Why are men surprised when I tell them I'm a lesbian?

[Anonymous]

I guess I am a stereotypically pretty girl. I have a nice face and figure and I look very "straight" and not butch at all. Guys always assume I'm straight. When I tell them I'm a lesbian they are always surprised and some try to tell me that I must be straight or bisexual or that being me being a lesbian is a waste. How is that a waste at all?! Some ask if I have ever had sex with a man before (I haven't) and then they say how do I know I'm a lesbian if I've never tried a man before. How would they know what I like better than I do? Whenever girls find out I'm a lesbian they have no problem with it. Why should guys care if I prefer women over them, it's not like I go around saying all men are gross. I just like girls and girls only, I can't help that. Why should some men get personally offended when an attractive woman prefers the company of another woman over them?

[MrOracle]

Very simply, most men aren't used to seeing lesbians that are attractive to them (outside of porn). The majority of lesbians cultivate an androgynous appearance, if not outright butch, so not many are femme in a way that's typically attractive to men.

And some men have tiny little brains that, when aroused, can't imagine a woman not being likewise attracted to him - no matter what. And some of them are going to be persistent, because being persistent has shown to work a good portion of the time (lots of straight women play "hard-to-get" and force men to be persistent as a show of genuine interest).

Of course, you are only experiencing the relative few guys who approach you, and not the majority who understand that lesbians can be traditionally attractive and (gasp!) may not be interested in men.

[talloak]

I think it's more a misunderstanding of lesbians than a misunderstanding about you. I suspect that they assume that some women are lesbians because they are not attractive enough to attract men, as if it were a matter of "settling". Think about how many straight women in politics are accused of being lesbians because they are strong and not especially attractive? It's a pretty vicious stereotype. There is a parallel notion about gay men being to weak to attract women. Which is funny considering how many gays have close female friends. These neanderthals need to meet more pretty lesbians like you to see that their beliefs are rather insulting.

[Anonymous]

When people think of the stereotypical lesbian, they think of her as being less feminine. That's why they ask if you're at least bisexual. I guess some men are conceited enough to think that being attractive and feminine is for the pleasure of men only, and that if you do look stereotypically pretty that you must like or be with men. Being honest, if I were to meet a stereotypically pretty girlie type girl I would be surprised if I found out she was lesbian. I know lipstick lesbians exist, but my mind immediately goes to the androgynous types or the studs.

But the guys who get upset and offended are the same ones who get butthurt when any woman rejects them

[gstubb048]

I feel you sister. The weird part is, I'm more butch and guys STILL have that reaction, like yeah! No shit! The girl who dresses and acts like a dude is a lesbian! Oh my god, grow a brain!! I think guys just feel challenged by girls who like girls because they can't "conquer" them. It's always this type of guy who gets weird about it, sweet and respectful guys don't really care because they're not worried about proving themselves.

[peachblossomluck]

This is just a reflection on how ignorant and entitled some people can be. You know what you like. Everyone wants a pretty lady so be prepared for people to get all butthurt when they don't stand a chance. I hope you find the woman of your dreams:)

[Stacyzee]

It's not that they don't believe you, it's just that they want you to be straight (for them), so they can at least have a chance.

[Stacyzee]

It's like finding out the lobster dinner you've wanted is all gone because the person before you ordered it.

[Jonny_]

It's not, they're still trying to hit on you... Saying it's a waste and they're surprised is all supposed to suggest that being straight (trying guys is something you should do), which is also why they say if you haven't had sex how would you know? Now to me, that shouldn't be heard as a question. I read that question as, I know you're a lesbian, but sleep with me anyway based on this bullshit.

[Hornyalot]

Are u interested in girls message me asap

[fairystail]

my friend is an asexual and guys treat her the same though with her its becAUSE they want in her pants. I can only assume its the same with the guys who treat you like that

[gotc147]

So can you give me some tips on attracting a woman?

[WaterNymph99]

You know what you should say the next time a guys asks you how you know if you've never had sex with a guy? Ask them if they're gay. If they say no, turn the question right back on them

[neveryoumind]

wow those questions are straight up disrespectful! and slighty disturbing!

[VeohTV]

Those guys wish you wasn't lesbian, so they can date you.

Will you answer this question I made on GAG? link

[AbdKilani]

Simple, ( I didn't read the description sorry)
Guys assume all grils are straight, specially the hot ones, that's only natural aumption after all.
Don't be bothered by that, take it as a compliment, both genders wants you.

[Anonymous]

just ask the if theyve had gay sex before and say how do you know you're not gay then? they just need to see if from the opposite perspective to realize although some people just think being gay is something you choose rather than something you're born as so it wouldn't change their opinion anyway

[Anonymous]

It's probably because you're attractive. There's a stereotype that many lesbians turn to lesbianism because they are not attractive and don't have success with men.

[Anonymous]

Are you pretty? Men have this stupid notion that hot women only like d*ck and will drop the panties for them.