I had sex with my best guy friend... now what should I do?

[L-in-the-sky-with-D]

"Ralph" and I have been best friends for the past two years. We're both young- 19 and single. We tell each other everything! We've hooked up before, but never gone all the way because 1) I obviously don't do that with my "friends" and 2) I thought it would ruin our friendship. Finally it happened. The question is what to do now? Like I mentioned before we're SUPER close attracted to each other physically, mentally whatever but I don't feel any different & I don't know if he does. Should we talk about it or drop it? Are we friends with benefits now or can we ever be "just friends" again? GUYS I need your opinion and GIRLS your stories. I don't want to dwell on this much longer so I need to know if I should just let this go cause I will. I don't want a bf(commitment problem) but I could see myself being his gf... I just definitely don't want to lose him as a friend! Please HELP! What should I do? Thanks for reading, thanks for caring! oh and p.s. the very next morning(!), his friend was trying to get at me and he knew and didn't say shit! matter?

[here4you]

well I think you should be his girlfriend

i think ur just afraid cause of ur recent exp. with guys

and they were prob asshol*s to you

cause you said "SUPER close attracted to each other physically, mentally whatever" so y not go out with him?

and def talk about it cause most likely he feels the need to speak about it as well

cause ur his best friend and such

if you don't there will always be that weird chemistry between you two.

and do not let go at all

cause you both will be hurt and will lose each others best friend

but talk to him and see if he wants to continue the relationship as

boyfriend and girlfriend

but do NOT become friends with benefits cause when that eventually ends

u most likely won't be friends and e more (from my experience)

cause this is what happens

iin the beginning you both like it and think this is the best thing in the world

how you can still have sex yet flirt with other people

but soon enough one of you will want more (meaning relationship) (most of the time the girl-sorry for stereo typing)

and the other most likely will not want to

and then the girl will keep on being friends with benefits

thinking she will eventually make "ralph" crack and become

a couple

but that doesn't happen

well in reality at least

but make sure you do one thing

if you become a couple is that you don't end on bad terms

because if you do then you won't become friends after that

and after ur become a couple ur relationship with him will never be the same

idk in a bad way or a good way

its up to you 2 to figure that out

good luck =)

[here4you]

Thank you =)

[jacquesvol]

No use crying over spilled milk: no way of undoing it. Would you like to do it again or not?

3 possibilities: accept it and forget about it, become his girlfriend or his FWB.

Tell him you definitely don't want to lose him as a friend.

Don't shy away from him.

Think about condoms & the pill.

And get Plan B in your First Aid.(just in case)

As for his friend, well, boys too do talk.. his friend might be wondering how he has to treat you: as his friend, his girlfriend or as "just a friend"

Let him wonder (or not, up to you)

[InesRoberts]

Well, if you see him as your bf, then I think you like him very much and you see him as more than just a friend. My guess is, you are afraid to lose him if your relationship should ever end because of some problems?

And I suggest you two should talk about it. Don`t just drop it girl! That will make it harder for you two to act normal. Especially since you had sex with him. Talk about it, at least you will know what he wants and what color he sees through his glasses.

I don't really believe in a real friendship between a girl and a boy. There is this natural attraction. Even if you don`t feel it first, it will come later on. This is how nature is.

Maybe you will not agree on this one. But my experience is that a boy-girl friendship always has a smell. Either he has feelings for her but can't get her and shuts up about his feelings and just keeps her as a friend. Or the other way around.

Maybe friendship with a guy is possible, if he is gay. I had a gay-friend once, he was the best friend I had. And I never felt like he was a threat, if you know what I mean. With all the other male friends I had, I found out they had feelings for me. I did have some good friends though...who had girlfriends already...so, you could say there are exceptions.

That is my opinion according to my experience. Maybe I am wrong? But we all learn from each other. That`s the beauty of communication. Even through this great website!

[L-in-the-sky-with-D]

What you say is soo true! I know from my experience as well boy-girl friendships do get... strange. I realized that I do care for him very much- love him -like all my good friends and family but I'm definitely not IN love with him. You know? So your right I am going to talk to him! I don't see why not if we are "best" friends and all. :) thanks so much! I know I love this site <3

[InesRoberts]

Happy I could help :-) yeah tell me about it, I love this site soooooooo much!!!

[dave216]

Well do what you want to do. Having sex should not alter the state of world affairs. Just go on with life as usual, you do not have to now change anything. He was your friend, I can't imagine why he would not still be your friend. You are putting too much thought into this, it was just sex.

[L-in-the-sky-with-D]

Thanks I needed that reassurance. I know it was just sex but I don't know what I WOULD do if he wanted something more cause I don't. And for the past 6 months I thought he did... but maybe he just wanted the sex haha anyways the point of the post is if I should even bring it up... just to be sure we're on the same page. Believe it or not maybe he doesn't feel that it was just sex cause I have my suspicions! Am I right?

[dave216]

You may well be right, but why worry about it before it happens? Why not continue to behave as usual and if he brings it up, deal with it then. It very well may never happen. If he does bring it up, just discuss it honestly with him and accept the consequences in an adult manner. Males handle rejection better than females, were more used too it, he will get over it quickly so don't be afraid to be honest with him.

[l-hedoniste]

You know what you want to do, and why you want to do it. You just need permission.

Let him know he's a booty call today but you could get serious tomorrow. Once he agrees--and he will--you're set.

[L-in-the-sky-with-D]

Hahah :)