Why Can't I Make Him Cum?

Sometimes We Have Sex For Hours And Still He Won't Cum. I End Up Giving Up Because I Start To Take It Personally Like Somethings Wrong With Me . I Am In My Twenties , Never Had Kids , Already Know About The Squeeze Technique , Where You Contract Your Muscles , Only Been With Like Eight Guys Ever . He Is Average In Size . Also Masturbates A lot . I'm Worried That I Feel To Loose Inside There . But It Just Doesn't Make Sense Why I Would Be . Is There Anything I Can Do . I Use To Be Able To Make Previous Boyfriend Cum Way Quick .

Updates:
Do You Feel Like You Have To Work Harder To Achieve An Orgasm If The Girl Is Not Tight ? Won't That Kinda Make You Not Look Forward To It As Much As You Would If It Was Teen Age Tight ?
 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • if he is masturbating, that will not give him the ability to cum. his sensation scale is dulled. Tell him to stop pleasuring himself so that you can do it for him more often. if he rather masturbate than be with you, then you guys need to talk about that and may want to think about where you are really heading with this relationship. But for now, just focus on pleasuring yourself with him and cumming yourself, then when you feel satisfied, stop and don't worry about making him cum.. focus more on your needs rather than needing to please others.. there might be something here that you need to work on - emotionally.. but you gotta ask yourself that , no one knows that but you.

What Guys Said 30

  • I looked a bit more and this link could help you understand: retarded ejaculation link

    • You'll have a lot to read there - but delving deeper in the site it turns out to be commercial :-P and I CAN'T CONDONE THAT!! Take the information provided but don't pay!!

  • could he be taking some medicine (or drug?)

    • If you look around among the questions here, you'll discover that it happens to others too.He can have been afraid of coming to early or to ejaculate in you (or his ex!) -having sex without proper birth control and counting on retracting in time- and develloped a reflex blocking his own orgasm (about the inverse of a premature ejaculation) He has a problem there but in any case you're not at fault.

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    • NOPE.HE DOESN'T TAKE ANY SORT OF PILLS OR MEDICATION.HE SMOKES SPEED THOUGH.

    • Uses speed, and you think that's not a drug? SPEED IS A DRUG.Get him of it, back to normal.

  • I agree with jacquesvol. There has to be some sort of pill he's taking or medicine. I've even heard of some natural viagra that some men can take. It makes them last for a few hours more.

    • I was rather thinking along the line of a numbing drug (cannabis) or medicine (anti-depressants, sleeping pills,anti-epileptics), alcohol and/or an (acquired) automatism which blocks his orgasm, primary develloped to increase the girl's pleasure or to replace proper birth control and which has become a reflex. (fr the carezza links I gave)This would have been more easy to develop if he masturbates frequently. I've been looking on the www but there's not much on male anorgasmia at first view:(

    • Look under "retarded ejaculation" too.

  • its NOT that big a deal . Cumming is over rated. Its that dis satisfaction that will lead to caress and love, never ending.so don't worry so much.

  • Only 8, holy.

  • Sorry but you're loose. This happened with an ex-girlfriend of mine. The only reason I had sex with her was as a courtesy, and I did not enjoy it. For a solution you might try some Kegel exercises. What are they? Simple: next time you pee, stop it. Then start it. Then stop it. Do this every time nature calls and in a short while it will feel like you've only had sex with six guys, still quite a few but hey you're on the way there! If you were a guy we'd probably call you 'Quagmeyer' and not want to drink after you.

    • Huh?" not want to drink after me?" uh..what does that mean?.

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    • I am shocked as well.

    • Im having the same prob but I was a virgin beforee I met him and I know I'm tight< without a condome I hurt him. 8 people is not a lot for some one in there 20s. I think its bull sh*t that a woman is autommaticly sluty or loose because she's had a decent amount of partners.

  • umm try touching his balls lol. Also, make sure he does not masturbate for a couple of days lol that would help to oh maybe you should find someone who is bigger to if his size is that much of a problem to you

  • Can be simply the position, he may have issues with sensation or he may have a psychological reason.I don't want you to take offense to this but maybe he just can't get off on you alone, maybe try putting some porn on as maybe he finds sex a bit of a hassle.Ask him to be blunt honest with you if there is a problem, you must promise to not take offense, it may upset you but you will do whatever you can to fix the problem.Sometimes you just need to find the right position for him, sometimes it will be a position that only works for him but maybe not you.If indeed it is that you just aren't tight enough then usually a good position will see to that or you can get treatment for it,Before treatment make sure you try a lot of Kegel exercises (google "Kegel exercises" for more) and if you have done that rigourously and it's still failing to tighten enough then talk to your doctor as there may be trouble with your muscles that require a series of appointments at hospital whereby an electric current is applied to the muscles to help tighten them (sounds scarier than it actually is), this usually works wonders.Remember before you go to the doctor make sure the problem is with you first otherwise you both may need to speak to the doctor on what can be done to help him reach climax.

  • There can be TONS of reasons, and the LEAST likely one is you.He may be stressed out about something outside or inside of the relationship, fear of pregnancy: I can guarantee you, though, that it is something going on inside of his head that is 'holding it in' ;)The best thing to do, if it is as important to you as it seems, is to talk to him about it. Make sure he is comfortable with the entire situation, work through it TOGETHER. If there is one other thing I can recommend it is not to get frustrated if he doesn't have an answer - there is a good chance he didn't consider what the issue is.Best,Brian

    • Or maybe the MOST likely reason is her. :)

  • try giving him a blowjob. he'll come if he's not gay.

  • jojowriter got it tell him not to whack off for 2 weeks and you can't get him off in between then and have the best sex ever...hell cum...also I personally can't come at all no matter how long its been if I use a condom...if that's the case with him take off the condom and suck him off...also get wild do things that turn him on tell him you want him to come surprise him tell him you want his come or you want it in your mouth very few guys wouldn't explode after that...

  • Do you know if he had this problem before? My guess is that he just has this problem for some reason or another, and it may have nothing to do with you.

  • try getting to him before he masturbates

  • Sounds very much like the problem is with him. Try something different. Do you suck him before sex? Suck him, act really slutty. Shock him with how slutty you can be. Have sex in a different place. It doesn't have to be in bed. Do it in the daytime without covering. Leave your curtains open etc. etc. If he doesn't come faster, then maybe you should ask him why.

  • man I jerk off a lot and I have no problem having sex with my girlfriend she does the right tricks and I come

  • You've been with 8 guys in your early twenties... doesn't help. He masturbates a lot which probably includes before he was with you that same day... a problem. He may have a bad diet not eating properly before sex... a possible problem. You may be not doing enough advance work... Some guys especially heavy masturbaters need to be turned on visceraly, because when they're watching porn they're wiring has been wound up in such a way where they have like sexual A.D.D unless a girls hits that spot for them they have to work harder to be turned on. For guys like that a lot of what makes them orgasm isn't necessarily your physical touch its how stimulated they are mentally by you..basically you have to play with them more.A couple of suggestions...1. If you think he masturbated earlier in the day try having sex right after he eats something.2. Try early morning sex after he's slept for a good amount of time. Always great for me.3. let him start the sexual interaction when he's ready.4. he's gotta cut down on the masturbating that will kill your relationship.

    • Im 29yrs old

  • maby he's circumcised like me I don it like 3 hours and still not cummed .. I feel like a freaking virgin !

    • Circumcision doesn't change it that much. Only by a few minutes SOMETIMES, so that's obviously not it.

    • Oh I beg differ you loose so much sensation according to a guy friend of mine but here's the things. he's probably using to climaxing to jerking off so you just need to get him used to sleeping with you instead and drinking and drugs can also take the wind out of his sails. blowjobs and no condoms are the typical things guys ask for but be safe.

  • He might not be that into it or he might not be able to cum

  • You seriously need to read this ---> link

  • i jack off a lot and then I can't keep it up during sex soo I made her jerk it off for me... uhhmm but usually I'm high or drunk idk

  • 8 isn't bad it's like 1 a year over 8yrs. Try new things. It's not really how tight or lose you are. But first ask him why he doesn't

  • It kinda does make sense that you're loose inside since you have been with 8 guys, not sure who told you that was a small number, but he's probably just getting tired of you.

    • Well it's not a large number...

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    • Oh no you're absolutely right, a series of 6 or more penises would definitely not make her loose... So what do you girls think that it doesn't matter how many guys you have sex with, you'll still be as tight as you were for the first guy? That's just a complete asinine thought process and utterly incorrect.

    • She's 29? Shup, you virgin? Since when are you a girl? If you've probably only slept with the one girl then you wouldn't know that CHILDBIRTH would make a big difference in how loose or tight she is.. Girls are tight until they've had sex about 5 times.. Then they're at average size.. It doesn't matter how many guys or what size they are.. Unless she shoved a bus up there, it'll expand and contract.. Dela, you need to get off the internet and go f*** 7 or 8 people.. I think these girls shud no..

  • I think you have it backwards, I don't think you can give an orgasm, you can only have an orgasm. This said, I think you should stop feeling guilty, if there's been attempts on your part to turn him on and satisfy him, the rest is up to him, to figure out his body is his duty, not yours.That being said though, I have a hunch this friend has some issues with his energy levels, perhaps something is on his mind, or maybe a medicine he's taking, even stress, whatever it is, something lowering his arousal level, again this is not your issue, but his. There's a book I would recommend, "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" present him with this, you might be surprised at the results.XDBest of luck~!

  • I have no idea what could be wrong with this guy. He must be masturbating a lot in his personal time or having too much sex. Give the sex a little break and then make him work for getting in your pants. Tease him quite a bit and then give it to him after he has been aroused for awhile. I would say more foreplay before sex would do it.

  • has he turned gay?

  • some guys just last a long time. first time I ever had sex I lasted 2 hours (and I didn't masturbate much) and my girlfriend was almost gonna cry cause she thought I wasn't attracted to her. we were both virgins at the time and I guess she had heard from her friends that girls last longer than guys and that it will probably only last 20 min or less. some guys can just last and its not you fault. just ask him what he likes, but also try and get him to masturbate less often.all I can do is suggest you try doing other things before you actually have sex, make out for a while, then kiss him all over his neck to start, rub his crotch while your kissing him, as soon as he gets hard reach into his pants and start giving him a hand job, after a while start taking off your own cloths, after each piece comes off go back to the handjob for a little while just to keep him erect, when ur naked rub yourself as you give him a hand job (this will really turn him on) at this point he will probably be trying to take off his cloths...let him, but keep your hand on his crotch and keep it going. when your both naked go down on him use you hand and mouth, focusing your mouth on the head and moving your hand nice and quick, then after a while start having sex. shouldn't take him to long after that.

    • Alright I want to pull the bull card no man last 2 hours there first time.

    • I guess I'm just not normal

  • It might be because you awkwardly capitalize the first letter in EVERY word.

  • Do more foreplay, and try different positions.

  • If a girl is not tight , it makes it harder for me to come , and sex is not as much fun...I can make my Girlfriend come 3 times in 20 mins and I love to do it - but it really upsets her that she cannot make me come quickly and could be going at it a while..Hey ... it's blunt but honestStal

  • he may have delayed ejaculation, which is an actual medical condition. and the really there is no set cure for it... but one thing you could do (its not pretty but it may work) is have him masturbate with you there and then when he is about to come you start working on him.(you may have to work on the timing, but eventually it may work)

What Girls Said 13

  • blow him in between? helps...

  • Anti-depression drugs make it so guys really can't cum. If your worried that your to loose there are exercises that can tighten you up. Plus it's a muscle it doesn't stretch to much it does retract obviously. But make sure he's sober have a lot and I mean a lot of fore play, give head, find the spots that turn him on the most and make sure you hit them when your doing it. If you really want to make him come play a "game". Or tell him to not masturbate if he won't stop don't have sex for a while like a week and make sure you still tease the sh*t out of him trust me it'll work

  • Its not you. Its him. It could be drugs, drinking or like a lot people said he masturbates too frequently. Change positions, take longer in foreplay. I have had two kids and my husband can still come in a few minutes.

  • well a guy who masturbates a lot starts to lose the excitement while having the actual sexi would suggest talking to him about it

    • Umm, no. Masturbation is one outlet for sexual release, but intercourse is different, not better. Some things excite a guy when he's spanking off, while other things work on him during foreplay and intercourse.

  • idk my I've never came b4. never heard of a guy not cumming tho=[is he turned on?

  • all I know is that the less he masturbates, the easier it will be to make him come.

  • maybe its because he masturbates too much.

  • Mix it up a little. Try some different positions, talk dirty to him, etc. Ask him what he likes, what he'd like to try, etc.

  • When me and my boyfriend first started having sex he couldn't come either, I was his first and first he found it a little bit painful but eventually it turned out to be psychological, so it might be a mindset of your man.

  • I have a similar problem with my BF. In his case, I think it actually relates to a medical condition. I used to think it was just me too, but I came to realize it was not my problem. Never once in the past did I have trouble making another cum. Talking to him about it should put your mind at ease. There are several reasons this can happen, the least likely is you. If he is an honest person and values your relationship, then he will let you know what's going on. Some guys just have a whole lot of stamina.

  • Some guys are tough girl. And that's the answer to your question. I've had guys come quickly and some take time. Ask him how he gets himself off and maybe he can show you some techniques. If you're able to suck him off, maybe that's the trick right there. As for being loose...um, you can't help it. Some are tight and some aren't. But ya, ask him what he does to get himself off and see whether he can give you some pointers as to how to help him come for you.

  • Because you have horrible typing skills, that's why.

    • Oh yeah? well if your gonna talk $hIt , at least have the balls to say who you are.

    • Seriously that's so mature, she's just asking a question. If you don't have an answer or the balls to say it without being anonymous don't respond

  • try to make him stop masturbating and try to change things up with him like role playing.

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