The Truth About the Hymen Myth

It seems to be a very common misconception around GAG that a hymen is some physical representation of virginity and that it must be destroyed, popped, torn, ripped and so on. I find this really concerning especially when grown adults believe this myth, which is scientifically very very incorrect! I am here to explain the science behind the hymen!

All it takes is a basic preschool level understanding of the human body to get why the "magical disappearing hymen" myth is ridiculous. When you were a toddler and you scraped your knee did you expect your body to reject your knee completely and have it fall off? Did you expect the injured skin on your knee to disappear forever leaving an open skin-less patch where you injured yourself? I would hope not! Even as a toddler you knew that damaged skin heals and rebuilds itself, you knew that you would look under that band-aid one day soon and that your scraped up skin would be healed up like new! So why do we think differently about the hymen?

The Truth About the Hymen Myth

THE REALITY: The hymen is just like any other skin on your body if it is torn or ripped it won't fall off! Studies have shown that a torn hymenal membrane takes on average only 48 hours or two days to heal completely! The hymen is also NOT a complete seal over the vaginal opening it is usually more of a crescent moon shape or that of a ring. The only reason a hymen might cover the entire vaginal opening or even partially cover it is because of a rare physical mutation, these types of hymens can not be "broken" or "popped" during sex either, a simple surgical procedure to give the hymen a normal crescent shape is required in these rare cases.

*fun fact: Hymen comes from the Greek word hymen, meaning membrane. Another name for it is the Vaginal Corona.

Bleeding from first time vaginal sex usually isn't even from the hymen!

The Truth About the Hymen Myth

Hymens are actually very elastic and difficult to tear, they usually just stretch easily out of the way. The real reason women bleed during sex is because of friction against the vaginal walls, and the blood some women find after they have sex for the first time usually wasn't from their hymen at all but from the walls of their vagina! Stress and fear during a woman's first time can cause her to clench her vaginal muscles so much that the walls of her vagina get scraped up from the friction and bleed a little! Bleeding during first intercourse does not necessarily indicate breaking of the hymen. The concept of “first bleed” could be caused by tense vaginal muscles, inadequate lubrication, rushed entry, or vaginal abrasions not related to hymenal tears. So make sure that you are relaxed, lubricated enough, fully aroused, and trust your partner to go slowly at first when you have your first time to avoid pain and bleeding!

The hymen changes during pregnancy!

The Truth About the Hymen Myth

We all know that hormone's in a pregnant woman's body cause many changes, well the hymen is no exception to this! The hymen gets thicker in preparation for birth! Though it does go back to normal after a while, just like a woman's breasts may shrink back to the size they were before pregnancy, after she is done breastfeeding.

“[The hymen] is composed mainly of elastic and collagenous connective tissue, and both outer and inner surfaces are covered by stratified epithelium… The edges of the torn tissue soon re-epithelialize. In pregnant women, the epithelium of the hymen is thick, and the tissue is rich in glycogen. Changes produced in the hymen by childbirth are usually readily recognizable.” Williams Obstetrics, p. 17

You can however, lose some of your hymen during birth or other extreme trauma to the area, it doesn't go away completely though and leaves behind what are called hymenal tags. Most women do make it through birth with their hymen intact and the most common cause of this permanent damage is due to Hymenotomy. This refers to the doctor having to make a small incision into the hymen in a difficult birth to reduce the damage caused by tearing and control the tearing. If this cut is done improperly a woman may be left with hymenal tags instead of a full hymen. It is difficult for giving birth to even badly damage / cause you to lose part of your hymen, which makes the "cherry popping" myth even more ridiculous.

"Hymenotomy refers to the cutting of hymenal tissue during birth. “The hymenal ring will usually tear during the first term birth. [You will often note a trickle of blood during crowning as this occurs (insert from page 474)]. As a rule, this happens easily, but occasionally the tissue is tough and resistant. Some practitioners find that snipping a tough hymen down to the center, flush with the yoni wall, will direct the tearing and prevent ragged skin tags with difficult-to-repair deviations." Healing Passage, Anne Frye, p. 253.

Some women are born without a hymen, and all hymens look different.

The Truth About the Hymen Myth

The top two examples on the right in this picture would require surgical intervention to correct, the rest are examples of a normal hymen taking on various shapes in various women! The hymen is quite fleshy and stretchy and all of these shapes would stretch out of the way during intercourse, and then return to the way they look in the pictures. As you can see it's not this mysterious hard to find or super thin membrane. When relaxed some may be jagged, some may be smooth, some may form a ring or a crescent shape and some may even form a line as you can see bottom right! These are all depictions of a relaxed hymen as nothing is being inserted, during sex, use of a tampon, or a sex toy the hymen should stretch comfortably to fit around whatever is being inserted. Some women can even be born without a hymen or with very little visible hymenal tissue, this is normal!

Fun informational videos! *


Conclusion: You can't use the hymen to "prove" virginity because some women are even born without one, every hymen is different, and please for the love of god ladies do not try to "break" your own hymen to avoid pain during your first time!! It will just heal anyway and you will have hurt yourself for no reason! Friction on the internal vaginal walls is what causes bleeding during first time intercourse, so make sure to be well lubricated and take it slow at first! May your first times be pain-free, blood free, safe, and fun!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A major part of the problem is that in some places virginity and an "intact" hymen are one and the same. In those cultures, virginity is not defined the same way we define it in the west. They don't define it as not having sex, they define it as an intact hymen.

    To give an idea how bad it is, I have a friend in a country like that. She was a virgin. Yet she thought she was "ruined" and would never be able to marry because she wasn't a virgin. Why did she think she wasn't a virgin? Because her gynecologist looked at her hymen and told her she wasn't. That's right, her gynecologist.

    Not only that, but her gynecologist called her a whore because she wasn't married, even though she was a virgin (by our definition). Then on another visit to her gyn, while my friend was in the waiting room, her gyn walked by and said "Oh you're the slut." in front of everyone.

    I find it hard to believe there is any medical school in the world that would teach that. But it's so deeply embedded in their culture that even a trained gynecologist perpetuates the myth. No matter how many times I've told my friend that she was a virgin, in her mind she wasn't because doctor said so. She knew she had never had sex, but if the doctor told her she wasn't a virgin then she wasn't.

    • I know it's so sick and awful, the poor girl was probably born without much of a visible hymen which is not her fault at all. That's why I hate this myth it ruins lives.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Virginity exists. However, it does not exist in the form of a physical object. It is synonymous to chastity or the state of not being involved with sexual intercourse (oral, vaginal, or anal).

    I never succeeded in penetrating myself. The farthest I ever went was about 1-2 inches, I think; and the gynecologist didn't succeed either. So, I think we just skipped the Pap smear exam. Given that I'm extremely low risk to get cervical cancer due to the fact that I have never been sexually active in my life, and cervical cancer is strongly associated with HPV spread through sexual contact, I seriously doubt that I even need a Pap smear. The Pap smear attempt was actually just part of my "annual exam", by the way. Also, I've read from a scientific study that there were nuns that did not have HPV, which concluded that HPV was indeed spread by sexual contact, as nuns tend to be celibate for life.

    Too much friction on the vaginal walls can cause bleeding during sexual intercourse, not limited to first-time sexual encounters. However, so can injuries to the hymen.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Losing virginity has nothing to do with hymen wall, at least I always knew this, a girl could be a virgin with or without hymen, a hymen may break or tear due to many other reasons as well and not just sex, this happens to girls in sport very often and they are more likely without hymen because of their rigorous activities during sport, so we can't judge virginity based on the fact that vary due to different situations, losing virginity is nothing but a mark or label that you have your first sex so that means you are no more a virgin, it is independent of any physical presence of skin as I said a girl couldbe a virgin with or without hymen wall and if the girl already had her first sex and still have hymen intact doesn't mean she is still a virgin it is totally independent of that, like a person once married called as a married person even if he get separated or divorced his marital status will never be the bachelors again, so virginity is something to know that you already have done your first sex and you are not a person awaiting to have sex for the first time and now you are already in to that, hymen has nothing to do with that.

    • I agree, so I don't understand why so many people on GAG think that a hymen can determine if someone is a virgin or not. She could have had sex a hundred times and they would see a hymen and think she hadn't which I think is sad for adults to be so confused about the human body.

  • Virginity is a social construct! Thank you Adam ruins everything. :D

  • Very educational - I knew a fair bit of the info but I didn't know it all - Great advice in general.

  • I had a crescent moon shaped thick piece of skin at the bottom of my vagina before I had sex for the first time. Not like any of your pictures. It did indeed break the first time I had sex, bleeding heavily, most of the pain was located at the entrance and it did not reseal. I have never heard of a woman's vaginal walls bleeding. I think this is a highly scientifically inaccurate post.

    • You are 30 years old you need to do your research and learn about your own damn body instead of perpetuating harmful myths about women. Grow up, I provided sources from medical and academic sources.

    • I'm sorry that your first time was so painful and horrible, nobody deserves that and what that guy did to you was not okay. But just because you are part of an older generation which was used to perpetuating this false information is no excuse to not educate yourself on your own body. You can't use your own messed up personal experience to generalise everyone and deny medical science. Heavy bleeding is not normal or healthy after sex and it was unfortunate that you had to go through that but knowledge could save other women from having to go through a scary and painful first time it is so easily avoidable when people just know what the heck they are doing. I would suggest next time you go see your doctor or gynecologist that you ask them to show you what your hymen looks like, they would be happy to point it out for you and it's always good to have correct information about your own biology! It's that easy! Just ask a medical professional.

  • You are wrong in the fact that hymens DO tear, and bleeding from intercourse can be due to the hymen tearing too. Not all hymens (most) stretch across all of the vaginal opening, but quite contrary to your claims hymens aren't that difficult to tear. In fact, it can be teared by vigorous exercise, without any sort of direct stimulation or penetration itself.

    The functions of the hymen aren't particularly clear other than it helps protect the vaginal opening from infections, and to "increase its persistence well into juvenile life", that of course, until it tears.

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9278930

    Hymens DO NOT restore or fully reconstruct to its original form, after having sexual intercourse. You are also omitting the fact that for this reason there are hymen reconstruction surgeries (hymenorrhaphy). It is unsure if hymen complies to its basic functionality after having sex, but at least aesthetically speaking, the hymen does not regenerates fully which actually may help "verify" virginity. Well, to whoever or whatever culture practices the "proving of virginity" anyways.

    • Dude, you don't even have a hymen. Hymen "reconstruction" surgeries are meant to create an addition of extra skin to the hymen so that the extra skin will be in the way and will tear painfully and bleed in cultures that do virginity tests.

  • i have a septic hymen and it tore my first time and there was a lot of blood. i have
    a relatively high pain threshhold but it was really really bad. maybe other tissues tore too. i took a bath after and the stinging ! ´д` ;

    • Oh god that is so horrible. I had a friend who had that and when she tried to have sex her boyfriend felt it and then he looked down and saw it and said he wasn't going to mess with it until she went to a doctor. But she was stubborn and she took little scissors and cut the bit in the middle but then it was too painful and she couldn't cut the other part so the rest was hanging down and then it got infected. So eventually she had to go to her mom and she had to have surgery and it was just a mess! But then when she finally did have sex it was pain free but he was like "See I told you to go to the doctor to begin with!!" It's too bad you didn't spot it sooner.

    • what an ordeal :0 yeah i never looked carefully enough : /

    • Yeah it sucks that it's hard to find unless you know what you are looking for.

  • You're not a doctor so I can't trust any of this.

    • Then take it as an opportunity to ask your doctor next time you have an appointment, it doesn't hurt to do your research too like I have done.

    • I don't have a vagina so I don't need to ask my doctor about this.

    • That's a narrow way to look at life, I don't have an airplane either it doesn't mean I can't learn about how it works.

  • This should be part of sex-ed

  • "Studies have shown that a torn hymenal membrane takes on average only 48 hours or two days to heal completely"

    Then why do some women pay for hymen reconstructive surgeries if its going to heal on its own anyways?

    • It's really not reconstruction the doctor adds a bit of skin to the hymen that will get in the way and tear to "prove" virginity so the woman doesn't get beaten when l her natural biology which is not meant to tear and bleed causes her to fail a ridiculous "virginity test" and get beaten, jailed, maimed, or killed as a consequence. Women have also been sharpening their thumb nails for centuries and slicing their thigh during their first time having sex so that there is blood on the sheets after to "prove her virginity" so she doesn't face a harsh punishment.

  • Very interesting, where did you learn all of these facts?

    • Sexual biology class at my university.

    • Cool :D

    • Yeah, to be honest I just took it because it as the only sort of interesting class with spots left that I had a time slot left for in my schedule. But sometimes the classes you wouldn't normally take turn out to be really interesting.

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