Sexual Relationships
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Do you see a blowjob at the same level of intimacy as actual sex?

I had a conversation with my boyfriend. He is annoyed that I sucked more guys' dicks than I had sex with. I had 4 boyfriends and had sex with only those 4. I did give blowjobs to 5 other guys besides those 4 boyfriends. Two of them I just met at parties when I was drunk and got me on my knees pretty easily. The other three I had a date with a couple times. To me, a blowjob asks for less "closeness" than sex. My bf sees it differently and I just don't get it. A blowjob is fooling around, a step further than kissing. But sex is like... real sex. It might sound stupid but to me there's still a big difference between the two. My bf has this image of me lowering myself further than sex just to please these guys I didn't really like that much. Is my view on this really that weird? Or do you think my boyfirend exaggerates?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think that most people see it as less intimate, but I think it should be regarded as something higher than that. I mean, it's your mouth. I think things are inherently more intimate when talking about your mouth. I know for myself and seemingly most other guys that it's less intimate to put your dick into a girl's mouth, vagina, ass, but it's very intimate to put your mouth onto another person's body, especially the pussy.
    Also, I have a problem with people separating oral from sex, because it's the same thing. Oral sex is sex. So yeah, I side with your boyfriend on this and would be looking at you kind of strange after you admitted that.

  • I love a blow job more then sex if I can cum in her mouth.
    I would put intercourse and sex at least at the same level. esp if you let him cum in your mouth. that tells me you care about me enough to do something you might not really like doing, but care more about me then a bad taste for a minute or two. hard to explain but for me it is an emotional connection. same with sex

    • Of course with a blowjob i mean until completion. So yeah, that means they came in my mouth.

Most Helpful Girls

  • To be fair a blowjob is classified as oral sex. I personally haven't even given it to my own boyfriend, let alone some other guy. I can understand why your boyfriend is upset by it, but on the other hand he should see it from your point of view and understand you two have different ideas on intimacy. If the blow jobs meant nothing more than a means of flirting to you, then your boyfriend shouldn't get upset about it, especially since it is in your past.

    • Yeah but... if I had oral sex... I wouldn't be saying we'd had sex? That's odd that that's what it feels like

  • I think I see it basically like you do.
    I've had sex with five men (my ex-husband and four boyfriends) which were all committed relationships.
    However, I've given nine men blow jobs: the five guys whom I was serious about and four whom I was just dating but I liked them.
    As long as you're careful, I don't think that you or I did anything wrong.

  • Go on YouTube and search the video titled "Why Blowjobs Are More Intimate Than Sex" by CollegeHumor.

    It will answer all your questions. ˇˇ

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 14

  • I'd say just be careful and stop performing oral sex on people you hardly know. They could be infected with herpes and you don't know it.

    • I know about that. Don't worry.

    • Thanks MOM

  • I agree with you = BIG difference, most sexy gals I knew would agree

    but a BF will find something in your past to be temporarily upsetting, no matter what

    The BF might see you on your knees as subservient, being a slave or disrespected - thus diminishing his accolades in life

    Your job is to change his perspective to "I was having fun" "I was in control" , etc.

  • Oral sex is more intimate than genital sex. It requires one put one's face, where all but one of one's major sense organs are located, in another person's crotch and attempt to please the other with no physical pleasure received by the giver. In genital sex, only one sense organ is being used: skin, and both parties are receiving physical pleasure.

  • I consider it on the same level, yes.

  • I don't think so. You know some people don't view either as intimate. It just depends on the person

  • Blowjobs are a close second in terms of feeling if they are done well. But its not a substitute for sex, not long term anyway. Guys are ultimately designed to ejaculate into a vagina, not a mouth so the craving for that will still be there. The position and act initself plus the feeling make it much better in the long run

  • Let me ask you this what if your guy only slept with four but gave oral sex to five more?

    • I wouldn't care. I won't say it won't be on my mind for a day but I don't think I have any right to be annoyed by it. Why shouldn't he have done that before we were together? Should someone not make use of their sexual freedom because a future partner might be annoyed?

  • https://youtu.be/qPxSU7zDmOE



    Enjoy ;)

    • You do realize that they are making fun of the fact that some people see it as more intimate than sex, right? That was made pretty clear with the last sentence she said.

    • yes i know that 100%. But i dont see a blowjob more intimate than sex.

  • Honestly, I see a blowjob as more, like mario says not all girls will, and even if they do it's not something they do all the time, generally speaking!

  • Well, it's not as intimate as sex, but on the spectum between sex and making out, it's a hell of a lot closer to sex than making out. I think your man may be more upset by the fact that it didn't take much convincing to get you on your knees than the fact that you gave oral to the guys you didn't have intercourse with.

  • Because every time he kisses you, he is kissing those guys dicks. Virgins ftw.

  • a blowjob is best because the girl is submitting more to the guy...its flattering to have a penis sucked

  • Sex is more intimate and love making but a be is still giving yourself away to someone in a sense. Your boyfriend is understandably upset.

    • Bj* a bj is more a score for guys even if it means less to the girl. so the idea that other guys got a score from you would still make your bf upset. That is the way I see it.

  • i do not classify them together. i don't get why it's called oral sex. it can be intimate but in no way is it comparable to sex.

  • No he's not exaggerating never tell your past relations and a bj is way more intimate because some girls won't do it so it makes it more special

  • There is actually a video saying why it is more intimate haha

  • I think I just got dumb by reading this.

  • yes a good fuck is more intimate then just a Blowjob , but it is still a form of sexual pleasure. Most guys are protective I guess is the word for it an they want to know their woman is theirs and while BJ's mite not be what you think of as sex to your boyfriend instead of you having four other guys dicks in you he now finds out you had 9 other guys dicks stuck in you and probably is a lot for him to take. Makes you seem well used to him and the fact that he thought you only had 4 guys now finds out there was 5 more just doesn't make his opinion of you get an better

  • Hahaha because when he kisses you he thinks of dicks you sucked.

    • hahaha

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