

I am 21 years old. I have slept with 16 people. Some I have been dating, others were just one night stands.

I enjoy sex and I don't really have any regrets about it but I can't help but feel kind of dirty, too. It just seems like a guy won't take you seriously if you enjoy sex.

The other night I was in bed with a guy.. friend with benefits.. and he said to me, "You're my little slut.. but just mine.. my slut. No one elses." and it made me feel terrible. I don't understand why he'd say such a thing.

Anyway, yeah, am I a slut because I enjoy sex?

How do I get men to take me more seriously?

Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The question being is do you think your a slut? if not don't worry about it.Just don't tell a guy that you really like that youve slept around like that.Be creative expand your mind your conciousness feed your brain with intelligence,pride and wisdom.Get into things that real people with real feelings do,like art, or music,DO you have any talents besides you know?

    find yourself find inner peace...If you don't take yourself seriously how do you expect anyone els to? maybe then you'll attract men, instead of jerks....

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What Guys Said 10

  • Well enjoying sex is different than cheating on someone because you can't control yourself. I think people correlate the two ideas when it comes to women. That you couldn't be monogamous if you were in a relationship because the first guy that you felt attraction to would cause you to cheat on your current guy.

    Maybe this guy was just trying out some sex-talk in the bedroom? If he really meant what he said, that was pretty shitty of him. Did you ask him if he was just role playing or just let it happen? Just write him off as a loss if you think he doesn't respect you. Well. His loss, not yours :)

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  • Guys think easy girls are great but have trouble loving them. Once you've shown a guy that sex to you is as a casual a thing as a pizza then that's about how valuable the sex and you will be (If sex is all you have in common)to him no matter how steaming hot it is.

    I would advise anyone, male or female, not to tell if you have vast sexual stats if you ever want your partner to feel remotely special. There may be some men who won't care but those really secure men are few and far between. Most of those guys are professional athletes. I mean, even Kobe cares not to follow where Shaq has been. Most of the rest of us average guys are pretty insecure. So when you are ready to settle down be prepared to live with a little dishonesty between you and the one you are closest to for the rest of your life.

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  • No, you're not. You are experiencing one of the cultural effects of religion. Religion has poisoned society to the point that normal, healthy responses (such as enjoying sex) are valued negatively. If you remove other peoples religious beliefs, the only reason people have to complain about your sexuality is that you aren't choosing them for partners or you get better partners than them. Enjoy being young and attractive, it passes and most people my age regret what they didn't do a lot more than they regret what they did.

    Oh, I married my favorite slut. One of the reasons was that she loves sex.

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  • A slut is casually defined as a woman who has sex with just about anyone. If your having one night stands, that is pretty close to that definition. "Enjoying sex' doesn't make you "different".

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  • No hun, you're just fine. You probably wouldn't even be thinking that if he hadn't said it.

    You know, there are many different guys who you could chose to have a casual relationship with, if you want one guy for that. And it can be one who won't think of you in the way that the current one does.

    Just keep your options open. But don't worry about what was said. There's nothing wrong with you. ;-)

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What Girls Said 11

  • Well, he is a dick for making you feel that way. I would have said.. Well, this slut is out of business with you.. But, no you are not a slut. Just use protection. We seem to never judge guy's when they sleep with people. If you want a serious guy? Don't sleep with them for awhile. Dump this guy though.

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  • Hey if a guy sleeps with over 25 girls what do you call that? If he called you a slut so is he...I still don't understand why its still a man thing. Guys do the same thing and sleep with as much people as possible yet they are considered something good - but I think this way if a guy calls me a slut for enjoying sex than I would call him a slut also...I can't stand it when guys think that if a girl has slept with at least 6 guys than she's a slut - no sweetie you are not a slut just sexually active...which is a good thing for the body at some point as long as your protecting yourself!!!!

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  • Enjoying sex does not define you as a slut. Protected or unprotected sex only defines how cautious you are as a sexual partner. A slut is - "Slut is a pejorative term for a person who is deemed sexually promiscuous. The term has traditionally been applied to women and is generally used as an insult or offensive term of disparagement."

    - from link

    I think with today's sexually charged behavior that it is more and more common for younger folks to have a higher number of partners as compared to some of us older folks. However, the actual term slut has remained a negative term. For the guy to have called you that may have been very offensive. However, in sexual relationships among many, using derogatory terms is part of the sexual expression. If you are genuinely offended, ask him why he called you that and perhaps explain your offense taken. Also keep in mind just as he is entitled to his opinion, so are you, you may choose to never get intimate with him again for his opinion and you may choose to believe he is a pig for saying that.

    BOTTOM LINE: What matters is what you think. If you are enjoying multiple partners, then do so. If you don't then slow it down a bit.

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  • Be more selective when comes to choosing your partners. That's about it. No you are not a slut. Everyone enjoys sex whether we have it with 1 partner or several. I can tell you are confident with yourself that's cool. Don't let anyone ever put you down.

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  • No way, you're not a slut. You just like sex. Somehow we've been brainwashed to believe we're not supposed to enjoy it.

    A little advice though: be selective. And tell your FWB that you're not "his" until he makes a commitment.

    You sound a lot like me - a very social person and not tied down to any one guy. But if you want men to take you more seriously, you gotta change your lifestyle. Like, when you flirt, aim for dinner or a date instead of sex. Let them know that's what you want, to be taken seriously. The rest will follow!

    Good luck :)

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