Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Well, something was about to knock me off of cloud nine and give me a big reality check....
Aunt Flo left me alone for two months straight. I wondered to myself, "huh, that's weird, she has always been on time." And that's when it hit me...."oh no", I whispered to myself. "I could be pregnant...." And then I started to panic. I rushed to my friends for help, and they told me that I was stressing too much and that I would eventually be okay. Like a complete idiot, I listened. Of course, this was my first pregnancy scare, but I still don't think it was a good excuse to ignore the signs...
I didn't wait for long, though. After a couple days, I told my mother. She cried, and I cried too. I could see the disappointment in her eyes and hear the anguish in her voice when she asked why I couldn't tell her sooner. Why didn't I tell her sooner, you ask? Well, mainly because I was scared of how she would react, since she taught me that sex was for after marriage.
She bought me a little dollar store test, and I shook as I took it with me to the bathroom. I did the test and then almost within seconds, two dark pink lines appeared. I thought, "wow, I'm screwed."
The rest of my pregnancy was like hell on Earth. My great-grandmother passed, and I was too ashamed to tell her while she was alive. I was afraid that she wouldn't take the news well and didn't want to stress her out. Well, at her funeral, my grandmother said that she was sick of being here, since she had nothing else to look forward to. This brought tears to my eyes and made me wonder, "if I told her what was coming, would she have had the strength to live just a little bit longer?"
At the same time, my grandfather was having health issues. His kidneys were shutting down, and he was put in hospice care. My grandfather was kind of judgmental and crazy, so I also held off on telling him until Mother's Day came around. He was actually pretty excited, but he died about a week before the baby was born. Although my grandfather and most of my family room the news well, others did not. My baby's father didn't want him, and my sister was upset because she liked life as it was. Passers by were giving me dirty looks (and some still do to this day) because it was obvious that I was a young mother.
Currently I am a single mother. Am I proud of myself? Honestly, no, because I should have been more responsible and have either waited to have sex or just told my mother what was going on from the beginning, so that I could of at least got better protection than the natural cycle mapping. But there's no sense in crying over spilled milk, so I suck it up and take care of my son. Do I regret having my son? No, I do not. But I do regret not having my life together before having him. I'm working on picking up the pieces; I just feel so bad for my son, not just cause I struggle to get by, but also because he doesn't have his father around. I wanted a have a whole family for my kids, but I guess it's too late for that.
Now, I could have chosen another topic to write about, such as my first relationship, or my first pet. But I have seen way too much questions here on GirlsAskGuys about "the Pullout Method" or "Ways to Know if I'm Pregnant" to ignore this topic.
So, to those of you who think that the Pullout Method works for you, or just don't use any protection, I ask, what are you going to do when you see two dark pink lines?
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