Would it be a problem for you to date a girl you your friends gangbanged?

Question

I'm dating this a guy jay.. the first time i meant him , was on a crazy wild night... one thing lead to another an i ended up sleeping with him and he's buddies. i don't normally do yhings like that. ... Anyways in the morning We exchanged numbers and he texted me every day since.. He's super cute , totally fun to be around , he attends a great college.. everything about him excites me and i think  I'm falling for him hard.. i told him how i felt and he's respond was ""he cares about me and wants me in his life " .. he told me he doesn't want a relationship right now. but in the future it's possible.  he says he has high standers and i meet them. He always telling me I'm the hottest girl he's ever had. Ever morning I get a text from him saying " good morning sexiest  ! ...  If that's so true then why won't he in a relationship with me now. ... Do I just walk away when all the signs are pointing to the fact that he's using me? Do you think the way I meant him is whats stopping him from being with me? Would you date a girl who did that?

BarryO · Accepted Answer

No guy I know would ever consider dating a girl his mates had been with under those circumstances. Just the way the male ego is hard wired. Goes back to hard core genetics. In fact, I'd go as far as to say a lot if guys would rule you out just because you have had a gang bang , and many more if that GB was with their mates. But (good news), as guys get older (30s, 40s) someone's past becomes less and less relevant. So, young guys - no way- not ever. No matter how good looking you were. They may stay friends with you, friends with benefits situation OK, just no committed relationship. When you hit 30, you will find a lot more guys will start to tolerate a promiscuous past and some may even like it. It's to do with self esteem - guys become more comfortable with themselves , like girls, as they age and care less about someone's past. As a young guy, your GF is part of your self esteem, and if she had been "imprinted " by your mates there is the continual thought that you are sharing her - she isn't really yours - irrevocable due to the way males are wired.

My suggestion - either be comfortable with friends with benefits situation where he won't ever
Say you are his girlfriend but you still get to spend fun time with him, or cut and run and learn that drunken gang bangs have a cost. Personally, I'm OK with drunken gang bangs and if my 33 year old wife was at one with my consent and with me, I would still stay married because I love her. In reality , I wouldn't go to a drunken gang bang now. Have only tried once and wasn't really that into it - prefer 1:1 hot times :)

Agrojag · Accepted Answer

I would never date a girl who did that. The girl I date has to be special to me, and I won't share her with anyone. You've been all around and then some. I don't know any self-respecting man who would date a girl his friends gang-banged. Since you demeaned yourself in such a way, I can only assume he's using you for another lay. You aren't dating material in his eyes anymore.

Jbgurl20 · Accepted Answer

Don't want to judge you or anything but you did a very wrong thing when you slept with different guys. That guy who keeps texting you isn't really into you. He is just using you. He likes the sex, no doubt about that. If tou want someone to be serious with you then stop sleeping around and stop sleeping with different guys. Thay guy will never be serious with you cuz you made the sluttiest thing a girl could ever do, you did it with him and his friends. Imagine what he and his friends talk about behind you. Do you want to continue dating the guy knowing he and his friends are thinking you are a slut or something? I know you are just a person and we people makes mistakes. Don't do another mistake, leave this guy and cut any connection with him. tyou have to respect yourself. This guy uses you and doesn't really care for you, cuz if he does then he should have committed himself to you but he didn't and he doesn't even want a relationship.  You should find someone who truly respects you as a person and as a woman. I doubt this guy will respect you in the future, this gangbanging thing will eventually come out in the future and it will cause a huge fight and this will also cause of him treating you bad. To avoid this, leave him and do not talk to him again. He is not really interested in being your boyfriend. He just want to fuck you and use you. If you love yourself then do theright things for yourself, start it by avoiding that guy.

bethanyyy · Accepted Answer

He's using you.
Please have more respect for yourself, and DO NOT do things like that. You are cheapening yourself by doing that, and by doing that, you are communicating to them that you do not value yourself, or place a high standard on yourself. The way you act is the way they percieve you. And you acted like a slut, so they will only percieve you as a slut, especially this guy.
Think about it... when he finally thinks about making a comittment to a girl, he's going to choose someone who demands respect, someone he could see as his wife, and a mother to his children. And what man in his right mind would allow the girl he met and gang banged that same night the woman who brings up his kids?
WAKE UP and learn to respect yourself. You are special, you deserve respect, you are a human being, a beautiful strong woman who has a bright future ahead of her. So please, start acting like it.
And believe me... about this guy, and his friends: run for the hills. They're only going to use you.
Start a-fresh, respect yourself, and don't accept any less from anyone else.

lacelover20 · Accepted Answer

Maybe because you gang banged all his friends? Like no matter how hard you try to deny it guys arnt  going to  wanna date a girl who fucked him and all his friends. Yu say you dont normal do things like that but girls dont just jump from virgin mary to gang banging suzan. Obviously he most think yur a hoe and is probley wqnting you to catch feelings for him so he can bang you on the daily. He wouldn't wanna make you his girl and be to his friends " hey y'all this is amber you guys know her from the inside out litterly cux y'all all seen my bitches pussyy... no they want there friends to be a little jelly not thinking been there done that.. you miht of had a chance if you  didn't  make that stupid mistake but I dont know now, im calling not might be wrong but I highly doubt it,

amandalauren · Answer

He already used you and is just keeping you around. You slept with him the first night and his friends. Guys like a chase and you didn't give that to him. If he really liked you you would be in a relationship with him. I'm sorry to say and I don't want to hurt your feelings but he probably lost all respect for you that night and just likes having you to talk to and have sex with you anytime he wants.

stephx · Answer

Sorry but I think its very unlikely.. I know its hard but u need to snap out of it and dont let this guy use you.

linds34 · Answer

He liked the sex and wants to continue that, but he doesn't want to date you.  How many of his friends was it?

jesseray · Answer

I would very much like to be the sweetheart whose sexuality and romantic inclinations are so expansive that I would date a girl who did that, but in truth, it is not that expansive. I would not date a girl who did that. I suspect (with greater than 99% probability) that the guy you are trying to get with also would not date a girl who did that. It is almost certain that the guy is using you and you would do well to break it off with him. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

dipta · Answer

Seriously, none of you guys have high standards whatsoever.
Who cares if the guy wants a relationship with you (which he clearly doesn't)? You should be the one not wanting a relationship with him!

"He's super cute , totally fun to be around , he attends a great college"
There seems to be something wrong with your priorities.

Popnlock · Answer

I don't wanna upset you but Hell No! You did him and his friends thats something you don't forget and he won't forget... Imagine him and his friend have a argument and he says "oh yea, well I fucked your girl"  lol that's a big problem... Me personally it would bother me to know the people you banged are my friends but then again everyone doesn't have my standards... For now i think your the booty call he's working on

WassPoppin · Answer

"High standards" Gang bang. Lol

Metlahead · Answer

If he doesn't want a relationship with you right now then don't get into one with him. That doesn't mean you can't sleep with him (or his friends) anymore, do what you want. Don't let him "keep you one the hook" or anything though, but if he's being genuine in his words, then it seems like a pretty good place to be in actually. Date who you want, including him or not, if it isn't serious, he shouldn't care. And if he does care, maybe he does want a deeper relationship, but then you just have to make him admit it. Don't let yourself get hurt, and don't give him the upper hand. Most importantly here is to be an independent woman who knows what she wants. If you know what you want, it will be harder to be hurt, and impossible to be used. USE HIM haha. To answer your question though, yes I would still date you.

milettescheepers · Answer

Don't be hard on yourself everyone makes mistakes. And don't rush things. Youl end up chasing him away and believe me men run when girls do that, it takes 3-5 months for a relationship to develop without talking about what's happening. And once he starts with the I love you thing youl know he's ready for this relationship thing, but don't rush him or hel leave so quick that you won't even realise what happens. If it's meant to be it's meant to be, no matter how you met or what you did.

cavmanier · Answer

It would be hard to imagine wanting to be serious with a girl that I did in a gang bang. I'd have to think about this, but probably not. That's just not attractive.

DodgersGM · Answer

No, I would not. Just being honest with you, and I'm not trying to make you feel bad for it.

Eternallylucky · Answer

A guy can say the nicest things to you but does he really mean it though? i think he's saying  a lot  to you to maniipulate you into being his  friends with benefits  and a sex toy for his friends.

kangaru2 · Answer

After that incident, did he still have intimate session with you?
I don't want you to get hurt, I doubt he is sincere with you. Some guys are very smooth talkers and like to use sweet words to make girls fall for them. Since he is aware you had also slept with his buddies, he may not treat you seriously.

LemguinLunge · Answer

It ain't no fun if the Homies  can't  have none.

Love1982 · Answer

He is using you, accordingly ignore is the best solution

Eagledklw2 · Answer

I wouldn't be able to do date a girl I met that way. Nothing against you at all but I just wouldn't be able to get past that especially the fact the she had a gangbang with me the first night. I'm more of a traditional kind of guy though.

ShyButWillTry · Answer

Its a real long shot to think it can work considering the gang bang part. Sounds like he'll tell you what he thinks you want to here. Reverse roles, and ask the same question.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't want to.

Anonymous · Answer

NO! You are his sex toy. He enjoys knowing someone that gives up sex so easily is into him and does enough to keep you close. He is looking for a relationship. A sex based one; no feelings. Nothing more from him.