Why do some guys treat a girl disrespectfully after they fuck her?

I hooked up with this guy from my campus. I know I didn't have to expect much after a hookup, but why can't he be just a little respectful? We were both a little drunk, danced together a little and we ended up at my place. After he fucked me, he just said he was going to get something downstairs, took some beer from my fridge without asking, and then I heard him close the door and he was gone. Didn't even answer my text the day after. Then later I found out that he bragged about fucking me to all his friends. I don't mind some people knowing but he told all these details to everyone like how enthusiastic I sucked his dick, how I moaned when he pulled my hair or how my ass clapped when he fucked me from behind. He literally said those thing! tbh, the sex was really nothing special but he talks about me like I'm some slut he fucked the shit out of and is so proud of it. Why do guys act like this? They don't have to date me after a hookup, but a little thankfulness or respect is not too much to ask. And don't tell me that I deserve this for hooking up. These days, A LOT of people hook up and they are not sluts for doing so. Also this was my second hookup and probably last. So guys, if you date a girl and she acts difficult about having sex, it's guys like this one you have to thank for it.
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I know I can't expect a lot of respect after a hookup. But normally you still treat that person with the basic respect you have for any human being. Like assholes who look down on the homeless or prostitutes. They are still human, whatever they do.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well, whether or not this makes you a slut is a matter of opinion. I personally dont hook up with guys, but I have many friends who do and mannny of them have been in situations where they felt the guy wasn't treating them as ideally as they had imagined. there's no magical land where women find completely respectful guys to hook up with randomly, that have perfect endings each time. Either your friends are keeping things from you or you dont actually know their sex lives as well as you think you do. Chances are they have had unsavory experiences as well. OR they go about things differently than you do. Honestly, at your age you should know this by now. If you give a guy no-strings attached, drunken, casual sex...Yes, some men will be cool about it, but to a lot of men you are a slut. You may not want to be that, and I'm not even saying you are, but its a reality of opinions in the social context in which you exist. We haven't quite reached a utopia of gender equality concerning prejudices and stigmas in sexuality. you're doing what sluts do, according to the current script.

    And to be honest with you - why does he owe you respect? I understand that you may have that ideal, but if you cared that much you would have considered getting to know him, finding out who he is and what he's like, IF he is likely to be the kind of guy who would treat a hookup with respect or not. Sure, people wear all kinds of masks, but its not so difficult to see who people are if you give it time and have your eyes open. But if you just want sex now, you are playing the lottery. You may get mr. feminist-gender-equality-respectful minded guy. Or you may get the "look at the slut I fucked" guy. If you dont care to find out which one he is, then... This is the risk all women take when they hook up. Not that you shouldn't if you want to. You can also choose to become the kind of woman who can stand up for herself and not give a fuck about this kind of gossip, but that isn't likely.

  • This guy is a douchebag. I know many guys who hook up personally who would never do that to a girl. None of the guys I've hooked up with ever did that to me either and to the contrary they were wonderful gentlemen and still am towards me to the this day so this guy really is a piece of work. It's not normal and he's really scum. There's no reason to ever treat a girl like that regardless of whether it was casual or not. I think you need to pick better guys to hook up with. Don't go for the typical Jersey Shore looking kinda guy. Usually those kind of guys are huge players and disrespect girls like that. Opt for the nicer guys. They'd treat you like a lady.

  • Sadly a lot of guys are like that. Don't expect them to be nice after. If you want a bit leverage next time... take pictures of his dick and keep it for 'insurance' if you hear words going around from that person. You can show people that is his dick on photo for the record. :-P

    • You can go around telling people that his dick is about four inches long.. Too small for you. :0

  • One man's insecurity and desire for acceptance by his peers should NOT form the basis of your self image.

    You keep doing what you wanna do... just... maybe choose someone with a bit more maturity or tactfulness next time ;)

Most Helpful Guys

  • I was about to post an easy answer until I read the entire body. WOW. So sorry for you. This reads like a deer hunter camouflaged by his lies, shooting & them molesting his prey, then stealing, mount the head, brag, advertise to others... as if he has no fear he's scattering future "game" in he process. Dumb ass. Liar. Even in hunting classes the #1 rule is respect for the game - you took a life, don't degrade it. Now we are talking real live people here and this guy thinks even they should be debased under his dirty boots to elevate his tiny ego a few inches.

    Yes, I agree - just like lying salesmen (women & men) kill an honest, hard working salesman's route by killing the trust and respect for all, these guys that troll the dance halls.. and Harmony.com/et al. ... ruin other guys' ability to meet a candidate for a long lasting relationship.

    Of course, you (& others reading this) will be more wary, now that it becomes clear that the bad guys don't all wear black hats. But I think more needs to be done, like posting his face in the gals bathroom and spreading some mud on him so that he stinks too much for any other gal to be "bagged". Would love to hear that the stink gets so great that even his fans/listeners/"friends"/gang fear to be around him, as the gals will avoid them as well. Then to hear everyone thinks him a liar (about your overnight) would be the ultimate satisfaction.

  • The majority of guys who seem to hook up a lot have no respect for the girls they hook up with. They view them as dumb sheep who they can get what they want from. Sadly that attitude lets them seem confident and relaxed and -increases- the odds that girls like them, while guys who actually care about girls tend to be more worried about how the girls see them and seem less confident.

    There are guys who genuinely are fine with casual sex and don't look down on women who engage in it with them. The type of guy I described first - who you slept with - seems more common in sort of frat-boy (no insult to nice guys in frats) cultures in the u.s. in areas where there's more of an anti-sex attitude about women combined with a desire to screw around. In countries where people are a little more relaxed about sex, there's less of this thinking.

    As for your apparently enthusiastic dick sucking, moaning when your hair is pulled and clapping ass during doggy, god damn you sound hot. If that's remotely accurate and I were a young guy hooking up with you, i'd be hooking up with you again, and again, and again, and again, and again...

    • thanks. And well yes the things you said at the end are true haha. Isn't that what sex is like with most people? I don't see why I would blow someone if I'm not enthusiastic about it or what's special about moaning during sex? And doesn't every butt make a clapping sound when you fuck in that position? Just don't get why that's so special, but I am flattered :). I do however not like it when someone talks about me like that to people I know. It's not very respectful.

    • Tons of women are one step above starfishing it, and from what I hear, tons of men are pretty lame too. Anyway, I'm not sure if there's a good way to get a sense -fast- of whether a guy looks down on women who he hooks up with. Though some of it may come through in whether they seem to exhibit warmth and empathy to others in general.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 22
  • The boy probably has low self-esteem and was riding the boost you gave him. It sounds like you're probably the best he's had, though guys like this won't admit it.

    On another note, due to most females constantly living under greater emotional strain girls tend to develop a strong ability to put on whatever face is needed by their partner. Looks like you did your part, it doesn't seem like this guy realizes you were reading from a script and he was the one who got fucked.

  • There's no mutual respect or friendship to up hold - he doesn't care about your feelings so he just says what he likes.

  • Pfft...I was about to write you a novel about it, but NVM. The dude is the biggest trash you'll ever meet, and he has no respect for women. Nuff said.

  • You chose the wrong guy for a random hook up.
    Not all guys are like him tho.

  • lets just say that for him you were just a slut..

    soo he didn't have to pay a shit
    +
    free beers

    but he definitely should be part of the nominees for the douchebag of the year..

    wrong choice dear

  • Not all guys do this.. he was an asshole, simple.

  • He doesn't care he got what he wanted that's all.

  • He's an asshole, but you're an idiot.

    Let's put this into perspective.

    This guy fucked you, without barely getting to know you, he essentially wanted to treat you like a cum dumpster and YOU agreed to it. That KIND of should be an indication as to what his character is.

    You attract the life you lead guy. Play with fire, get burned. Learn to look for substantial characteristics in men and not just be blinded by his dick.

    • You attract the life you lead girl*. Typo.

    • I had another hookup before him an that was a good experience. He was a good guy and we both had fun. I've heard stories of my friends and they have had fun hookups. I just don't get why those kind of guys act like that. They ruin it for everyone.

  • Well he is a pig.
    Unfortunately there are a lot of guys like that. It is a lot bigger problem when they are younger.
    If it is a problem the only thing you can do is stop hooking up.
    otherwise, turn it around and just use them. Use their cock for your own pleasure, then when your done just tell them "you need to leave now.."
    unfortunately, that brings you down to their level and would make you the pig. so I hope you don't go that route...
    guys like that aren't worth your attention, try and ignore it.

  • Because some men "not all of them" are sexist pieces of shit. Blame society and cultural norms for teaching people to judge a woman by her sexuality

  • Don't expect young guys to get lucky and not brag about it. They're not known for discretion.

  • You can get as upset as you want, but you displayed to him that you will easily give up your body to a man. So it's going to be a fairly reasonable reaction that he's not going to respect you. It's the risk you take living in the hookup culture.

  • You fuck a guy after partying for a few hours.

    And you expect him to "respect you"?

    And also, you know what? When I meet a girl and she's mentally fucked because she did so many hookups, or couldn't get over her fling with some trashy "thug" guy, yes, part of that is due to the men.

    But unless she was raped, most of the guilt is on her.

  • women tend to be attracted to jerks instead of nice guys. karma bites

    • No matter if it's a boyfriend or just a fling...everyone should be respected. He was disrespectful. He could just told her that he wanted to go.

  • The lesson Learned?
    Dont be horny with a little shot.

  • When you choose lusty guys to bang you on bed. This is the outcome...

  • Sounds like he's a prick. Sorry about that. I'll treat you with respect though.

  • Congrats you opened your legs to some idiot. I hold no sympathies for women who make stupid choices. Get drunk and fuck. What else could one want from women with no moral compass.

  • And people call me dick-_- at least I dont steal chicks beer ahahaha. Same thing happened with adirana in our college. She told the guy she wanna do it again, Went to his home and tied him up with whipped cream on him and clicked pics then texting all of em to her friends. We even saw it in gym lol You come up with something like that too!

  • This is kind of what you should expect from a hook up. Some a-hole guy that just wants sex so he can brag about it to his friends. This is a good reason why you should stay away from hook-ups and one night stands because these are the kind of guys you'll end up with. Sorry this happened to you, hopefully you learned from it and move on, its not the end of the world, just think things through next time about the end results.

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