Sexual Relationships
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Boyfriend's p*rn preferences are upsetting?

So my boyfriend and I live together and we share a computer. Sometimes when I open it up, there's p*rn on there and I've noticed that he has a certain type that he goes for most often. He seems to like "tiny girls" and "tiny blonde teens". Unfortunately, we're both 24 (so I can never be a teen again) and while I am blonde, I'm tall and have big tits and a big ass so i could never be called "tiny" in any sense of the word. Our sex life is somewhat disappointing in that I initiate more than him and I get turned down more than I ever turn him down, but I get that guys are going to watch p*rn. My issue is that his "type" seems to be something I can never be (both teen and tiny). I would imagine that if i only watched BBC p*rn or only black guys he would be upset because a) his dick isn't as big and b) he can't change his race and become black. So I'm hurt that i can never be close to the people he fantasizes about. Wouldn't that bother guys too? Also, side note. it grosses me out that he watches the young teen girls (18 year old etc.) because his little sister is that age. doesn't that feel gross and pervy? his sister and her friends are the demographic he masturbates to. that majorly grosses me out. Thoughts?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • well for once I wouldn't say it's weird that is his sister is the same age. I'm attracted to guys that are 25 , tall with brown hair while I'm NOT attracted to my brother. 2 very different things

    Maybe I have a conservative view on p*rn but I can see why you're upset. If he only watches things that you are not, then you can't help but wonder why he chose to be with you. Have you ever asked him why he watches that kind of p*rn specifically.
    Then if you've ever tried to watch p*rn, it's hard to find something you like. Maybe it's not actually tiny or teen girls that turn him but innocence, school girl role play or whatever and he found he gets the best results when he searches for those key words. If you really want to know ask.

    On a side note, I find those teen fetishes a bit weird. I feel a lot of them say 18 years old for the sole purpose of avoiding a lawsuit. if they could they would probably go younger and sell better. If a woman is a attractive why does it matter how old she is unless you're into children?
    Not saying your boyfriend is, as I said there can be many reasons he searche for those particular things

    • i asked him. i asked if i only wanted to watch black guys in pornos wouldn't that be upsetting to him since he could never fulfill my fantasy? he said yes it would be upsetting, but still looks at amateur teen tiny girls. so these aren't p*rn stars either. just amateurs. when i look at p*rn, i look at it for the sex. the positions, the circumstances, the fantasy. he seems to be looking for a specific type. the only thing these videos and pictures have in common is the type of girl. it's much more specific and much more personal.

    • ok, I do think he's being very insensetive. I'm not really sure, but if you say your sex life isn't great either, have a conversation with him. Say his p*rn watching bothers you (at the very least he could watch it incognito) and you're not happy the way your sex life is going (say what exactly bothers you). Ask him if maybe they're related? If there are any other issues in the relationship say them too. And tell him you can't go on like that, you need it to change. Try not make it sound like you're accusing him and point out that you're willing to meet him half way if there is anything that bothers him about your sex life or the relationship in general How long have you been together? I don't know you, so I wouldn't want to advise anyone to break up, but it doesn't goo. If you're frustrated with something he does and he won't even acknowledge it, that's a probelm

    • together 1 year and like three months.

  • It's over 18's it's not child P*rnography so I wouldn't say it was Pervy. Sometimes I watch that myself and I'm certainly not a pervert. May it's the idea of innocence that is turning him on rather that them being "tiny", it maybe me a thing of masculinity a lot of men like tiny girls to feel big and powerful! This doesn't mean he doesn't love you and your body type. Fantasies are fantasies it's fine if that's what he likes to watch.

    • I mean I watch teens lol 18's not child p*rn lol

  • Lol at that last paragraph. As for the p*rn well fantasies are fantasies.

    The thing that is already a GET OUT NOW is the fact that your sex life sounds horrible. You don't feel desired and you probably aren't (by him) so why are you with him again?

    • we still have sex often and i do still feel wanted, but he turns me down when he's tired/cranky, when he's full/feels sick because he eats too much (but isn't fat), and when I come home planning on having a quickie at lunch with him (because planning sex isn't sexy and turns him off). his sex drive used to be much higher and now it's dropped off. I think it's just cus we've been together for a while and he's lazy.

    • So now you're making excuses for him. Yeah then I don't see the point of the question... Good luck

Most Helpful Guys

  • There are things that are significant and things that aren't significant here.

    Things that aren't significant: the fact that his sister is within that age group. Unless he's actually masturbating to pictures of her or people who look weirdly similar to her, there's no reason to think that there's anything other than coincidence or that he has ever thought about it. He would probably be grossed out too if you brought it to his attention. And the fact that the type of p*rn he watches doesn't strictly match your body type isn't necessarily significant either.

    Things that are significant: He leaves his p*rn up. That's just... weird. And not considerate. Just bizarre.

    Your sex life is suffering. It probably ISN'T the p*rn that is causing this. But the p*rn may be prolonging the issue by allowing him to take care of his sexual needs elsewhere and removing the impetus to confront whatever is wrong with the sex. Or the relationship. That is important and not insignificant. Something is up, you should find out. Or just move on if you don't care to.

    • when i bring up the fact that he turns me down more than i do or that i initiate more than he does, he says that it's not true (even though it blatantly is) and says everything is fine. it's not like he masturbates instead of having sex with me, we just don't have sex as much anymore. he's also unemployed and is lazy in general right now so could that be what's causing his drop in sex drive? or is it just that the "honeymoon phase" is over?

    • I would say that the unemployment and apathy have a lot to do with it. He's probably not in the greatest place ever right now, mentally. Apathy/depression begets more apathy/depression. He needs to start doing stuff until he gets a job. Like exercising. Or working around the house.

  • well it's just p*rn not real life, so there is no reason to assume that this is his expectation or deep desires. p*rn allows essentially for people to sometimes tap into desires they wouldn't explore in reality.

    also know that just because a girl says she's 18 on camera doesn't mean she is actually 18.

    I understand that you maybe have a sense of insecurity as a result of his p*rn habits but try to remember that he is with you and the p*rn he watches only represents something that turns him on... the bigger concern to me would be the turning down sex

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • p*rn is fine, the age thing is fine, men generally go for younger girls because of the beauty and looks associated with youth, his fantisies aren't illegal so long as the p*rn is 18+ and as long as he isn't looking at pictures of his sister then so what? You could have a brother whos 30, and like men in that age range, thats not exactly weird so long as it isn't your actual brother you fantasize about.
    Soooo, the worrying part is, if he finds time to look at p*rn, but doesn't seems that interested in doing stuff with you. Red flag time, and could mean he is addicted to it. I can't see how any guy would pick 2 actors on a screen rather than do it with an actual human, in this case you. It could indicate he has a problem. And if this doesn't change then you are better off finding a guy who appreciates you more than his right hand and PC.

  • Better than what girls prefer, pornhub statistics show that "straight" women (there is no such thing as a a straight women) most prefer lesbian porn. Anthropologists say women don't actually have a sexual orientation, just an amorphous mess based on narcissistic sexual self affirmation. Which fits in with your concerns, you are worried about your desirability, nothing else.

  • You’re correct, if you watched BBC porn he’d be sick. in my opinion, his porn choices are a bit disturbing and a cause for concern considering he has a little sister in that age bracket. If he’s turning you down for sex now imagine what it will be like in years to come. He’ll seek out those fantasies or be miserable in his current sex life.

  • You ever think maybe it's just because it is different?

  • Instead of focusing on what his type or what you can't be, i advice you to focus on making your sex better. As long as your sex is good, they will be just fantasies.

  • I came across a p*rn study a few months back, and "teen" was the top searched for term in the United States. I think it is just because 18 year old girls are in good shape and everything is tight and perky. For this reason, it's aesthetically pleasing to view no matter what age the guy is.

    • doesn't that get weird when you're older though? like what about when you have teenage daughters yourself? are you still going to be jerking off to other people's daughters that are the same age as your own?

    • I don't know unless you specifically look for it girls in p*rn are always in good shape and perky. It's also often a lie when they say 18 years she's often over 20 sometimes in her mid 20s. It's a fantasy and a really weird in my opinion

    • Yeah, I guess it's a bit weird. I never really thought about it the way that you are.

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