Why can't he get over my past?

My boyfriend is extremely hung up on my past. I guess I lied by omission in the beginning of the relationship. Then one day he asked. Turns out he knew some of the guys. Since then, he gets mad at me sometimes if something reminds him of what I did. I've had to answer every question he has because... Show More

(Oh sorry by "he keeps doing porn" I mean he watches it, not that he's a porn actor, sorry for the confusion)

Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all. I actually like this guy. Your situation reminds me of my and my ex girlfriend. I remember one time I met a group of 4 guys who were her "friends". It turns out these guys were the guys she had a kissing fling with while I was away in another state for the summer. It hurt me cause I had no idea it was them, and I even shook their hands and treated them with respect. Although she did tell me, I never really got over it until a few months later.

    Let me say this. He will get over it... eventually. The hard part, is getting there. You must tell him that he shouldn't worry anymore, that your there for him and he's the one you want in your life. I know it's difficult, because a lot of guys are insecure, at least at first. But by no means does he seem like a bad guy. I know it's cruel or perhaps might lead to an argument, but you should "playfully" threaten him that you'll break up with him if he doesn't forget your past. He needs to witness what it might be like without you to realize how much you really mean to him. My ex did this to me, and boy was I scarred shitless.

    Stop talking about the past, don't tell him anymore of it, because honestly there isn't any worth discussing. I understand why you were so honest, because you really like him. But he has to learn that you can't move forward if your still dwelling in the past.

    As for the porn. Tell him if he continues to watch porn you won't continue to be sexual with him. Porn is addictive. I won't say it's wrong or immoral, but it is an addiction. He probably does this to make himself feel better when he's thinking of you with those other guys. It's his "comfort medicine". You need to tell him to stop, he's only hurting the relationship, not you.

    Now I know some girls or maybe even a few guys might tell you to dump this guy, but I disagree. Were all not perfect. We all get jealous and we all lack self esteem issues. It's the process and the priority to which we allow ourselves to become better that makes all the difference. There is a lot of work involved, I know. And believe me it won't be easy, but the end results are always worth it if your willing to give it a try.

    Hope this helps :).

    • hey,hey

      Why pick on porn?

      Any and everything can be an addiction


      So can






      where does it end with being an addiction?

    • Show Older
    • SaucieMaMa, [ Pornography is from the Devil]

      And you found that in the Bible? Possibly it's there . I'd like to know where.

    • Jacq... it's in the bible. I'm not familiar with verses, I suck at memorizing, but I don't think we should be bringing up morals for advice. Not everyone sees porn the same way. However, I do believe that something as addictive as porn can affect you. It can conflict with your daily schedule, your loved ones, and become worse with time. You have to admit, perhaps one of the reasons this boyfriend is watching it is because he thinks he "deserves" to. That's what I'm getting at.