Am I still a virgin?

I told my boyfriend when we first started dating that I didn't want to have sex. He said that was fine and that he respected that. One time we were making out on his bed and he started fingering me like he had before, but this time he took his pants off. We were kissing and I tried to push him off because I didn't want that and he said he "wasn't going to put it in." He just started rubbing it between my legs.

Well that became the new thing to do and almost every time we were making out on a bew or something he started doing that. One time, he let it kinda rest on my vagina, but it didn't go in. Then that was the new thing to do.

However, I have started speculating that even if his head was only a little bit inside, maybe I had still lost my virginity. The thought scares me because I wouldn't even know which time to count as saying I had lost it.

Just the other day I think he went in a little farther than the other times. Probably not even an inch and definitely not all the way.

So all this begs the question, am I still a virgin? I have never bled but I have read that the hylem can be broken during other events, and sometimes not even bleed.

So what's ya'lls call on this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Virginity is just a word, nothing happens when it's gone, no one will truly know but you whether you did it so why care? I'm not a virgin but in some ways I am:

    Me and my girlfriend came up with something:

    ATM I am 1/5 virgin because I have done 4/5 of (handjob, blowjob, titjob, foreplay) but 1/5 not done (sex- done it but only coupla times and still hurts her :( ) and she is 1/5 same and 4/5 done (clitoral, g-spot, licking out, err I forget)

    anyway, it's your decision really

    my opinion is, no your not cos its not the hymen breaking that hurts, it's the streching out, believe me you'll feel that pain and then your not a virgin.

    my advice to you is to stop him doing that or go all the way because he is getting a bit more in every time by the sounds of it and one day without warning he'll go all the way in and basically its rape but you won't realise cos its complicated anyway

    • I don't know why it matters but I feel like its something I should know haha thanks for your advice and I will talk to him =)

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What Guys Said 6

  • It does not matter. Who cares if you say your a virgin or don't. Claim which ever you like, but you better keep your panties on and knock off the stupid kid games or you are about to be a pregnant non virgin. Seriously, you are playing a very dangerous game.

    • I realize that and that's why I'm starting to ask questions about it. I want to know what damage I have done so I know how to continue on from here

  • Yes you are kind of... . But so you know he intends to go all the way and has no respect for you and your request to wait. It is pushing the virgin not virgin question. I feel when the thin tissue is broke by a ban or passed by then you have lost it. But this is an opinion . Some would say you lost it.

    • If I had broken it during sports or something, then I wouldn't really be able to tell then would I? THey say you can see it with a mirror, and I can't. But since I didn't bleed I think I must have broken it some other time. I am so confused haha

  • Technically your body is still virgin to intercourse, but literally do you really consider a girl who gets a penis put between her legs to be pure/ virginal?

    Honestly he'll keep going with this until you're having sex so if you really want to make an attempt at saving it, stop doing anything sexual with him. Trust me its like the frog in the frying pan, just a little at a time until you're going at it.

    • I totally agree. That's what I thought when I started thinking about it was, "how did this happen?" haha and I guess I wouldn't consider it pure, but for my own peace of mind I'm going to say I am...

  • You can't be a "little bit" pregnant and you can't be "sort of a virgin".

    If he put the head in a little bit, you've had sex. It might not have been full blown sex, but it is considered sex by most standards.

    Not breaking the hymen may be considered the real milestone, and if YOU decide that's it for you, then YOUR definition is the only one that is important.

    Safest thing to do is to get protection and have sex or have one of you keep your pants on until your ready.

  • once penis enters vagina, ur no longer a virgin. Congratulations, you are now a woman.


What Girls Said 13

  • hmmm...your 1/2 a virgin lol

    • Lol is there such a thing?

    • I think there is.....because his peterwacker was barely inside you, and I think as long as it WASNT full-on penetration, you are still somewhat a virgin, but then AGAIN, technically speaking it was "inside you" even if it was only a centimeter or whatever

    • So as far as "penetration" goes, I'm not.

      but since it wasn't very far, I am...

      haha you're right!!! 50-50

  • I would say yes, you're still a virgin in the technical sense. However, if you still do not wish to have sex, you need to tell him that a.s.a.p. or he will continue, little by little until he's got it in. This boy clearly either 1) has no respect for your wish to wait or, 2) thinks that you've changed your mind since you're allowing him to rub his penis on you. It's very likely that the hymen was broken from something else, although not all girls tend to bleed.

    • So if it had been broken from something else, is there any other way to tell when he's put it in far enough to have lost my virginty? That sounds kinda bad, but I'm not saying I'm gonna push it by telling him "hey you can only put it in this far" haha. Just so I know for in the future because I had always thought you could tell by them "popping your cherry", but if its already gone, then what? Ya know?

    • Really, if it goes any further in than what you'd described, I'd change my opinion - because it sounds like you're consensual up until the point when you think that it means losing your virginity, the reality is, either you do or you don't - It's not really fair to him to say "You can put it in part way". Once it's in, it's in - and there's no difference as to how far etc [be sure he wears a condom. And no, you can't really tell if he would have broken your hymen if it had still been there.

    • Yeah, I'm kinda all for trying new things and messings around as long as I don't lose my virginity.... that has always been my intention. There are plenty of things we could do haha

  • Technically you haven't had sex, so if it makes you feel better consider yourself a virgin :) and tell that boy to keep his pants on, cause next thing you know, sex will the the new thing to do.

    • It does make me feel better haha especially since I wouldn't be able to say exactly when my first time was...

      so sex would be like him ejaculating inside of me? or would it simply be going in farther?

  • Your hymen is still entact you are pretty much a virgin but not for very long.

    • If it broke from sports or something though, how could I tell if he went too far?

    • I honestly don't know, I am a virgin. But if a penis is inside of your inner "lips" I don't know the technical term but its not your vagina. You can look up the specifics if you like.

    • Ok thank you! that's what I had always thought of it as, but then when he went a little farther like that I kinda freaked and started asking questions. I talked to him about it today and how I was worried and he said he understood and it was ok with him if we didn't do that anymore. I guess we'll see if he really means that as time goes on haha

  • as long as you didn't bleed , nope you didn't lose ur virginity and that's 95% sure ... anyway you can check a doc for a 100% answer . and if you really don't wanna lose it try to stop him next time .

    • I have heard you can use a mirror to check if your hymen is still intact, and if its something you can obviously see, either its not there or I don't know what I'm looking for haha I'm worried that if I had broken it through sports or something, I wouldn't bleed my first time. Isn't that breaking the thing that makes you bleed?

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    • Then yeah I still think ur still a virgin .. and btw there s nothing such as 1/2 or 1/4 or bla bla virgin :D its either yes or no ...

    • Thank you =)

      and yeah I know haha I was just kidding

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