Sexual Relationships
+1 y

I can't orgasm. I think I feel it coming, then it disappears. Help?

The only way that I can get closer to orgasm is in the shower, lying down, with the streams hitting my girlie parts. I am in no rush, I do what feels good, have good thoughts in my head. Just as I'm starting to feel a "warmth" spread up through my stomach, breathing quickens, and my vagina contracts around my fingers... the sensation turns into a weird, unpleasant "intensity" (that's not really the word I'm looking for, but it'll work), and then everything just trickles off. That can't be an orgasm. And I don't know what to do. Please don't tell me to relax, give it more time, get better images in my head, etc. I do all of those things, and also don't pressure myself into "I NEED to come now". Thanks.
Updates:
+1 y
Just to add, a few times I've tried to stop the vagina contractions because I think that that might be playing a part in it, for some reason. I could be wrong.
+1 y
Thanks to the guys that answered! Are there any girls who have any insight, though? (since you all will have had more direct experience)
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • It sounds like you actually are having an orgasm, but just getting too sensitive when it starts to keep going (you will have involuntary contractions when you orgasm). I think that most people get really sensitive like that...for some it happens during orgasm and for others afterward. I would suggest that when you start to get that intense feeling, try stimulating different areas or with a different angle, so that it isn't so intense. Personally I also get super-sensitive when I start to orgasm, and I find that the best ways to get through it are by either changing to a less intense form of stimulation or just stopping once the contractions start. And for the record, some orgasms can feel pretty amazing, but there's a pretty wide range, it's not always like in the movies!

  • Do you play with your clit or just finger yourself? In my own personal experience I can't come just from fingering alone I also have to stimulate my clitoris, it gets pretty intense and sometimes a little not painful, but very sensitive. I just keep going anyways & I always come sooner or later, also when you feel your about to come (in the shower) try turning the water on a hotter temp, sometimes it helps me to finish, also my vagina contracts when I cum. I'm pretty sure all girls do... So maybe you can one and didn't realize it, they don't last for very long ya know...

    • I position myself under the water streams... so even though I'm not playing with it (which never feels that great when I do it), it is getting stimulated, lol. Thanks for the advice. And I know they don't last very long... but everything just immediately stops after a couple seconds, and I never quite reach what others describe.

Most Helpful Guys

  • If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

    Sounds like you came to me. Some women are not very intense 'cummers' from my range of girlfriends responses.

    They have run the gamut from a little 'oooh, that was nice' to a doubling over, teeth clenching grimace like I thought they were going to die! 8-) It was not my impression I might add that the mild climaxers enjoyed their orgasm any less than the ones who almost bucked me off the bed.

  • Vaginal contractions could very well be part of the orgasm, my ex used to have vaginal contractions when she orgasmed, could feel it on my penis, also on my finger when I would finger her to one, so you may very well have had one, and if you had it in the shower then any wetness due to cumming would be hidden by the water. Just a thought.

    • I don't know... maybe. When the contractions start everything that I was enjoying prior (which doesn't last too long) to them just starts going away, and if I continue it feels really bad. People say you'll know when you orgasm, and it is never an "I know!" moment.

    • Maybe just continue and see what happens if you keep going, I can understand, sometimes I get to a point when I am almost there and then just get too tired as it has taken too long etc. I am not saying it is a sign you may have orgasmed but some of what you said fits with the experiences I had with my ex who was one who always came, sometimes even without my help. But she definitely had vaginal contractions, but remember everyone is different .

    • Alright, thank you. I'll keep at it.

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Is it true that female pussies come in different shapes and sizes?
If you want a man to go down on you, how do you approach him? What do you do to let him know you want him to go down on you?
Why is forbidden sex the most intimate and sensual sex?
This sexy and very masculine looking woman, left me a vulgar, yet very erotic reply. Should I report her or do you think she is interested in me?

What Girls & Guys Said

0 2

  • I know a few tricks

  • Good question..Keep the feeling going

    • I try to keep the feeling going, but it gets to the point where it just doesn't feel good anymore (no matter what I do.)

Latest Questions

Is it better to be with someone on your sexual experience level?
Why do enjoy giving or receiving facials?
Do you think a woman who approves of casual sex can love a man the same way a woman who saves herself for the right man?
How many times a week does a single man masturbate?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > I can't orgasm. I think I feel it coming, then it disappears. Help?