I can't orgasm without a vibrator :(

My boyfriend was going down on me last night and he asked me if I had ever hit orgasm with a man before. Sadly I haven't. After I told him that he was determined to get me to orgasm. I kept feeling like he was getting close...my legs would twitch and I would get hot but then the feeling would just stop. I just couldn't reach it... :( I think that he felt bad because he wouldn't let me finish him...I told him that we could play around with a vibe and that he felt amazing but I didn't know why I couldn't reach it. Help? I want to so badly but I don't know what is wrong with me :/

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • If you are comfortable with someone and trust them it will be easier. Also the majority of females can not acheive orgasm without clitoral stimulation and/or G-spot manipulation.Show him how to bring you off, use your hands, toys what ever you need to, give him a show and set him to it. Of course if you do not know how or what gets you off you can not tell or show someone else. Therefore find you a day with no interruptions and take a bath and spend a little while exploring your body and the feelings it gives you. It is not dirty or wrong.Use a toy or CLEAN fruit like a cucumber or any other phallus shaped item that is not sharp, clean and remember you can use a condom on a toy for any reason.My wife needs multiple sources of stimulation. Sometimes it is her cervix being hit/bumped, or her clitoris. After she has a couple good orgasms I tend to hit her G-spot.During oral sex let him use hos mouth and a vibe at the same time...Hope that my answers help you (and him) and that you do not take offense to a male and an old one at that answering your question. Someone had an issue with my age, and another said that it is inappropriate for one of my 'advanced years' to answer her question. Her age range was 18-24.Have fun, experiment and enjoy.

    • One need not be "in their prime" to know the answers to many questions. It is ridiculous for people to belittle the quality of an answer by the age of the one answering. In fact, older people have had the time to see more and experience more (not saying all have used that time the same). The answers many young people give might change with age when they discover there is much they did not know. Age usually has experience beyond the younger set. At least listen.

    • Thanks for that, so many people here see an age not the person or what they are capable of. Personally I might be 41 but I feel as though I in in my twenties. Still pull all nighters, prefer cold pizza from the night before and love to go by my moms and mooch a free dinner cooked for me. Well in my defense she is an Italian and the woman is ALWAYS cooking! Anyways, thanks!

    • nonsense! 41 is still part of a man's prime.

What Guys Said 10

  • I lived with a girl that never really got off unless she used a vibrator. There was nothing wrong with her, it's just what got her where she wanted to go. She had a slender one, about the size of a pen, that she inserted anally ( or I did it for her) when I f***ed her, and it really made things better for her. More often than not, one of us used a "rabbit" on her when she went down on me, and we both had "happy endings" LOL. Toys are great.

  • Ask if you could use it when together

  • I think using a vibrator is great...your pleasure is just as important as his!

  • try not using a vibrator for a few weeks.or look in a mirror while you tow are in action.

  • For many women the amount of stimulation doesn't matter as much as your mental state, and how realxed your mind and body are. You might need to make foreplay last longer...change the atmosphere or place. I've even heard of people turning the wash machine to the spin cycle (for vibration) and having the guy sit on top the machine while the girl sits on him...never tried it myself..lol. I'm sorry you're going through this...and good luck.

  • You aren't comfortable enough with him. Or you had too much on your mind. Have him do it when you are sick or very tired. You are naturally more relaxed then and more inclined to get an orgasm. Heck, have him eat you out while using the vibrator on you to ease the transition.

  • 20 years of playing the clarinet seemed to solve that problem for me, seriously, I think a lot of guys are really gentle when it comes to oral, which is nice to start of with, but it takes quite some effort to lick fast and keep the tongue "hard".

  • Don't have sex and don't even touch yourself straight for a week and then you'll have an exploding orgasm!

  • Nothing "wrong" with you. You just need to experiment more to find out what indeed gets you off. Other than a vibrator. Also, don't put so much pressure on yourself to orgasm. Sex should just be about having fun, it's not about an end results ( orgasm ). Then you'll enjoy yourselves more and probably be able to achieve orgasm easier since you're in the moment and not in your head as much thinking about coming.

  • It's not your fault, lots of girls are like this, you should google it because I'm confuzzled

What Girls Said 2

  • Help? I want to so badly but I don't know what is wrong with meI don't think anything is wrong with you as many gals can't orgasm without a vibrator. Often times oral/manual and intercourse don't provide enough stimulation for a gal to orgasm.Likely there will be something wrong with your relationship as it seems guys react negatively to not being the one to make her orgasm which is amusing to me when guys consider gals orgasms her own responsibility.

  • First, try not to focus on the orgasm. Enjoy all the little sensations, and let yourself relax as much as possible. You're going to need to teach him what it takes to get you off, so let him know exactly what he does that gets you closer, and what not to do. It'll take some time for you guys to get in sync.

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