I feel insecure about strippers...

[Anonymous]

Ok, so me and my fiancee are getting married. Of course he's having a bachelor's party and well, his friends (and him too I guess, lol) are perverts at heart, so of course there will be strippers. The problem is I hate the idea of him getting a lap dance. Which he probably will have since, hey, it's a bachelor's party. I can't compete with a stripper's body. I have practically no boobs, my butt isn't great and I could lose a couple of pounds a tone up. Anyway even if I was skinny and toned like a stripper I'd still lack the curves. I feel really unconfident and even though it's just for a night and all, of course he will remember that hot body bouncing on his lap for a long time. How am I supposed to be ok with him seeing me naked after that, huh?! Sure he's watched pornos, but he's never been to a strip club and he has NEVER had a lap dance. There's a difference between looking at some big fake t*ts in a video and having a pair of big fake perfect t*ts in your face bouncing for real! Plus there is some touching since these girls are dancing on the guy's crotch... Makes me wanna puke when I think about these perfect gals vs. my same ole body... I know love is about much more than that but I hate "sharing" him with a stripper. I'm not having any strippers because I don't want any, I just want to go and chill to a club with my friends. You know just dancing, having a few drinks... maybe even a gay club, fun...

[dave216]

Lets analyze the situation with a bit of logic. The world is roughly half female, so your man had a lot of options, but he chose you. There are females with big boobs and great butts in all types of hair color and style, but he chose you. Your body, in your mind at least, is not perfect, but he chose you. And you are worried about a few moments of his time with his pals when there is some unknown paid girl present? He Chose YOU.

[Asker]

Easier said than done, though...

[l-hedoniste]

Ignore it until the day after; then it won't matter.

[Asker]

Why is it so acceptable to have a naked chick bounce on you when you're getting married? I don't get it! If it were because of that then it wouldn't matter afterwards... he could have all the strippers he wanted after getting married right, because marriage is just a contract and all that, technically it means nothing, it doesn't make your feelings change all of a sudden...

[Asker]

And I seriously believe that, it wasn't sarcastic or anything, to me marriage is a bit pointless since you just only like sign a paper, it's a contract and doesn't change the feelings you have for the other person, but he wanted to get married and since I believe he's my soulmate I said yes. It only changes things in a legal level, I hope it makes sense, what I'm saying.

[l-hedoniste]

From reading your post, I gathered that this is to be a one-time thing. If so, why freak out? Are you seriously willing to blow up your marriage over this? No? Then let it rest. It's not worth the energy.

[Asker]

Are strippers hotter? If yes, then for me at least it's not a one time thing. I don't want to start my marriage feeling uglier than other people, especially since I'm so young anyway... I mean I know it's vain but I'm a woman feeling beautiful and like the sexiest is one of those things that you just crave... even if looks aren't the most important, you just want it.

[l-hedoniste]

I know a lot of hot girls who are dying--DYING--to have a good man go down on one knee and walk them up the aisle. If you want wolf whistles on a pole, go get them; the road to Strippervile is easy for the disciplined. Otherwise, cherish what you have, and let sleeping dogs lie. Another tip: I've seen lots and lots and lots of people blow up relationships by trying to make their partners dance to their insecurites. Unfair, unnecessary, dangerous. Lose the habit, or lose the man.

[Asker]

Yeah, I guess you're right. Easier said than done, but ah well, I may be ugly but at least I'm loved. I still think that if I allow it this time, then the next time he wants it I'll have to say yes (it'd be stupid to ban it only because we're married, especially if I allowed him once), especially since from now on, I'm not getting any younger or prettier and we'll probably have children so my body is going downhill. Ah well...

[l-hedoniste]

Even if you were as ugly as you think you are--no one is, you neither--it wouldn't much matter; only a monstrously stupid man picks the person he wants to be old with, the person who's going to raise his children with him, based on how she looks. You have, to him, quality so compelling that he wants you for himself AND his children, for the long haul. Worth a little, I think.

[jbone79]

Makes me wanna puke when I think about these perfect gals vs. my same ole body...

"No man or woman is such a conqueror as the man or woman who has defeated themself." - Henry Ward Beecher. (amended for dual gender application)