Masturbating with a cucumber?

[Anonymous]

I have been wanting to masturbate lately with something with girth and length. But unfortunately I have nothing at my disposal other than my fingers and a hair brush handle (which is quite thin). I live with my parents and I currently do not have a job so buying a vibrator is basically impossible at this point. Also my mother is the snoopiest person on the face of the planet, so she'll find it. I do not want to ask for condoms for the cucumber since I am not sexually active with someone, and it would be just plan awkward to ask my parents. Please let me know if it's even remotely sane to use a well-washed cucumber as a dildo, please?

[Anonymous]

Most helpful is right. Wrap it tightly. You may want to trim the working end to smoothly round. One warning is that a typical cucumber is dimensionally larger than most guys. That could pose a problem when the time comes. Instead, use an English cuke. They are much narrower and have rumpling in the skin that may be helpful to the sensation. They are sold individually wrapped. Replace the wrap with new saran wrap.

[Aizou]

It should be fine / safe to do that, as long as you're
completely sure it's sterilized.

It's not safe for whoever's going to eat it after though ^.~

[CrazyKate541]

Its totally safe! I grow my own and enjoy them a lot. Its great because I can pick them at the right size and I know where they have been. If you can't grow your own I suggest using organic ones. If you have a farmers market nearby those are usually the best. A quick wash in cold water is fine. I suggest coconut oil as a lube as it is naturally antibacterial etc.

[Okalow]

This is a very scared and stupid guy asking a question, i masturbated using a cucumber, you know, one if the small ones in a plastic cup, bc my hole is really tight, but my stupid ass forgot to wash it, do i have any chance of an infection?

[Anonymous]

maybe use saran wrap around the cucumber. wrap it tight tho!

[Kinstrome]

Have you looked for something that is as safe as a condom to wrap around a cucumber?

[Asker]

No, all I have is some lunch baggies.

[slowlydying]

Needs to be a condom around the cucumber. Saran wrap or baggies are made of a plastic which very well might react with your vagina (which is, uh, quite sensitive). You are unlikely to get the veggie free of bacteria without using some sort of chemical cleaner that you want in your vagina even less. You could also use this as practice for putting condoms on actual penises. For example, a woman that can roll a condom onto a penis with her mouth is VERY impressive. Practice on that cucumber, then have at it.

[Kinstrome]

I don't think anti-bacterial things remain active very long, based on my experience with anti-bacterial handwash. It dries on your hands and you can eat sandwiches after without getting hurt. I wouldn't recommend it without knowing more, but if the vagina's like other mucus membrane, it won't cause serious damage, mostly just irritation and drying. But again, look this up and ask around. You aren't the first girl who hasn't been able to get condoms, so I'm sure there is advice in abundance elsewhere on the internet.

[stevie123]

Use an English cuke, not so wide.
I don't see the need to wrap the veggie, just wash it before you use it.
I know a girl that uses long necked beer bottles.

[BertMacklinFBI]

it sounds normal to me:P I mean I don't actually know in experience but you see it in movies a lot as sexual references.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

If you got condom on the cucumber yes than you could use it

[AchingSoul24]

Hahahhaha omg xD

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Awww xD

[TheNewClassic]

Damn, a cucumber is huge! Maybe try a carrot? :D

But i think washing it with water should be okay, but Im not sure...

[Skyward]

bring lube xD

[atomique]

Wait is that why she calls me carrot?

[croxy]

Just use a condom, you can buy them in food store, and most places, you can order free condoms in packages where you can't see what it is.

[ThatBritishLad]

I tried masturbating with a cucumber once, but it just sat next to me on its phone whilst I awkwardly got to work.

[Asker]

haha very funny.

[TheEnding]

I have no idea. Wouldn't a cucumber be uncomfortable though?

[ieatDaCake]

dat desperate? lol

[Asker]

Not desperate, just deprived.

[Anonymous]

Use a condom. Don't stick any fruit or vegetables into your hoohaa, unless they are washed, and wrapped in a condom.