Women tend to have differing times to organism, depending on age, time-of-the-month of their cycle, etc. Some tend to be more orgasmic than others. (I could be wrong on this...)
My partner used to find it harder to climax when she was young (20s, 30s), but finds it far easier to do so in her 40s.
I think a man should accept that arousal can take a bit of time for a woman, and be understanding on this front. (Unfortunately, men tend to get excited earlier, and then want "their thing", meaning some kind of sexual relief for themselves, to happen... which could ruin the experience for both.)
Take to some alternative options that help build up your sexual feelings, before diving into full-blown sex. Watching porn together (not the male-oriented hard-core stuff, but gentler single-x or content with a lot of nudity) can stimulate some women.
Another thing that really works is mutual (but specially man-to-woman) sexualised massage. It can turn on the woman quite fast, specially when she can just lie down and relax for awhile, knowing that her partner is understanding, and isn't in a hurry to "get on with it". There are a lot of web pages which explain the how-tos of a sexual massage.
Alternatively, take turns in pleasuring each other. While it is the most natural idea to try and be simultaneous about sex, sometimes taking turns is more practical. Maybe he could pleasure you first, and then vice-versa, leaving space (if possible) for some mutual pleasuring towards the end.
If he doesn't like going down on you or fingering you, but he expects the opposite for him, then you've got a lousy boyfriend. Not only that, he wants you to finish quicker. Which means that he is selfish, impatient, and oblivious to your feelings and needs. I have no idea what you see in a guy like this.
Um, am I even reading this correctly? He expects you to go down on him and have sex with him [where he is pretty much guaranteed an orgasm], yet he refuses to go down on you or even finger you? Most girls take 15-20 minutes to orgasm, WITH foreplay. MOST girls can't orgasm from sex alone, at all. He should feel lucky, if anything. Yet he goes so far as to complain that you take too long to orgasm? What a joke.
Sounds to me like your boyfriend is a selfish prick and you'd be better off without him. He doesn't know how good he has it, and he needs a reality check right quick. Are you sure this guy even cares about you or your needs at all? It sure doesn't sound like it.
Tell him to slow down or start learning how to give you some loving foreplay. If he won't do that then I guess you'll just have to contend with what you now have going. The more pressure he puts on you the longer it'll take you to orgasm. I always take 15 - 20 minutes to orgasm myself, and I don't want to any faster because then it won't even be fun anymore. That includes my boyfriend fingering and giving me oral because he really does love pleasuring me like that.
This guy sounds like a jerk! I'm sorry, but I've never heard of guys who won't at least finger a girl anymore. Especially if he won't do either and then he's complaining that you take too long! He better not be getting blow jobs or hand jobs either. This guy is super selfish.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!He won't do either? Does he like oral performed on him? He sounds like a loser, and I would really look into other options. If you really don't want to leave him, I would suggest trying to get some foreplay.
Wow, boyfriend of the year. I don't see why he's complaining about how long your taking when he refuses to do something about it.
stop giving him blow jobs.
wow.. he won't go down on you or finger u? but he expect you to orgasm quicker? something is wrong there ..if he wants to please you he's gotta make an effort...
next time you have sex tell him to go down on you or finger you until orgasm or you won't do anything for him. if you're giving for him then he should give for you.
well umm, I hope you're not blowing him or giving him handjobs then.
The next time you are in bed to have sex, start masturbating. Tell him you will not touch him, or have sex with him, until you have an orgasm, and that if you have to do it yourself, so be it.
I definitely agree.
tell him your normal because that's how long it takes the avg girl
Hahaha! He must think the female orgasm is magic and just happens because his penis is awesome! Sorry but like everyone has said... very selfish of him... He needs to do a little research apparently... Or I could be completely wrong... You should maybe try his approach to orgasms when you are giving him one... Try just staring at his penis for a while... he should lose it within 5 mins otherwise he's taking too long! Haha sorry for the sarcasm but seriously!
Actually, most girls usually take longer to orgasm than guys do, even with foreplay sometimes. My girlfriend does as well as did my ex. But I always do at least some fingering and often oral until they're totally turned on. That really helps getting a girl prepared for having sex. If he won't do anything then I guess he really doesn't care about your needs, and you're going to have to live with that as long as you're with him. That's being soo very selfish of him. Instead of you speeding up, tell him to slow things down and not be trying to get things over as fast as he can. Having sex is suppose to be a special loving act between two people that are in love and committed to each other. If your relationship lacks those then that's the underlying problem. Just tell him he needs to slow down because you won't be having sex with him again until he does or come up with a way that you can have equal pleasure.
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