Why (Male) Virgins Should Not Be Ashamed!

GirlsAskGuys seems to be full of men and boys who are concerned about their virginity. This excessive concern shouldn't exist in the first place for a multitude of reasons. So, I've written a list of things why males shouldn't be ashamed of their virginity:

1. Sexual intercourse is a choice with lots of strings attached.

Even in "no-strings-attached sex", there is actually strings attached. First, sex must be consensual, or you'll be prosecuted for rape or sexual violence. Second, sex involves preparation. Preparations involve receiving vaccinations (HPV vaccine works best on virgins, men and women, and it comes in 3 doses), buying condoms and barriers, having health insurance in case you get an STI, and having a healthcare provider that is able to treat you. If you do not think you are ready to handle such a responsibility, then you should definitely wait to have sex. As always, think before you act.

Why (Male) Virgins Should Not Be Ashamed!

2. Earth is already over-populated.

You are doing the world a huge favor by not increasing the world population. Celibacy, voluntary or involuntary, is 100% effective in birth control and population growth. This may give you a bit of dissatisfaction and discontentment in your life (as you want to release those sexual urges), but look at it this way. Suffering doesn't have to be perceived as a bad thing. Sometimes, suffering for a greater good is a very noble virtue. On top of that, you can adopt children from impoverished countries and give them a better life and future. And do you know what that is called? Altruism. ;)

Why (Male) Virgins Should Not Be Ashamed!

3. You may be a virgin, but that doesn't mean you cannot have any sexual pleasure.

If you have the money, then you may buy a realistic sex doll and have sex with it. During sexual intercourse with the sex doll, you may want to role-play and pretend that the sex doll is a real partner. You may work on asking for consent, expressing empathy, wearing a condom, and the actual sex acts. That way, when you have sex with a live partner, you'll be ready. If you do not have the money to buy a sex doll, then you may make one out of your own imagination and whatever materials you have. Design the sex doll however you want, and treat it like a real human being. Give it a name, and spend time with it - and hopefully the sex doll will give you all sorts of pleasures! :)

Why (Male) Virgins Should Not Be Ashamed!

4. There are so many other ways to have fun.

Sex is just one of them. However, I must add that even though sex brings pleasure, it, assuming heterosexual sex here, also brings new human life. If you are having heterosexual sex, always consider that the creation of new human life is possible (regardless of how much "protection" or "artificial birth control" you are using), and the termination of that human life is unethical. Therefore, taking responsibility for sexual intercourse is often much greater than other type of fun activity and, in my opinion, should only be done by two mature and financially independent adults. As a virgin, don't focus on what you don't have or what you have not done. Focus on what you like to do and what you can do at the moment. If you like to play sports, then play sports. If you like to play computer games, then play computer games. If you like to paint, then paint. Be grateful for what you have, and be proud of who you are. If anyone tries to disparage your identity as a virgin, then they are at fault, not you. Just ignore them, no matter how tough it is, because they are just not good people to be with. Do not hold a grudge against people, because - who knows? - sometimes people may have a change of heart, and it is very important to offer forgiveness. Also, sometimes people may be for the most part respectful and kind, but they may not realize they are hurting you until you tell them.

Why (Male) Virgins Should Not Be Ashamed!

5. You are at low risk of contracting STIs.

Assuming that you are a virgin who has never had oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, grinding, mutual masturbation or any kind of sexual or intimate activity (such as kissing), you can be sure that you do not have a sexually transmitted infection and thus do not need to be tested. In addition, if you keep good hygiene and sanitary habits and universal biohazard safety precautions, you should be safe and not catch any pathogenic bugs. If you seek a romantic-sexual partner who has the same life experience as you do and enter an exclusively monogamous relationship with the intention of having biological children without a limit, then you're golden. You never have to use condoms and barriers or even birth control! Plus, pregnancy and breastfeeding may serve as natural birth control, so that may help with family planning. :)

Why (Male) Virgins Should Not Be Ashamed!

I write this myTake for the virgin guys out there who feel bad about themselves for being themselves.

1 3

Most Helpful Guy

  • I bust knuckles 45 hours a week fixing wrecked tractor-trailers, buses, firetrucks, etc. and it's fairly well known in the shop that I haven't had sex. (I've been further than I wish I have been, but I can only change the future.) Yet, I don't catch any grief for it.

    What's funny and sad at the same time is that I am constantly and sincerely encouraged to have nothing to do with women by the guys who hate their marriages.

    I'm currently hot on the trail of at least four different women who are likely all virgins because of their convictions and backgrounds. Do I regret my life's path? Heck no.

    My ducks are in a row and I'm more than ready for the next phase of my life. I'm not looking to screw around: I want a happy and fulfilling marriage, I want kids, and I don't want a ton of emotional baggage to bring those things down. I don't want to be distracted by the memories of other women when I want to utterly master my future wife's sexuality; to have her in a complete state of ecstasy. Good luck trying to reach that point if your concept of sex is all about what you do and getting your rocks off versus reading her and giving exactly what she needs from you.

    • That's more like it! I totally agree with your post and your attitude toward sex!

Most Helpful Girl

  • #3 cannot possibly be considered an advantage. And while I'm sure most of the virgin men want sex, I bet what they want even more than that is a girl to call their own. A confidant, a friend, a snuggle buddy... someone to be there for them on the rough days. Not some realistic looking doll.
    As for the population thing, maybe they desperately love and want to have kids. But go ahead and pour salt in the wound.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

7 54
  • Half of the population of men/boys are not virgins before marriage. Most at a young age are pure pressured into doing things as in "loosing their virginity" just to get accepted or feel cool around ther guy friends. Because yes of course, the guy who's gotten the most girl or had sex with the most girls are the "coolest". On the other hand most guys does it for pleasure.

    Perhaps, for some guys it could have been a one time thing for them. So it varies but i wouldn't mind a guy whos a virgin but sadly on the 21st thats rare and hard to settle down with someone who is a virgin. 10/10 they may not be one 😰😿

    But there is nothing wrong with a guy being a virgin but in the male community i definitely know that they see it differently.

  • guys its ok to be a virgin whether it be by choice or not.

  • "Why (Male) Virgins Should Not Be Ashamed!" www.nikopik.com/.../Bullshit.jpg

    😂😂 Why shouldn't they be ashamed, since 99.9% of the time they're aren't virgins by choice now are they? And when you mix that with the fact that there are billions of women on this earth, yet they haven't been able to snag 1 in the bedroom yeah something's usually wrong there. Such as them being ugly, weird (well creepy), have no game, no balls, can't dress, clueless, full of excuses etc.

    Which as a man isn't anything to be proud of since we'll know that unless your good looking, girls aren't going to fall in your lap nor are you going to get laid by fitting the bill that I just wrote up there.

    • Upvote becaue I can relate personally.

  • Why male virgins should not be ashamed: "You may buy a realistic sex doll and have sex with it. During sexual intercourse with the sex doll, you may want to role-play and pretend that the sex doll is a real partner. You may work on asking for consent, expressing empathy, wearing a condom, and the actual sex acts." - This is of course entirely normal and no reason to be ashamed at all.

    • HAHAHAHAHh agreed

    • Yeah that is a terrible suggestion.

  • AM I the only one who thinks that visiting a brothel is better than spending money on a sex doll

    • Dude I know, it boggles my mind. I wrote a wonderful my take on it.

    • Nope, you're not the only one...

    • As much as I wish that were the case, I'm afraid there's always more work on ending sex trafficking.

    • Show All
  • Jesus, I read this and even I'm downed by it. Like 2, 3, and 4 seem so sad. XD.
    Like sure 1 and 5 are pretty valid but suggesting they can get a sex doll? Or that they're doing the world a favor by not accidentally reproducing? That just is so very sad.

  • I would love to meet a male Virgin 😳

  • The Earth is NOT overpopulated. However, it is over-regulated. The number of truly free societies has dwindled to almost none. The number of governments that are corrupt and mismanage resources is 100%. The number of them that do this to the extreme is 80% of them. Malthus was wrong.

  • Not sure what you were trying to accomplish but if I was a virgin I would find it mostly insulting.
    women have a ton of "Toy" options that they can use. All of which will be exactly like a real penis and thus allow them the same satisfaction and release.
    Dolls and fleshlights are ok, but cannot duplicate a real vagina or woman's mouth or ass. They also cannot replace a woman's touch. So they are alternatives but certainly not substitutes.
    To say that abortion is unethical is just an asinine statement. Typical religious nonsense. It is ethical and legal.
    going out to dance, etc.. and have fun has absolutely nothing to do with being a virgin. It is like comparing apples to vagina's. not even close to the same thing.
    and the whole "you could get an STD" is really a bogus argument. anyone is at risk but if your really that afraid, there are plenty of precautions you can take.
    Women can get some cock 100% of the time they decide they want it.
    men, at best, have a 50/50 chance. So it is a lot harder for men to get it on top of the fact that our sex drive, esp at the teen years, is many times that of most women.

  • If you are one of those people ( and I'm sure I am) do NOT agree with reproduction because every life brought into this world ultimately will be GUARANATEED a Death, And EXPOSED to suffering, pain, illnesses, hardships, and all other kinds of bad and unavoidable crap over time, then sex is pretty much irrelevant and already lost it's purpose for you as it more or less had to me. In other words, I'd be in that category of why I would NOT want any children of my own as I just know that I would save them the trouble that they otherwise MUST face because of MY own choice to bring them into existence here in this reality and world.

    Sexual desires and drives are really just the hormones and chemicals that run through our bodies and brains that are the problems.

    I sometimes really wished I was more like those asexuals that had never ever felt any sexual desires or impulses their entire lives. Much more purely logical and less emotional or completely unemotional. Even though they're not quite an automaton or cybernetic organism yet, but good enough.

    Asexuals are pretty much all good when it comes to dealing with any sexual related issues, as they never need to think about it or feel anything about it, as they have no need or desire to really try and experience what the majority of the human population claim that sex is so wonderful and great about.

    Sex is irrelevant if we never feel those desires or any boredom in the first place as much as it's "real primary and true purpose" is reproduction. And reproduction's purpose is really just to reduce the possibility and probability of extinction of any living species.

    But that just never really works out for the better because there's just always so many layers of problems that comes with all these emotions.

    So, therefore I really hope all forms of biological reproduction will be completely rendered obsolete through some form of technology (or even "accident") one day, such as completely altering reality, physics, space and time altogether and at that point then sex and possibly even all sexual activities would eventually lose their "value".

  • This is pretty rude this information is pretty common knowledge and in no way elevates social pressures or insecurities men may have about their virginity. OMG I can't believe you just told them how to masturbate. How nice of you to support the stigma that virgins are ignorant about sex.

  • OP, it's very kindhearted of you to post this thinking about the goodwill of men but you have to understand that it is not a choice for most guys to be virgin. Whether girls choose to deny this or not, girls have sex practically when they want, with whom they want. Give or take. Guys have sex when they CAN. When luck smiles upon them. Not when they choose to.

    Yes I am plenty ashamed of still being a virgin at 20. If I could have lost it, I would have already done so but alas I have not and doesn't look like I will any time soon, if ever.

  • An interesting take. I do have to disagree with you about the following, "If you have the money, then you may buy a realistic sex doll and have sex with it."

    I would recommend that you take that money and invest it in improving yourself. I can't imagine masturbating with a doll is going to improve your intimacy skills as the doll provides you with no feedback.

    • Haha!

  • I respect guys who are virgins, but there IS a stigma to male virginity that DOES make a lot of guys want to avoid it. I'm not saying guys should just go out and give it up or be so insecure about being a virgin, but I am saying I understand why they would be. Male virgins are stereotyped as being virgins cuz they have no confidence with women, still live at home with their parents, and at worst, being told they're always going to be bad in bed for their first time. So I can sympathize with them.

  • XFD at #2, 3, 4, and 5

    2. Having sex doesn't mean you have to have children

    3. Yup nothing to be ashamed of guys, just get a sex doll

    4. Apparently people that have sex can't have fun in other ways either

    5. If you and your partner are STI free and want to have children each time you have sex, then now you don't need birth control. Yeah that sounds great, a new child every year

    • 2. That was just ONE reason out of the FIVE listed. I should point out that the list is not in any particular order. 3. A sex doll is just an example. Another example is an artificial vagina that you created yourself with toilet paper and masking tape. 4. That was not my intent. I was just saying that virgin males could find other ways to have fun. 5. Pregnancy and breastfeeding can serve as birth control. If the woman breastfeeds the baby until it is 2 or 3 years old, then there may be a 2 or 3 year gap between pregnancies. And don't forget menopause. :)

    • You really don't see how ridiculous all of this sounds especially about sex dolls and artificial vaginas?

    • Nope.

  • 'During sexual intercourse with the sex doll, you may want to role-play and pretend that the sex doll is a real partner. You may work on asking for consent, expressing empathy, wearing a condom, and the actual sex acts.'

    This is the funniest shit I read all day. Practising consent and 'empathy' as if awkwardly fumbling around before sex muttering "please may I" ever got any woman aroused. Or like it's a good idea to have a life sized sex doll in your closet like generic name pointed out.

    And there is no way in hell men are staying virgins because they're worried about overpopulation. It's not their fault if some fat American decides to have 6 kids. In fact if for every couple there was only one child born, that would be enough for the population would decrease in size. Not that overpopulation is the issue (lack of resources is and in some communities MORE family members are required to do the labour).

    You sound very ignorant and patronising writing this article. You should probably speak to more inexperienced men in order to more fully appreciate where they are coming from.

  • As a virgin I'm 100% disgusted on most of the points and ideas you have presented and I'm not ashamed of being one so you can go fuck yourself.

    #GG

  • Lol thanks but I've never been ashamed of my choices, any of em.

  • Why do male virgins feel the need to admit they have their v card so badly? If it's so shameful? Newsflash to virgin guys, men with lots of partners can suck in bed, and have fantasies that they actually made all of the women orgasm. U guys aren't pathetic... Maybe a lot of you will actually take the time to find out how to really pleasure women. If U can do that, you'll be 100x better than the avg guy will be @ sex.

    • What brought "men with lots of partners can suck in bed" and "how to really pleasure women" to this? Most of the guys are complaining that they can't get the girl to bed. And theoretically speaking, even if they were all dynamites in bed, the girl wouldn't know this until she's on bed with them. The issue isn't being good at sex it's getting sex. Being good at sex might be the next obstacle but it isn't the obstacle being faced right now.

    • "men with lots of partners can suck in bed" also aren't most women grossed out by guys who have had a lot of partners?

    • @DBAOracle Lots of those guys just have social anxiety and all that. Doesn't have anything to do with girls.

  • "If you have the money, then you may buy a realistic sex doll and have sex with it. During sexual intercourse with the sex doll, you may want to role-play and pretend that the sex doll is a real partner. You may work on asking for consent, expressing empathy, wearing a condom, and the actual sex acts."

    Jesus Christ now I feel even worse. So I'm guess I'm supposed to remove all my dignity, buy a sex doll, and ask it for consent. Fuck man, the fact this is suggestion is horrible.

  • Show More (41)