Sexual Health
+1 y

Should I tell him I'm a virgin?

I've been seeing someone for a few months now but he doesn't know I'm a virgin. We've fooled around & almost had sex, but it never came up so I never told him. He assumes I'm not, actually most of my friends do...its not like I act slutty (far from it actually) but I'm not a prude about it either...I'm just a very laid back, open-minded person so people generally assume I'm not. People I've know that were open about their virginity were usually given a hard time about it. It's never been a matter of waiting for marriage, it's just never felt right when I've had the opportunity...for various reasons. I've considered having sex w/him many times actually. I'm just afraid that if I tell him he'll do one of two things...he'll be angry/upset w/me for not telling him before, or he'll get scared like the last guy I was involved with did after I told him...and he'll push me away. Should I tell him or not?
Updates:
+1 y
so since everyone keeps answering this I'm just going to go ahead and say that no I did not tell him beforehand. he never asked and never even suspected because after I told him the other day (2 weeks after the incident(s)) he flipped out.
+1 y
He kept telling me how stunned he was and how I should have told him because it was his business too. I guess he was most upset that I couldn't be honest with him and maybe a little because he was embarrassed that he couldn't tell?
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I say it would be good to mention that you're not the most sexually experienced... but you don't have to come right out and tell him if you don't want to. You're right, it might scare some guys but everyone starts out a virgin (right?) and he should be pretty happy knowing that he's not going to be compared to anyone else :) You said yourself that it's not because you're saving it so he should know that you're not a prude and if he decides to get all freaked out and push you away then he's probably not the guy you want to give it to :)

  • i think you should because what if y'all end up having sex, and your cherry pops, that will just be a really awkward way of him finding out!

    plus a lot of guys respect that's girls are virgins and just explain to him what the other guy did to you when you told him and just say sorry it took you so long!

  • I was in the same exact position you're in now.

    But I waited until he had his pants down to tell him.

    You should bring up sex in general and nonchalantly let him know.

    My guy didn't mind, he took it and I'm still with him.

    You just gotta be honest with him.

Most Helpful Guys

  • about the guy that said the thing about hymen I would have to agree. I almost stopped one time when I was with a girl thinking I really hurt her than I realized when she held me tighter that it was just her hymen not that I was being too rough. we never talked about being a virgin before we had sex so I had no idea if she was or not. I would have to say if you do have your hymen definitely tell him you are a virgin if not it's up to you if you think you might be too tight for him or anything else like that.

  • If you still have your hymen you better tell the poor guy. He'll think he hurt you. That and the fact that your eyes will more then likely be full of tears. Not telling him would be as equally hilarious as it would be cruel. You'd probably make him stop having sex completely.

    If you don't have it then I wouldn't bother. Guys get hung up on the V card. It's hardly a big deal unless you're using teeth during a BJ or nearly breaking his penis while riding him. (Google that last part)

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 3

  • Tell him! a lot of guys like virgins, including myself. :-)

  • Lies are the barriers that prevent successful relationships

    • For the love of god will you people please read the update before posting more about this?

  • Virginity is a good thing. It shows that you're not a whore./

  • most guys like virgins girls

    but girls don't like virgin boys

    but anyways I would tell him that's just me

  • tell him

    he'll get soo turned on=]

  • you should definitely tell him one day, it might make him want to have sex with you more actually. but don't jump into it. if he's the right guy to lose your virginity to, then he will treat you the same. props for you for staying a virgin though for sure!

  • yes, tell him

    • Read the update.

  • Of course, when I told my BF, he thanked, and asked me to wait until marriage. I agreed. Who knows what would had been happened if I hadn't told him.

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