Why does my friend with benefits cuddle with me after sex?

[Anonymous]

I've known this guy for a few years, but we only recently started being friends with benefits. We don't hook up often, but when we do, I usually come over, we do it, and then he puts on a movie and either lays on/near me or cuddles. This is not how I thought friends with benefits were not suppose to be.

[Gustafsone12584]

I'm the one that doesn't agree with the hole aspect of "friends with benefits". It's easier to f*** someone, than to try to have a real relationship. But with this website I'm not going to judge, but to help you find the reasonable explanation to the question at hand.

I believe, and this is just my view on the subject, but I think he's having some form of feelings for you. As your last response said "it makes me think they're dating, but haven't put a label on it." So to some degree it's the facts that sex can make feelings happen. Sex, isn't just sex, but a chemistry both parties have. I doubt you'd screw anyone else that your not somewhat attracted to, and have some form of feelings for.

So it comes down to what I addressed, is that I think he's having some form of feelings for you. Hell if I'd be screwing someone, I'd have some feelings myself. If you don't have any feelings after, then I think there's something wrong, (forgive me for saying, but mentally).

[Apope16]

friends with benefits is relationship jr. Itbis the beginning stage of a legit relationship before you know each well enough to date. The guy likes you as a girlfriend and is either in denial or is afraid responding right away will end the sex you are already having.

[Mixed]

Did you hang out much before you became friends with benefits, or watch movies and stuff? If you did then I would say that he is just doing what you both are used to, and you guys just added the benefits... However if it's all new then maybe he is starting to feel something.. Because usually there is no cuddling or movie watching... Because in my opinion that are leads to feelings.. After listening to my guy friends, if they just want the " benefit" the staying afterward wouldn't happen..

[Asker]

We only would watch movies in his room or workout together. And when we watched movies we wouldn't even sit close to each other. Now it is totally different, and so like after we have sex we watch a movie and cuddle. He says he cares for me. What I don't understand is why he cares about my health and wants me to stop some of my bad habits.

[Mixed]

He told you he cares for you.. When someone does that it's only natural that they don't want anything bad to happen to you. So that's why he probably wants you to change your bad habits, because he cares. I mean you can care about friends, but now that sex is evolved it changes things... After a while of something being just sex, feelings or emotions are going to be felt.. Since you guys were friends 1st, feelings happen faster.sounds more serious then you're willing to admit to yourself

[Asker]

i guess I justcat magin that he actually likes me for more than just sex.One reason I feel this way is because he doesn't like to be seen in public with me because he's afraid of what others may think, and also, his friends don't like me.

[Mixed]

Do you know why his friends don't like you? Is it justified ? There has to be some type of emotional reason why he due any want to be seen in public with you... Obviously he's attracted to you, otherwise no sex.. And it's not like it was a one time thing... At this point you need to figure out what you want.. More then friends with benefits? You don't have to rush into anything, just see what happens and take it slow , but you should talk to him..whatever you decide be true to yourself..

[Asker]

They don't like me because I'm black. I've never met them before yet they say mean things about me to him, but he defends me. This entire arrangement is confusing; I just want to be close to him and be really good friends. I'm not looking for a relationship at this time. Also,I refered to him as my "buddy", and I think he got offended or something. Why is that? oh, and one other question, after sex, just as I'm about to leave, why does he look into my eyes hug me and kiss me ?

[Mixed]

Wow in this day and age that's a f'ed up reason not to like someone, but at least he defends you..he got offended by you calling him a buddy because he feels more serious about you then you think..all of the things about looking into your eyes, the hugs and kisses before you leave is because he truly care for you..it's not just like at this point.. Maybe he thought that the arrangement would change into a relationship .. Make sure he know your intentions. He's falling hard for you..

[Asker]

wow. I feel something for him too. I'm just afraid of showing it cz I feel like he will turn me down or something. Yah I wish his friends werent so racist tho. I guess I won't call him buddy anymore. If he indicates to me that he wants to be in a relationship, then I will give it a try. If what you say is right, then now all the things he does are starting to kind of make sense to me. Thanks for your help! ;-)

[Mixed]

Its a great thing when you find someone who makes you truly happy and you have fun with.. So if that happen with you guys , don't loose it. I wouldn't talk about any other guys in front of him either..in some way or another I would let him No that you like him too... Maybe initiate those looks he gives you.. Something so he knows your interested..if your starting to feel for him he needs to know do he doesn't walk away.. Your welcome and good luck :)

[Anonymous]

He is enjoying the benefits of having a woman around him, you know without the "bitching or the nagging." Let the man live!

[JamesHowlettt]

His benefit with you is also cuddling and I think that is very sweet.

[phonezoo]

You sound like my friend who just recently broke up with his girlfriend and the girl he's supposedly "just f***ing". They cuddle afterward like you two, it makes me think they're dating but haven't put a label on it

[JMJ1983]

There aren't any rules to it :) Just do what feels just right.